(sigh.. no, I didnt stay off here like I planned. oh well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> at least I'm feeling better about myself now...)

Question follows: our wedding anniversary is going to be in 3 weeks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
(9 years)

It'll be 1.5 months since official D-day, and since she moved out. she is completely non-cooperative about the potential for working on the marriage, wall up, and says things are "unfixable" between us. Presumably, she's still in contact with OM of her 6month EA, although less than before, now that she's at her mothers house.

I have just ordered Surviving an affair, His Needs Her Needs, and "Not just friends". I'm contemplating asking her if she would be willing to read one of them on our anniversary.

Which one would be best for her, in her current state? Any of them at all?

I'm guessing "Not just friends", since she claimed for almost the entire duration of the EA, that they were "just friends" [right up until she told him she loved him, and I found out. then she moved out]

thoughts?

Ws' don't read well. Comprehension requires logical use of the mind. WS' have no logic.

So for now, read those books for you. Gleen what you can and make the improvements you can. Then when she pokes her head out of the fog, you will be prepared.

Don't make the mistake of trying to teach a WS. They don't learn well. Just show by example that you are not being subjected to their confusion.

take care,
L.