Hello Everyone, please forgive my stupid question, but I just found this site tonight and am really soaking in alot of advice so I decided to post a question to get everyone's insight since I can't find anything on the net about it.

While my then Fiance and I were courting, she was having multiple affairs with several men, and I caught her, she lied at first, but eventually came clean after all the drama, but I was so in love with her and still am very much. She severed ALL CONTACTS with these men and changed her telephone number, but she remains employed at the place she used as her launching pad for her affairs. We've since married and she has been very apologetic and alawys calls me everywhere she goes and she has really worked hard in helping me through these tough times, but one thing my wife loves to do is look at other men and see if they look at her, she tells me she is only glancing, but I catch her changing how she acts when other men are present. She always looks at men, she'll never glance at women or children, it's always men who easily gain her attention, she especially looks at them when they look at her, almost as if she is asking for attention.

Anyhow, is this common with women to look at other men, and I don't mean to glance. I've read somewhere that once a cheater always a cheater and has a 90% of doing it again.

Anyone's thoughts on flirting with the eyes?

Thank you so much everyone and God bless you...

I think you have the right to be concerned. I know that everyone looks but she doesn't have to be so obvious about it! I think that it's rather disrpectful of her to do it so right in your face so blatantly especially considering her past. You would think that she would do everything in her power to make you feel secure and comfortable. Instead it seems like her need for male attention is a higher priority than your need to feel secure in your marriage. Have you spoken with her about how her behavior makes you feel?

This need for male attention is a red flag. You need to ask her a very blunt question.

Was she ever sexually abused as a child?

This is important. Her behavior is very typical of someone who needs that attention from men in order to feel validated. She absolutely must go to counceling to get this resolved or you will certainly face an affair and likely divorce in the future. I didn't find this out about my now ex W until after our divorce. You MUST find this out now.

My ex W is doing just that and going out with many different men. No, it is not normal, especially once you're married.

Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it very much! I have spoken to her about this problem, and she says she is correcting it, however in my opinion you either fix something or you don't! There is no ands ifs or buts, either do or do not. Anyhow, she seems to always have excuses for what she does and I'm getting burned out with her excuses...thanks again Almondeyes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Papaof3, I agree with your assesment about my wife, indeed she was abused, you hit the nail on the head! I am trying to get her to seek counseling, but she keeps postponing her appts. and like I mentioned to Almondeyes, I am getting burned out over this whole situation, I don't need this, it is much too stressful, I don't go to friends' BBQ's with her because I can't trust her, I only go to family functions because this is the only place I know where I'm safe from predators, I'm just fed up and tired...

Thank you so much for your reply.

AIRWOLF