I haven't been here in a long time, but I need everyone's help...I will make this as short as possible. Short history...H having an affair for 3 years, I just found out in April, he told her and all his friends we were already divorced. Our daughter has been involved with them since she was 2-3 months old.<P>My H and I are still not divorced - it is in the works. Yesterday I was on my way to church and saw a car that looked like OW's. Turns out it was her - the only way I knew that is because she had my 2 1/2 yr. old daughter in her car!!!!!!!!!! I followed her. When she got to where she was going I pulled in behind her and got out. I told her it was nice to finally meet my H's mistress. I told her that he would do this to her. She said he hasn't done anything to me. I told her yes he has, he slept with me last Christmas. She said he was with her. She told me that he said we have been separated for 4 years. Give me a break. I just laughed. Then she said...well, for three years. I was like whatever. I told her she was getting the booby prize and if she wouldn't take my warning that he is a liar then whatever happens to her is her own fault. Then...when my H brought our D home last night she came with him. She got out of the car with her short shorts on and her mid-driff top - gag me! She is 21 and he is 31. I am trying to do Plan b so my sis went out and got my D from him. She told him he was a lying, cheating, adulterous basturd. (can I say that on here?) The girl is so niave. Everyone tells me that it won't work for them - because he is obviously still lying to her. <P>I am totally upside down today. I have been praying a lot. It is making me crazy.

Gosh, I would hate seeing my daughters in the OW's car...it sounds like you handled it okay...the OW is still alive and not bleeding (I still have visions of blood & mayhem when it comes to the OW)<P>I find myself wondering, when the spouse is lying to the OP, they are setting a behavioral pattern in that relationship that will be as hard to break as any pattern. She's in trouble, she's just too young (ICK!!) to know it. Most religions have a "you reap what you sow", "karma", "threefold return" message within them--that is because it is true...<P><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

What a horrible experience to live through.<P>I guess next time you see your husband, you could apologize for LB's but, only if you feel like it.<P>And I would gather any evidence of your relationship with your husband (pictures, etc.), and photo copy them - and give OW a copy to PROVE to her that she is in love with a liar. <P>Maybe I wouldn't, but I would sure think about it.<P>3 years is a long time. What else do you know about OW?<BR>

Mrs. -<P>What do you mean by "three years is a long time?" <P>To answer your question about OW - I know she has been away at college most of the time this has been going on. I sent her a letter when I found out about this to tell her we are still married and that I just found out about her. Actually I got pregnant with my daughter when their affair was brand new. My H told me about her then and swore this whole time it was over until I found out by chance from a co-worker of mine that is her relative - long story - that it was not over. That he gave her a ring, they had a first bday party for our daughter, etc. Anyway, she left him the day she got my letter. But he lied his way out of all of it and they were back together within 2 days. She is in denial.<P>My H is divorcing me because I sent that letter to her. I have no regrets about the letter or the confrontation yesterday.

Dear PR:<BR>I would just let him go, because 3 years of having an affair is along time and who needs to put up with that??? he is still lying to you and lying to her. If he was a decent man, he would have never done this to you. But even so, if he was really sorry than I would tell you to try and work it out. But, it seems to me that he care for himself and what he wants and forget about what the most important thing is suppose to be...you. Don't put up with him any longer. Good for you that you confronted her, but, really since she is only 21 years old, she isn't going to believe a word you say because he has snowed her big time. This is probably her first real love with an older man and will probably do whatever he wants. He can worm his way back into her life at anytime because she is toonaive to think anything else about him. He will end up doing her in also just like he did you..but, that 's not your problem. Unfortunetly, the both of you have a daughter. This is a tough one. I would be civil with him but I personally would not take him back. What is this showing your daughter???That it's o.k. to have a man cheat on you all the time and treat you with disrespect? I don't think that you want to teach your daughter this type of thing. There are plenty good men out there. For the sake of your daughter, though, try not to fight with him in front of her and try not to bad mouth him in front of her. If he is the snake he is, she will get to know that for herself when she is old enough.

Hello Old Friend -<P>I have missed you and prayed that you have not been around because things had possibly gotten better.....<P>Guess not.....<P>I'm so sorry that you had to see your D in OW's car .....that has to be the worst - I couldn't imagine!!<P>He is still choosing to be immature and, quite frankly, let her deal with it. She will learn!!<P>I know that is no consolation....I do believe that in his current state you are better off without his childishness.<P>I will keep praying that he sees himself for the fool that he has become one day!! You're a great person and stay strong with your Plan B.<P>It's in God's hands....he will not let you fall!!<P>HUGS and Strength,<P>Sheba<P>PS - EMail if you want!! <BR>