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Curly
don't post details about your life & then later beg everything be deleted by the MODs
OK?
Pep
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Do you have a question? Is TEAR your H? I dont know how to beggin our story... but I know if I dont do it right now, tomorrow I have been cobard as usual..
You can read some tear post in order to understan my situation now..
Writing this is dangerous for me,, I dont want to my H reads all this, because if I dont kill him with this truth he is going to killing me...
My terrible story began some time ago.. I started to email, with a coworker that lives in another country and I never met him in person just by webcam..
Our friendship become so close for me and I thouhgt I was "too much interested in him"
In that time my life in house had its problems, but not so big.. my main concern was sexual affection, my H and I just make love once per month,., I asked my H why and he said, because he was so tired and that all..
This coworker (that lives in another country) was as a "master in sex" and he invited me to have sex my webcam.. I denied at first, and I tried to be distant from this coworker, but it was just time.. and I failed,, and I did it by webcam,. it was a new experience and in that time I enjoyed it... and I repeat it several times..
Then things go worst, and we use phone in order to "do it" , this is so embarrassing, but I need to write all this crap that I did,...
I live in a society machista and I had my first sexual relation in my weeding night with my H so I havent know any other man in that way.. I had never show my body to another man than my H until this by web cam. I regret about this but I did it..
After this events,, I felt so bad, and my selfsteem was decreasing, and decreasing.. I was so stupid, and I got involved with this coworker, in a sentimental way.. I was afraid to say him no... about his demands of "doing by phone or webcam" and sometimes I could but sometimes not... I found this website in order to look for help and I got it.. (I was culry17 in that time) and thanks to this site I could realize that this first OM was filling my sexual need.. even he never touch me or I to him.. I had a PA right? and my H doesnt now all this...
This OM1 told me that we are just having fun and that our spouses never gonna now about this... and he told me.. you can have that you dont have at home wih me but in a safe way, because we haven touch... (I was like obsessed with this OM1 and I tried several times to finish that "friendship").. OM1 challenge me to "taste" some other ways to get sexual "affection" getting in some sites in the internet.. I had told him that I feel something more than desire for him, and he told me I was wrong.. and he invited me to proof another situation... to "make it" with a strange in internet... I regret at first but I did it..
I started to chat with some men in internet... and a man with 42 years old keep my attention.. and we started to chat... and I told him my problem with OM1 and that I need to live this OM1 away.. and proog myself that any other man could fill the need that OM1 did.. Obviously, this "gentleman" offers help me with this,, and "did it" just chating, without any camera... this time I like his tenderness and I prefer OM2 than OM1 in virtual sex.. and I started to stop "contact " with OM1...
OM2 and me got closer, and maybe because his age, but he respected me when I said him No cameras.. and I never show my body to him... this OM2 lives in same country but in another state... and I met him once that he came here because his bussiness, and he just went to lunch,, and nothing more...
OM2 realized that I dont wanna to do somethin in real life.. and just in fantasy... (Am I sick right?, am I a pervertive woman? or something?)
OM2 couldnt get in line frecuently so , I found another "friend" OM3 (with had 43 years old) and similar story... and for me he was the master in "virtual sex",., but this man, said, that he was getting interested and that he didnt want to hurt me or my marriage, so we were agree to stop our chats... and we did it... but meanwhile, I found interesting a chat from a man just one year older than me and he was near than me as he lives in same city..
This OM4 was the worst for me.. because he was charming,, and he suggested how to stop my "virtual sex" with OM's.. at the begining he told me that he just want to help me to leave this mess away.. and to be "clean" in main.. of course at the begining I didnt believe anything... and he just chat a few times...
MB members adviced me that I should told my H all the truth, but I was afraid, and cobard... now I know that I should follow that advice... and I havent done things worst...
