Thanks- it will be difficult, but I will try to read without judgement or anger...

Is there an OM board too?

Cinnamon,
I was refering to my earlier post on
MB under ThePinkPaige and TheNewPinkPaige not TOW.

And no, they don't have a separate OM forum.

Obviously you are someone else that has not read my
prior posts before feeing justified in assigning
judgement.
I was a former TOW poster- see Pep's post regarding me
and subsequent kind apology.


I haven't read no. You are a OW who destroyed a marriage, married OP right ? You stay and post here despite KNOWING you upset vulnerable posters right ?
I have all I need to know right there to be offended by you.

And yeah, I already know you don't care what people you upset on the boards including me. You made that clear.

Yet despite many requests- you won't tell me what it
is I said that has triggered you enough to posts?
You've drawm a couple untrue and/or incomplete conclusions
but yet won't read my prior posts. Why do you think that
is?

Bob,
So as a repentant former OP (like many former WS)- would
you suggest that I post at TOW (give my repentant status the benefit of the doubt here)? Where should I go regarding
addressing my nightmares and guilt of my A? Where is the
best place for me?

Paige
Put yourself in the postion of a betrayed spouse who is fighting for their wayward spouse

the spouse has moved out with the op

the spouse has filed for a divorce

the bs is still fighting for the marriage

the bs fights on

the divorce is granted

the bs still has hope

the ws remarries

the bs is devastated

the bs is coming here for support

the bs starts reading all of these posts by people who were the op but have now married the ws.

how do you think this is going to hurt them

before you ask- no I have not read your posts-
and what triggers me is the fact that I hear the hurt in the posts of many people here who are going through exactly what I have posted above

If you had any decency, you'd refrain from posting. You'd read in silence.

I understand that. I was referring to my reading of the OW stories on the TOW board-not yours specifically...

Amen for that!

Bob seeks to protect those who are already so fragile and vulnerable. Please have some respect.

I hear MySpace has great opportunities for the 'repentant OP'.

CIO

But is the position (feelings) of the BS the only ones
that matter, the only ones worthy of expression?
I ask the same ? of you as I did above.

For the sake of this discussion- believe my guilt and
my nightmares...where do I go to post- TOW?

If a WS pain is welcome and is deemed to have some merit-
why not mine?

I will dignify that with the respect it deserves.

S I L E N C E

It would be most interesting to read your story but alas your trail ends at 19 posts.

For instance I wonder:

1. Did your husband (or prior mate) recover from your betrayal?
2. Did the married man whom you were secretly meeting with have children?
3. How long did it take his wife to recover and move on?
4. How many years were they married?
5. How many years were you with your Ex?
6. Do you worry that your current husband might give second looks at other females?
7. Did your X try to save the relationship or marriage?
8. Did you try to save the relationship or marriage?
9. Do you desire to ever make amends for your deeds or is such action no longer relevant?
10. What is your position on the concept of “love” being an action and not a thing?
11. How long did it take for your relationship to sicken to the point of making infidelity an option to you?
12. Do you feel you current marriage is solid and why or why not?
13. How long did your act of infidelity last? Was it your first time?
14. Was it the married man’s first time?

As you have rationalized your behavior I have rationalized the reasons I have stayed married in the face of infidelity. I fear I have no room in my value system for your act and the way you have played it out, hence my questions. They will perhaps allow someone like me to understand someone like you. I may always find your behavior reprehensible as I understand the pain that accompanies infidelity. It is indeed a horror show without equal and that make you Jason as you have wielded the sword that cut out the heart of two relationships. Time does not change such a thing and despite your claims to the contrary you have carried the act of infidelity to its logical conclusion and left other’s to sweep up the destruction. You see, that makes you nothing like the many wayward spouses here who actively work on restoring their marriages. A person is judged based on their actions and your actions speak louder then your words. This is perhaps why so many here have no way to identify with course that you chose. Many others (other wayward spouses) took a different, nobler course. It is beyond my sight to see any good in your travels. You say there is another side to the coin but it does not seem apparent to me.

Mr. G

To add to Mr. G's questions:

- Do you raise you children to know adultery is wrong. And if so, how do you reconcile that with your affair-based marriage? Do as I say, not as I do?

- And if you haven't told your children thats how you and your husband started, do you plan to, or do you plan to ommit that very important piece of information?

