My h and I have been married for 2 years but living together for about 7. We just had a baby this past Nov. He's gone all the time with his profession and I was aware of that before we got married, it's fine. In Feb. he told me that he was unhappy, but I just thought it was something that all couples go through and it would work itself out. When he would come home he'd act normal. In June he told me he was thinking of moving out. This week we've started seeing a marriage councelor for the first time. He says he's waiting to see what she says before he decides what to do about moving out. His reasons for being unhappy are that I complain about things. And I do but I told him I know what I need to work on but he said he didn't know if he could let go of this wall that had been built up from the complaining. Do you think a marriage councelor will advise him to move out? He also said that it feels forced to do anything intamite with me. I just think alot has happend at once: moving into a new house, being pregnant, him doing really well which requires more work. Help!! I don't want him to move out because I know we can be happy again if he'd just start over or even try to be positive about it. What do you think about the marriage councelor question????

If its just nagging your H is complaining about.......and is unhappy about.....marriage counseling should solve that. For some reason, I think that sounds like an excuse, because ALL WIVES NAG.....LOL, not to be mean, but that is a lame excuse to end it all IMHO. He probably doesnt have another good reason to want out of being marriage.

Good luck, and god bless.

Update! My husband went yesterday for counceling and he didn't really say anything about it other than it went okay. I am very curious but don't want to pry. Do you think marriage councelors suggest moving out? Just curious as to what I should be prepared for when I walk in there tomorrow!

Counselors don't advise a spouse to move out unles there is physical abuse. Their purpose is to listen and get to the bottom of issues/conficts. Then they advise what each of that person can do to resolve some of those issues.

Your H's silence is his way of processing the counseling session. This can be a good sign because the counselor may have ignited something within him to consider that he's never thought of before. Often times, issues and conflicts arise because of unresolved issues from our past, ie. family upbringing.

Be patient and give him that space to think. Men are more comfortable with silence when they process things. Women on the other hand, we talk it out, vent it out which men automatical ASSUME we are complaining.

For you, try to rephrase your words. Avoid using "you/I always", "you/I never" or "you should". When you want your H to do something, say "hey babe, when you get a chance, would you help me....?" Expect that when men say "yes, I will do it in a minute", it usually means anywhere from a minute to 20 minutes, may be longer. But thank him anyway. And if in half hour he hasn't done it yet, ask "hey, babe, did you get a chance to do....?" Most always, they've forgotten about it. Accept that men have difficulty multi-tasking. Ir's biology.

So good luck.

NewMommy
try to bring your post to General Question II and hopefully you will get more replies there.
All the best of luck with your counciling sessions.
KFH