Good morning all -
Well the sun is out and humidity is down so I suppose that constitutes a good morning.

I found out about my WH affair from 2001-2002 in Jan 06. When I confronted him about current EA.
I have been in plan A since Feb/March. He still denies current EA. But all the signs are there.

Either way his current contempt for me and the kids has become too much to bear. He rarely spends more than an hour at home (awake) a day. When he is here he's withdrawn. In frotn of others he is civil but he's just a complete [censored] otherwise.

We are in MC. He does not implement suggestions from the counselor. Everything is my fault.

I am also in IC which has made me significantly stronger.

I am confident that it is time to start planning Plan B.
The following is a letter to my WH. Please advise.

(I am grateful for having this extended network of support.
Thank you!)

Michelle


[color:"blue"] [/color]
I love you. I always have.

I remember meeting you as that over confident funny guy in a crazy hat at the American Revolution. You made me laugh. Your contagious personality made me long to be by your side (then and now). The more I got to know you the more I wanted to be with you through it all. I still feel this way.

For whatever reason I fear that you have made a conscious effort to destroy this. Our day to day interactions are damaging the like, love and respect I have for you.

Every day I think of the wonderful experiences we have shared. And I want to preserve these as the beautiful memories that they are.

It is at this time that I must ask you to leave so that I may protect my love for you.

I want to be married to you forever. I want our kids and grandkids to come hang out on our porch on Sunday afternoons. I want to remain in love with you.

You are correct when you say that you can’t make me happy but I have come to realize that is my fault. You are not responsible for my happiness. Through all the transitions in our marriage I came to rely on you too much. I had fallen into the belief that that’s what our roles should be. I am in the process of fixing myself. I am sorting through confusion that has nothing to do with you. My goal is to be stronger more lovable person for myself and my kids.

I want Alexa and Jillian to have the luxury of being raised in a loving two parent home free of tension. They deserve this. They deserve the fun and happy couple we are capable of being.

I stand by the letter I gave you in January re: Honesty. And working on our marriage. I believe that we have a better, happier life ahead of us.

I truly have faith in God. I believe that His Plan for us is greater that the current strife. I want a better marriage.

I want you to be so happy that you will be completely fulfilled within our marriage. I don’t want you to feel that you have to look outside of us to find the things missing with us.

I remain committed to working on us.

I need space.

Please pack your bags tonight. I do not want to have any contact with you what so ever. The children are ours. You may make arrangements to see them through Janet. We will use her to baby-sit for the girls on drop offs and pick-ups. I am serious when I say I need to have no contact with you.

I also ask that through this period you continue to pay the bills and provide me with $300 a week to cover minimal costs. If this needs to be changed at any time we will arrange it (in writing) through Janet. I will give you advance notice (in writing) for any additional expenses that may come up.
I want to rebuild this marriage. From the ground up. I want to fix what I have broken. I want to feel that I have your full support of following Dr. Senior’s advice from week to week.

I need you to discontinue all contact with Kate. This may include finding a new job and I will help you to make it through this tough time in any way possible.

I need full disclosure on all areas of your life.


I want to be clear.
I do not want to talk to you or see you until your intentions to build our marriage are evident. This includes phone calls or emails. You will not see me in the transferring of the kids. We will have no direct contact.

It is with heavy heart that I feel that we have gotten to this point.
I love you. I want you. I am thankful for you.

The current arrangement is counter productive.
I want to preserve the admiration I have for you as a spouse and a father. I want the whole package with you. I want you to be Alexa and Jilly’s father every day. I want to vacation together and decorate for Christmases. I want to cook mediocre dinners without vegetables for you every night and I want to hear you say,” Thank you” even though you picked up our ToGo.
I want to have your little Bobman.

This is my attempt to preserve our dreams and our future together without tainting it. You, and I and the family deserve this for the rest of our lives.

Bump for Michelle...

The letter needs to be a bit shorter. Also there are a few disrespectful judgements in it.

Hopefully some experts will be along.

Bump

OK here goes my push for my Plan B letter.

Dear WS,

I love you. I won't share you. When you feel the same, please contact me. Until that time I want no further contact with you either directly or indirectly. ( There may be one or two lines added if you have children)

help????