I fell in love with my "soul mate" when I was 16. I just turned 25 this month. When I was almost 20 I lost my virginity to him, believing we were going to get married (although we weren't engaged). Long story short, things didn't work out then (circumstances separated us) and I had a 4 year relationship (a very unhealthy one that did not end up in marriage, due to our shared immaturity and lack of self respect) that taught me a lot but also didn't work out. My soul mate has returned into my life and, surprisingly, we still get along the same and feel the same about each other. Since my breakup from my last relationship I have evaluted how I feel about relationships and have decided (thanks to this website, really) that I don't think people should have sex or live together before marriage. So I have been in touch with my soul mate for awhile now but have not even kissed him since he came back into my life. We have also agreed to not consider ANYTHING until December, after we know each other better again. I'm afraid of losing him again, but really feel like everything about "us" is right. I'm afraid to get married without having lived together first but now feel thats the right thing to request out of a person I want to spend my life with. Also, we live about 2,000 miles apart, so we can't get to know each other better except through email and phone time unless one of us moves... so in December, should we decide to pursue a relationship (both of us have agreed that if we start a relationship again it will ONLY be under the circumstance that we intend to make it VERY serious and permanent) do I tell him I can't get into the relationship unless we get married or, option B- one of us gives up everything (home, job, life) to move to the other's state (but not live together or have sex) to find out if we think marriage would work? I'm new to the idea of a healthy relationship... no one in my family has ever been a good role model and I am having to "research" to find out what a good relationship is.... therefore, I would really, really appreciate any advice that anyone has for me. I'm SO in love with this man... I was even before I knew him- it just felt right. And I believe he feels the same but circumstances haven't allowed things to be more serious before now. I know what I want- I want to be with him, but I don't know if what I WANT is really what is good for me. Especially after reading about how people can so easy not think straight when they feel in love. Please help.
