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I like your way of thinking, Shaden and decided I should tell you that.
Although Just Jilly did not come here with physical wounds, she came here crying for help with emotional wounds.
If we say she deserved what she got, then we all deserve the same. "For we all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
Instead she was told (first post of the justjilly thread)
"she really had no place here"
Oh well, when she returns from vacation she can defend herself! (If she wants to.) please discuss this issue on your thread ... because that is YOUR chosen topic, it's not mine MY topic is .... ME .... how do I figure out what I am willing to do when this confusing and emotional dilemma presents it's self? thanks . . . . . . . . . . . . . PS ~~~> I don't actually mind if you post here .... but , because you were instantly HOSTILE to me on your thread ... I was experimenting a little bit.... POST FREELY the platform is yours too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Pepperband; 07/29/06 12:32 PM.
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and if it helped YOU Shaden I am <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> What has helped me the most, Pep, was being able to continue on without getting defensive or angry and running away... like what almost happened. To do so and realize that each of the other points of view are valid is a step for me. I don't have the answers, and I certainly don't mean any disrespect to any here. Regardless of the decision by the W's, they are still tops in my book. Tomorrow, I could possibly turn around and argue the other side (although hopefully do a better job than I did arguing this side). I don't feel any one has to help JJ or someone else in their situation (and part of me feels the same way about not helping her)... but I am throwing out some reasons to explain why I may choose to offer assistance... not because I condone her A and M... but because I believe help can be given now. One last kick, Mel... others on this forum have shared their Christian view that an A Marriage, left unrepentant, is continuing in sin. If that is true... then isn't watching someone head to a life in he!! the ultimate in physical wounds (depending on your belief of he!!, of course). But, of course, we are not ministers or pastors, therefore have no obligation to help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (Please don't respond to this argument... I know it's lame.) Once again, sorry Pep for losing your original idea on this post. I hate when people do that and I did it to you. I'm finished arguing now... for real this time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Shaden
Last edited by Shaden; 07/29/06 12:33 PM.
BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.
Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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We need to nuke Canada sooooooooooooooooo BAD!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Once again, sorry Pep for losing your original idea on this post. I hate when people do that and I did it to you. I'm finished arguing now... for real this time. pointless apology accepted <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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I'm not really upset that Mel is disagreeing with me... sometimes you have to talk a little longer and slower to those from Texas. They're still working on how to pass our Sr. Citizens in the big cars. Can't you at least send ones that can see over the DASH??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We gotta grow them small up here so we can fit in our igloos!!!
BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.
Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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bwahahahaaa! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Just in case I just posted one of my whacky posts causing you guys to think "er.. what's her point?"
My point was that I refuse to add to anyone's pain and agony.
I will not kick someone who is already down.
If I think an OP or OP in M with A partner, whatever, is in desperate need for help (read: suicidal) and I'm the only one who can help (because of time zone differences, that can happen)...
Of course I will help.
And when he/she's up and running again...
And my gut feeling is telling me she/he's in the fog..
I'd "refer" her/him.
Maybe this is a BS's thing (though some FWS have voiced similar feelings) - somewhat like the rape victim analogy.
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Never mind Mel, Shaden... To a Texan, everyone living outside Texas is a silly furriner.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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Never mind Mel, Shaden... To a Texan, everyone living outside Texas is a silly furriner.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> this could be true! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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However, if a doctor leaves a patient to bleed to death on the floor, he is a murderer. Mel, You are right that this doctor scenario cannot be used as a parallel example. First and foremost, doctors are held to a higher standard because of their training and oath. No one on this site can even begin to be held to that. So, it is like comparing apples and oranges. Won't fly. Also, if there is some kind of "obligation" to help those that come here asking for help...then everyone would HAVE to respond to EVERY post out there asking for help. We all get to pick and choose which ones we respond to. We all have different reasons for responding also. Some people can relate to one situation...others to another. I have nothing to give to some posts other than "what made you think you were any different once you were the wife and no longer the OW....what did you expect....you left a vacancy to be filled...he filled it." jmho committed Editing to add: Even when a doctor comes upon an accident site he is held to a higher standard to help than a common layperson. If, per chance, the accident victim does not survive, he cannot be sued ...it's called "The Good Samaritan Law". Surviving family wouldn't even think of suing a common person for "helping"...but they would a doctor because of the higher level they are held to. At least, I think that is how it works....but I've been feeling a bit dense lately...so I might be wrong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by committedandlovi; 07/29/06 01:01 PM.
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Just a little note to Pepperband amongst all the discussion today ~~ Thank you. My respect comes right back at'cha for the same reason. PS: You often crack me up, too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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NBII .... if you're ever in LA give me a call lunch is on me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Pep
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PS.... I'm MUCH funnier in person!
you?
Pep
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Not to mention.... BRAZEN & BOLD!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> She grabbed a total stranger in the restaurant, hugged & kissed her and invited her to join our MB group. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> (She thought she was a lost MBer!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Why are your senior citizens all 4'8"????? Can't ya grow em bigger?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Hey, stop talkin' about me!!! LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'm slightly taller than that but not by much and closer to that senior age than not, next will probably be me having a senior moment - YIKES!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> All fun aside, I find your discussion quite interesting. I'd like to add my $.02 but respect this is Pep's thread. So this shortie is gonna spend the take cooking a turkey no less. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Why? Because it is taking too much space in my freezer and it's a food my mom can eat well. Good thing I don't have to dig a hole and fill this bird with hot lava rocks. LOL!!! But if I did, could you send a case of that beer? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Have a nice day! L.
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WAY OT, but since this thread has already breached other OT stuff - "You are about to delete a scheduled transaction to <XW>. Are you sure you want Quicken to permanently delete this scheduled transaction?" YES, YES, YES!!!! (Last child support payment) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT
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WAY OT, but since this thread has already breached other OT stuff - "You are about to delete a scheduled transaction to <XW>. Are you sure you want Quicken to permanently delete this scheduled transaction?" YES, YES, YES!!!! (Last child support payment) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT Sounds like a reason to celebrate!!! L.
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Pep, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> PS: I routinely crack myself up and laugh myself to tears. Probably not a good sign that I'm often alone when it happens -- occasionally after a shower (Note to self: Remove the full-length mirror next to tub)
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I realize this is a question that cannot be answered by anyone other than Lemonman... but did Lemonman help the OM simply because of his oath...(out of fear) or because of his beliefs. I would be happy to answer that question. I did what I did because.........drumroll.......it is what I am trained to do. In reality, it was not really a decision I had to make. There was a man who was going to die, and he was gonna do this quickly if someone did not do something. The reality is that I have intervened (helped save) on some of the worst human beings this world can offer (drunk drivers who have killed families, spousal abusers, criminals stabbed in jail, drug dealers, etc....I don't make the moral decision to ever save a life....it is my job, my oath to do so. I don't want anyone to think that I did something miraculous or that I am just such a good guy.....I am not. I did what I did because it was my job. In hindsight it was a potentially career ending decision (many legal and ethical problems), and I am lucky it went as it went. Would I do it again? Yes...It is what I do. almost akin to a plumber fixing a clogged drain...only difference is he makes more for that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Lem
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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