OM5 as he lives in same city, you can guess what happened, well it was just time,, and I met him and in our first date he asked me permission to touch me in ... an private place.. and I got angry and I asked him never look for me again.. I told him I thought we are just friends and your question about masturbate me botters me"" and I leaft the place.. It was a parking place,, OM5 started to send me emails, phone calls, and did everything to keep in contact with me,, and at first I denied,,, but then I started that frienship again.... OM5 said welll I can with the fact that we never gonna have nothing in person just by internet or phone... I told OM5 about all OM's and I share with him severl secrets that I never share with anyone.. I was so stupid!!! and this OM5 was a good listener, and as he has same profession than me,,, we had severl things in common..
I never lied my H about a place where I go, but I hiding that in some appointment, OM5 went with me... once OM5 went with me to some physical analisist... and nothing wrong happened..
OM5 went to my house to review a computer that was broke, and I told my H about this visit... and nothing wrong happened...
OM5 went to my house a second time and I told my H also, and then my H got angry why "that friend" always go home when he wasnt there.. at that time. my frienship with OM5 wasnt in another sense.. (well we had had virtual sex") but in person nothing... we got closer and closer friends.. and our "intimate encouters, were longer than before",, (all by internet) and this OM5 never asked me to show him my body by webcam and I felt more comfortable than with all others OM's...
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It looks as though curly IS tear...Is that true???
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I don't think so, Mrs. Curly is Curly, I think. She'd posted this a long time ago then a few months ago asked that all her posts be deleted because she was afraid of her husband.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Shoot, I'd be afraid, too, if I had her history. Yikes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
Why someone needs to drag a spouse through this kind of h*ll is beyond me. Wanna be single? Be single!
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Is there a question or are you just bragging?
Last edited by Drucilla; 07/24/06 03:53 PM.
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My H suspects something, and I dont want to tell him all this,,
Im going to kill him if he doesnt kill me first
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Get a Divorce and get some serious IC to address your problems. No Spouse deserves this! - Dru
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I love my H, and since D day I haven any bad behaviour...
My H hits me four times.. after D day,, and I accepted as I felt guilty I guess.
I have been clear with my H since D day. but not about hole truth (past)..
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Chelsea rules
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WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Drucilla
Would you so kind to erase this?
Im going to follow your advice, and I prefer not to have this registered in MB records..
I appreciate your help.
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Curly,
You've been here since '04.
What part of 100% transparency do you not get?
Either you are transparent or you are not. If you are not going to be, why do you come here for advice?
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Curly,
It sounds like you have a sexual addiction -- and these things, spurred by internet pornography and "virtual" sex, are exploding.
I think you will need a lot of counseling. My XH had a pornography addiction -- I can recommend some books, "Tangled in the Web" and "Affair of the Mind," the latter by an evangelical-type, which may not be to your liking, but has some good stuff in it. There's not too much out there for this internet-era addiction, with web cams, phone sex, and online "dating" sites.
Maybe others can help.
"Virtue -- even attempted virtue -- brings light; indulgence brings fog." -- C.S. Lewis
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It looks as though curly IS tear...Is that true???
Mrs. W I don't think so, Mrs. Curly is Curly, I think. She'd posted this a long time ago then a few months ago asked that all her posts be deleted because she was afraid of her husband. I dunno Kimmy...I asked this because there WAS a post on tear's thread asking for people to read Curly's thread...So, who knows at this point... My H suspects something, and I dont want to tell him all this,,
Im going to kill him if he doesnt kill me first Curly, are you making threats about actually physically killing your husband, or are you referring to the death of one thousand cuts that you are now subjecting him to through your repeated infidelity? Mrs. W
Last edited by MrsWondering; 07/24/06 05:35 PM.
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Curly17,
I realize that English is your second language but are you the sole author on your posts or does someone else help you write them? Your writing style changes rather dramatically from post to post and sometimes within the same post.
Just curious.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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BY TEAR: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah, I think she blew it. This post by Tear first read: "I'm doing to delete this now". I think she forgot she was logged on as Tear. Now is says "What!!!!". Curly = Tear
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When I read this post
I get that
deer in the headlights look...
my mouth hangs open..
I have no idea what's going on.....
should i delete this now???
ARK
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