God has a funny way of holding our feet to the fire ....

you are so right on!

Pep

Hi Jo,

Yes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. I know, I think of her now and again... and it always breaks my heart.

I would assume that the reception she received would have given her a reason to think about her own position. I didn't read what was said to her, but I can guess some of the message.

The controversy and discussion will also be a help if she returns... she can see the dilemma we are in, but more importantly, it gives us a chance to ponder our own responses so they will not just be said in reaction... but with sensitive foresight.

anything else that I'm not seeing???

Shaden

Same here, I think of her also. I think of how long she held onto the hurt. There are times what she went thru reminds me this isn't a rehearsal.

Thanks NB... you are right. My automatic and immediate reaction was, "why can't we help". But sometimes giving help can be more harmful. I need to go back and pull back the layers to get to what I truly do believe.

Shaden

... or alter what I believe.

... or maybe stand firm in what I believe.

But it isn't black and white.

Shaden

Jo,

I have to run, but wanted to say this: Tania's story would almost be worth reciting here (and I, in fact, had begun to type it and changed my mind)... it is the worst kind of affair story... with an ending to match.

I guess this is one of the reasons I always try to see all sides to a situation, despite my pain. I am not always successful... woefully unsuccessful, sometimes... but Tania, in her short life, showed me something about humanity... and probably not what she expected. I can (at this moment) feel her pain... and hope, like you, that she is finally (FINALLY) in peace.

One of the interesting things about being around here for so long, eh, Jo? We've seen so much...

Hugs, my friend.

that's pretty much it Shaden .... controversy about infidelity is a fact of life ... her reality ... if she's going to ~get real~ with herself .... she's going to need to learn how to handle criticism

just like the rest of us

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

going back to my original post about the neo-nazi...



I was thinking

if he went to speak to a group who did not 100% receive him warmly ...

I think he's understand that his past activities and past hatefulness has earned him some life-time disrespect from certain people, who, (for their own reasons) find themselves UNable to tolerate being around him

I suspect he'd understand that it is his job to make others feel comfortable around him rather than their job to make him feel comfortable !

I just thought of this

Pep <~~~ a little slow sometimes

It might be reasonable to extrapolate

that it is JJ's responsibility

to make others who have been victims of an affair marriage

feel comfortable around her ...


and NOT

visa-versa !!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Thoughts?

Pep

I've been wanting to get back to something TA said:




especially this :

I wonder how many people manage to get through their whole lives suppressing those prods of conscience.

I think this is what made JJ run & hide ....

a rather LARGE prod of conscience she could NOT ignore !!!!

It's GOOD FOR HER to feel UNcomfortable

it would be inspiring if she could profoundly change her thinking

tick-tock

all of us will be ashes some day ... and God holds our feet to the fire in ways we wish He would not !!!

Pep <~~~ burned feet

More .... from TA .... and I quote;




the work of

awakening

is intriguing

..... in fact ... this has something to do with the soul & the fog ....

more thinking to do .....

hmmmmmmmmmmm

Pep <~~~ too much caffeine?

YES
Mulan

Remember our girl

FaithInMe

well .... Dork's now married the OW (poor girl)

and because he was (IS) a life-style adulteror

I would NOT be surprized if she shows up here on MB one day whining about how Dork can't keeps his pants up & zipped around other women !

probably she'll have a few kids by that time too.

sad

just
sad


Pep

Hi Pep,
It pains me that you wrote this about me- given what you
had written before. Is there some reason you have changed
your mind about me?

O~~~

Pink and I have some history of conversations previously (years ago) where I gave her my honest opinion that she was still functioning with the "OW mentality" when it comes to marriage.

I see a change in her, something I think is worthy of my respect for her effort to make the self-adjustments necessary to have a real MB marriage, as opposed to a marriage more akin to the spirit of an OW married to a MM.... if you see what I mean.

Pep

it may pain you to know

I don't respect TOW

and what it represents

I went onto TOW just a few days ago ... just to read & see if my "yukky meter" was accurate

I spent about 2 hours looking around

there is most definately an OW mind-set

and I believe staying on that site is detrimental to any marriage

including yours
including Starfish's

and including mine if I were so foolish as to visit that site often!

it's akin to a person trying to stay sober by hanging out in bars

I realize that you will probably say that you are helping others by advising them to get out of their affair... and perhaps that is true.

I am saying it is possibly (probably) at your own peril .... the site functions because the majority of it's members are non-marriage-minded adulterors .... NOT discussing the principles of marriage... NOT respectful of marriage .... and not mindful of the life-long damage adultery invites ... generational hurting in many cases

It pains me to say ... I think that site has been detrimental to Starfish as well ... but for reasons other than yours.

I understand how people can get themselves into messy affairs ... what I do not understand is why they remain in a group of sick-thinking individuals once they have extradited themselves from an affair?

I think you feel comfortable at TOW because the views about marriage being "disposable" from the OW's point of view has worked to your advantage. It has to !!! That view allowed you to marry your affair husband & dispose of the other wife ...

Your presence as a married woman who made her adultery work for her sends a pro-adultery marriage for thousands of women hoping to follow in your footsteps...

Correct me if I am wrong. If I am wrong ... why TOW membership?

Thanks

Pep

Pep,
I haven't been on TOW in many, many months. I don't know
why you think I have. Back when I did post there- there was a MOW (Married Other Woman)on there also named Paige
but that is not me.
Unless that is the reason you feel I've been an active
poster on TOW, I still don't understand your change of
heart towards me. And I am sorry that you feel that way,
because I don't feel I have done or said anything to
deserve it.

I thought you were still posting on TOW

my apologies paige

WOW Pep - I think you've nailed it.