Let's refer to OW as TF for short

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pep

I like it! Should we start calling Tool: Toe? At least it's shorter.

Actually, I was thinking that "FOOLman" is a better name for him!!

Nah. Toolman is just fine.

He IS being a tool...I told my girlfriend her wh was being one recently....a tool like a toilet plunger or toilet snake...not a cool tool like a table saw or a router...

- Kimmy

Sad to say, toolman read this thread and thinks we're all nutz. He says you make no effort to see both sides and give radical advice. He says you are acting like this is a video game. He says anything he says will be called Fog/Babble. Funny, he used to understand the principles, but I guess no more.

toeman

How amusing....since MY marriage was saved.....utilizing this video game's radical advice.

And MY wh did/said everything the Toeman is doing and saying....right down to all the froggy things he did/said with OW...and the OW predictably got preggers...twice.

But I don't know squat about it...nah...haven't btdt at all.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Oh, and I've listened to the other side of it. Took it into account...then threw it out with the rest of the garbage.

I was thinking Stoolman...

self-explainatory.

krk

Stonecold,

I am sorry to see you endure this difficult sitch, I hope it gets better soon. My dad was accused of child abuse by an unstable teenage boy that had a thing for my younger sister. A councelor called her to the office in HS and had to look at her back as this kid said she was beaten with a belt. Of course there wasn't anything there, we weren't beaten. My dad was devasted by having to go through this. My younger sister was the baby, apple of his eye and he would never, ever, do this. This kid stalked her and played hang-up phone games (before caller ID). Sad thing was, this teenager was really messed up, came from a messed up family. My younger sister was probably nice to him in passing and he attached himself to her. Anyway, if I remember correctly, the charges still remain there, even if they are false.

I would consider this as seriously as you can. I would suggest you consider Plan B for you and your kid's sake. I wouldn't send him any pictures or answer his calls. Anything you say to him could be twisted against you. I would suggest you consider yourself and your family under attack. This means, he should not come over and make pancakes, even if the kids like him to, because that is your home and he is no longer welcome. I don't mean you have to say horrible things to him, fight and argue as if it were a war, but be on the defensive and protect yourself and the kids, that is your no. 1 priority, not their relationship with their dad. Make sure your relationship with them will be sustained, let him worry about his own relationship with them.

I see that you left when he came over, which is good, but you might want to consider having them p.u. and dropped off at at third party's house. It must be that you care about him on some level, but it is an abusive situation that you are in IMHO.

I hope and pray it all works out for your kids and your best interest.

Thanks for the advice, NabOhio, I am probably making a huge mistake. Sort of like I didn't kick him out on the first affair, I wanted to give him a chance to prove himself. Now, I'm giving him one chance to prove he truly means what he says about wanting what's best for the kids. If he screws me on this, I will feel stupid, but he will have shown that he is morally bankrupt on all levels. Not sure which is better.

Orchid: So from his POV, what should a MM NOT do?


Orchid: No not 'anything', we can tell the difference between truth and 'fog babble'. Didn't he learn that before?

Toolman, u disappoint me. You choose to lose what smarts you had for what? To justify a failure? Is that A so precious to you that you are willing to give up all for a moment of loose pants?

Listen that OW and any OW will get old fast. Even OM's (if you swing that way) will get old. Know Y? Because the thrill of the A and the sex ain't all it is cut up t/b. It isn't worth an ounce of what your family is worth. In fact, your family's daily trash is more valuable than the height of any A.

Fog babble? Go tape your convos and see what you call the stuff spewing out of your mouth. Go ahead...... see if you can stomach hearing what u r babbling. I doubt it. If you like the taste of the A vomit, then that is what you should eat but don't give that crap to your family. You s/b willing to eat A vomit and give your family a nice home with good food and security.

Don't forget to lick the plate. OW dishes up that A vomit for EVERY meal.

L.

Just another hour and a half, and I'll have survived a 9-year old girls' sleepover party!!! Then I can get down to business, start moving things in the D direction.

I told Tool we need to start working up the division of assets, but he keeps saying we need to deal with the emotional side, first. I say the emotional side will take years to figure out, let's just be done with this disrespecting BS, and end my worrying about this DCF allegation. Otherwise, I HAVE to pursue the frivolous allegation, which will result in a felony against my children's father. I'd like to avoid that, but I will do what I have to do.

I'll keep you updated.

Just more of the same ol' $hit. Toolman scheduled an appt for me to meet with the MC by myself (I guess to talk thru my anger and bipolar issues) and then went and scheduled an appt for him to meet with a lawyer in the hour just before. He PROMISED he'd be home. He's not.

Ok, after an abbreviated MC appt, here's what I've got. Tool told MC he is "sorry" for what happened (again).

What does that mean to me? It means that Tool is SORRY for getting CAUGHT. He was having the time of his life with little chickadee, and I had to go and RUIN it by cancelling the credit cards.

Told Tool I was gonna hold the checkbooks until I was sure he wasn't clearing out any accounts, and he acted indignant. Why can't you trust me? He asks.

Ugh. He just blew $225 on a consult with a lawyer, and I'm supposed to ~trust~ him. He just blew our marriage, and family $$ on the little tramp, and I'm supposed to ~trust~ him. (I'm getting tired of saying ugh. Someone help me out here.)

[color:"red"] UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! [/color] [color:"green"] BLECHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! [/color] [color:"blue"]BLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

Is that better? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Neak, given your status as a professional writer, I defer to your expert opinion!

A lot of criminals are real sorry they went to jail.

Bwaaaaaa!!!

That's why I didn't even have to run 'ugh' through the thesaurus to come up with synonyms.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MC says there aren't many men in their 40's who could resist a PYT throwing her PYT in their face. Says many married men would do the same thing tool did. Says that doesn't make it right, but....


She'll do anything to keep us together, IMO. Kinda like a doctor not wanting a mortality on his record.

Yes, but will toolman do anything to keep you together?

It's kind of out of the therapist's hands at this point. At some point, she just has to accept that TM had a death wish - and this mortality was not of her making/choosing, etc - unless she keeps up with the crap that 20 year old nymphos are irresistable. To real men those girls are girls - not women - not attractive in the sense that a real man wants! A real man wants a real woman!

I think the therapist cuts him a bit too much slack - and like an enabling mother has a wayward son on her hands as a result! At some point the "wrongness" of it all should make him feel incestuous - if he was a real man...