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ok, take another deep breath
Start your exposure list.
Get everything together that you need: names, numbers, addresses, etc
Well, first off, do you plan to fight for this marriage?
Is that why you are exposing?
If this was your deal breaker, I belive the advice will be different.
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Last edited by star*fish; 07/26/06 12:19 PM.
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So even if he ended the affair....you don't want to work on the marriage right? Sounds like he was supposed to have ended the affair before. So this is the 2nd time around......maybe she had enough. *shrugs*
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Last edited by star*fish; 07/26/06 12:21 PM.
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SO,
I support her decision not to tolerate an ongoing affair!! But if the aim is "divorce" then "exposure" needs to be handled more carefully since it may be misinterpreted in court. I would rather she gathered information and proof....and used that information IN court to get her divorce....rather than using it prematurely to expose when she doesn't even want to remain married. Otherwise, I worry about how it's "spun" or twisted to make her look vindictive. So I was just checking....to understand her goals. Oh I understand totally, and agree. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Thanks grownup, for the grownup advice.
Starfish and StartinOver, also good questions and advice.
Deep breath.
Ok, I'm going to edit out anything I've put in that can help his cause, but I'll wait one more hour, so I can keep getting any advice you all have.
I had thought that divorce was the only way out, because I thought we had irreconcilable differences, not because he was banging the sl*t. Now, I still want a D, but I DON'T want to be so amicable about it.
HOW COULD HE BRING MY KIDS AROUND THIS LITTLE TRAMP?
Sorry, that was emotional, and now is not the time for emotion. My step dad just went in the hospital to remove a bunch of his colon--they found a huge tumor this morning. So mom is a mess, I can't share this with her. I'm just really, really bummed. We/I know you are very hurt and upset, but take it from a divorcee.......the best way to handle things is to be cool. My EX treated me like dirt before our divorce.....but as soon as I left her alone (except for the kids) she really flipped. I think that hurt her worse than anything. Even though I didnt intend to hurt her. She just saw that I was doing OK after all the crap she put me thru. So, just hand in there and be cool, and calm. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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So don't be amicable....go to the mattresses!! That means play it smart...don't tip your hand until you secure the finances, consider custody issues, get physical proof of his affair, and talk to your lawyer!! I'd be SPITTING mad!!! grrrrrrrrrrr How could he? Because he's messed up crack addict right now chere. (((((((((((((((((((((((ilf))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear about your dad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> When it rains it pours. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
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Post deleted by Dealan-de
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Can a mod delete this entire thread? If we have a blank thread, it's going to be a give-away too. And... what if everyone doesn't delete their posts?
I'm going back now and deleting everything. Everyone else, please do too.
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thanks again guys. i've started the purge. can you review your advice to me, and delete anything Newly WH Again (NWHA) might be able to use against me? Thanks.
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Keep on truckin! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Drucilla; 07/26/06 02:47 PM.
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