Post deleted by sunnyd

Sorry you have to be here, but you found great place to be under the circumstances. Have you read the material on the site?? Read up on plan A. That is where you start. Plan A and exposure. First priority is maintaining your sanity and protecting your children while trying to bust up this affair.

Sd- I'm also sorry that you find yourself here! Welcome! You can make it through this! Can you explain a little more on what you have done? You said that you exposed. How was that done? Also, are you sure that there has been NC?

Post here as often as you need! It has been a great help with me and my situation! Can you get more detail on your situation?

We look forward to hearing from you! Take care!

Sunnyd,

Sorry about your situation, but welcome to Marriage Builders..start reading all material that is available to you on this site. Weekends on the board are somewhat slow..dont worry the MBers Vets will be along soon


L

Post deleted by sunnyd

I couldn't tell from your post for sure but make sure you tell the OM's wife about the affair. I think your are right the OM will not want to be on the hook for CS and Alimony. He may drop your wife like a hot potato.

In my opinion DO NOT get a 2nd job. All you will do is fund her affair. It would not matter how much money you made she would outspend you. No matter how much I made my wife just started spending more. I make a good living and I was amazed how much she spent.

I am really sorry you have to be here. All I can say is expose, expose, expose to get her away from this guy. She also needs help and counseling when the affair is over. How old are your children? Do they know about the affair or are they too young?

Good Morning! How are you today?

Well, It sounds like you are doing a good job! Are you plan Aing? When was the last C, your W could very well still be in the "fog." I would be inclined to believe that if the A lasted for years that the "fog" will last a while also. If you are in Plan A, what length of time have you decided you can handle? Have you read SAA? The articles here?

It also seems like you know your weaknesses, what are your strenght and how can you use them right now?

Like Jean36 said:

Post deleted by sunnyd

Post deleted by sunnyd

Good Morning, SunnyD!

Since you are not sure what Plan A is I found the link for you to read.

What is Plan A and Plan B?

It sounds to me like she's doing a lot of "fog" talk , and she want to have her cake and eat it too. I strongly recommend exposeing to OW's W. Yes, your wife will be angry, but you will also have someone else to monitor contact between the too. Also, OM's W has the right to know what her DH has been up too.

The best advice that I can give you regarding the statements, and modds of your WW right now, is not to take anything she says or does personally, only as information!

Do you feel that whether or not you let her call OM regarding the job interview will have an impact on your WW's ability to get the job? Do you feel that you will be responsible for her not getting the job? You have no control on whether the interviewer will want to hire her, you have no control on your WW's performance in the interview. KNow what you can control and what you can't control. You can't control your WW, her reactions, her behavior, you CAN control your own.

I strong suggest reading EVERYTHING you can on this website, Love Bank, Love busting, Plan A, PLan B, etc. Start focusing on you and improving you, finding out who you realy are, create a loving and happy home, one that any individual would want to be in, take care of yourself, health, sleep, etc.

Until you have NC, you can no move on to recovery and your WW will be in the fog, her own little fantasy land! Also, counseling will do your WW no good as long as contact is being made, you however may want to check into individual counseling. Try to stay away from relationship talk right now, this is really hard to do, even for me at this point, but it will be in your best interest!


I'm hoping that one of the longtimers will offer you some help also. I'm still a newbie, and sometimes have my ducks flying here and there. If you look at my sig. line, D-day was in April, so I have a long way to go!

Have a great day, take them one at a time! Smile, and try to laugh as often as you can. It's good for the soul! LOL

Post deleted by sunnyd

How To Organize A Marital Recovery Plan

Spying 101


Also, read Exposure 101! Work on both you and Monitoring the situation. Watch how you involve friends, you may not have them when all is said and done because they got involvoed. Be careful! Think things through, don't rush into something because you're feelinga certain way!

You're doing a great job, keep up the good work! The more you know the better you can handle your situation!