Temporarily? Permanently? I dunno.

We all think so clearly when we think our marriages are going well, dont we? We give advice to the other forum members, think rationally and hope they listen. Then when the crap hits the fan for ourselves, we become blubbering fools again, to hurt by our spouses to think clearly.

So I found that my wife recently looked at this website dedicated to/by the family of the OM (former other man). Did she contact him personally, I dunno, maybe not. But the site was hidden, erased from the computer and my keylogger picked it up. Stange coincidence that she was horrible depressed and mean to me yesterday eh (same day)?

I called and asked about this site, very openly and without anger. She immediately told me I was 'obsessed'. I have a problem she says. She says she did it to prove that I was still not trusting her.... huh? You know I didn't buy that one.

Is the affair up again? No. Does she even want to be back with him. I dont think so. Yet for some reason she continues to foster a sense of mistrust, and blames me for not trusting her. After more than a year of the ****** she put me through, I'm ready for a safer place.

I packed a bag. It's here next to me while she takes our son to the doctor for a routine checkup. I think I'll leave for the night... at least. I'm not so sad.... and that's the saddest thing about this isn't it...?

I'll be back at work tomorrow. That's where I usually post from anyway. Update you guys then.

sundog

I know exactly what you mean. Yes, that is the very worst thing of all.

The web site though, that must have huge significance to her even if she did not realize it. Not exactly NC.

((((((((((((((sundog)))))))))))))))

Sorry to hear this happening.

Wish I could give you advice, but I'm on my way to D probably, so I don't know how much help I can give you.

Just try and hang in there and remember there are people here who care.

CG

"I'm not so sad.... and that's the saddest thing about this isn't it...?"

Sundog - I am soooo sorry. I feel the same. That is the problem with this stuff going on and on and on.

Please take care of yourself. Prayers to your family.

Sundog,

Sorry to hear the bad news.

The part of not being sad isn't the saddest thing. It can actually be a turning point.

Last night I couldn't sleep. For the first time in three years it wasn't about the A and the lies.

It was because I was actually thinking about a D and I was at peace.

Usually when I wake up after a night like that well after 3am before I fell asleep. I wake up tired and iratable. FWW gets worried. Today I woke up refreshed and feeling good.

The reason being I finally got to the point where I feel like I have tried the best I could. I have given her plenty of chances. I am relieved of my INTERNAL OBLIGATION to keep trying at this M.

I think it is a turning point for me. The willingness now to walk out the door. Not being sad because I have done enough.

I am not saying you should get a D. I am not saying I am getting a D. I am saying if it happens for me I will be ok with myself, that I gave it all I can and it didn't work out.

For that feeling I am grateful.

sundog

My prayers are with you and your family.
You were the first person on this site to welcome me in and I will never forget that.

It ment so much to me then and it still does.

So far my journey has not taken me in the same direction as you are going right now.

Please remember all of the advice and help you have given to others.

I can't offer much except my respect for your efforts and my friendly ear to listen.

Stay strong and true to yourself.

Blind

Sundog,

This is your home and your family. Not the family of a WS. re: WS' don't have families.

Don't leave. Make it uncomfortable for the WS but safe for your W.

L.

I am in agreement with Orchid, SD. You may just be seeing a momentary glimpse of the WS but make your home safe for your son and your W.

Has she ever gone to IC or done any true self examination about the whys of the A?