For instance I wonder:

1. Did your husband (or prior mate) recover from your betrayal? I was single never married- no boyfriend. His
W has moved on and has remarried.
2. Did the married man whom you were secretly meeting with have children?
He had 2 grown children from his 1st marriage- none from
his second.
3. How long did it take his wife to recover and move on?
1.5 years would be my fairest guess.
4. How many years were they married?
10
5. How many years were you with your Ex?
I have no ex.
6. Do you worry that your current husband might give second looks at other females?
No. Please see prior posts if you require a more detailed
answer.
7. Did your X try to save the relationship or marriage?
I was not married.
8. Did you try to save the relationship or marriage?
see above.
9. Do you desire to ever make amends for your deeds or is such action no longer relevant?
I did and I did to the best of my ability.
10. What is your position on the concept of “love” being an action and not a thing?
I believe that real love is in many ways a job- you need to
show up every day and do the work. Loving is an action
word and it's no place for sissies.
11. How long did it take for your relationship to sicken to the point of making infidelity an option to you?
I was not in a relationship.
12. Do you feel you current marriage is solid and why or why not?
Yes, because of all the work we did to try and make amends
and receive the grace of our chuch. For some that will never
be enough and I'm sorry- but there it is.
13. How long did your act of infidelity last? Was it your first time?
Yes- it was my first infidelity, in fact at 30+ it was
my first sex. The affair last 3 months before he moved out-
another 3 months before he convinced his W to file for
divorce. The theory being that the cost of 1 lawyer was
less expensive then 2.
14. Was it the married man’s first time?
Yes. Unfortunately there relationship has been non-sexual
for nearly 6 years- his lack of desire not hers and lets
just say I know based on certain physical issues that this
was the truth.

- Do you raise you children to know adultery is wrong. And if so, how do you reconcile that with your affair-based marriage? Do as I say, not as I do?
Unfortunately my H has physical issues that impede my ability to have children. I would certainly not encourage
any children I might have had to engage in affairs.
Would you- having told lies in your life (just a guess)
encourage your children to tell lies?

- And if you haven't told your children thats how you and your husband started, do you plan to, or do you plan to ommit that very important piece of information?
see above.

Hi Pinky I am Peachy...and I don't find you peachy keen.

I don't relish the idea of an OW...a wistress...(my phrase and you can tell your little friends over on the pinkie board over there my cute little catchphrase for them!)...

My xh is married to the OW. And they have such a wonderous marriage..of 2.5 years...like YOURS! And he has NEVER BEEN FAITHFUL to her one day. Not one.

I don't care why you're here.

You didn't learn. You broke apart a family.

Scary part is Pinkie...when this happens...sometimes a phoenix is reborn from the ashes...a sad and once forlorn BS just like me...into a woman that makes most OW shake and cower in their fake Jimmy Choos...Yea...ME.

And I don't buy your crap honey. Not at all. I don't give apologies to wistresses who come here to legitimize their affair marriage...especially when there are families broken apart...children forever torn between mommy's week and daddy's weekend...you took part in that.

YOU TOOK PART IN THAT.

And whatever church denomination or church you're in...I DON'T WANT TO EVER JOIN.

My lines are drawn.

And you're presence here is damaging to those enduring the fight now...and they're FIGHTING FOR THEIR FAMILIES...FIGHTING TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUT OF THEIR HOMES...THEIR H'S OFFICES...THEIR H'S BEDS...

You really don't have much of a place here.

But I offer you this consolation...YOU'RE NOT ALONE...I learn and surf on "your board" too...learned alot of your cheapie ways. And I pass em' on here. Offline of course. I know many a BS whom I have armed with your insecurities...and you OW all are insecure...or else you wouldn't BE HERE RIGHT?

It's not "learning" you seek...It's something else. I suspect you're falling into a marriage(I use that term loosely) very much like my xh and the wistress'.

And remember...sometimes the BS just is reborn. And we get smarter...more saaavy...more bold...and hot! We eat women like you for lunch honey. I do each day.

Yea Pinky...LIFE IS A BANQUET...and I eat your girls for lunch every day....my new mission dearie!

Ask some of my friends here...I help plenty. Nobody wants a revamped and newly hot BS messing up their torrid little tarty affair! I take pride in doing that every day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

JustPeachy,
I don't fear you or anything you have to say...
You don't define me...you don't see my heart...vent your
own angers and hostilities with as much abandon as you like..
cause I know... God sees me...

And if God sees you...?

Does he see YOUR REPENTANCE AND YOUR TRUE CHOICES?

HE SEES YOU HERE..HE SEES YOU TRYING TO HURT PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING MORE THAN EVER IN THEIR LIVES.

He sees that honey. I see that.

Go back to your pink board. Be their solitary success story honey. If it's a success at all.

I think personally that a house built on quicksand will fall.

I have put you on ignore- I'd encourage you to recipicate.

peachy must have struck a pinky nerve