Thanks for the support. I do feel much more attractive. I am taking care of myself, doing my hair and makeup and basically just feeling better about myself everyday. I get plenty of attention from my dates and I don't doubt that they find me attractive. At first, I was shocked. What would anyone see in me? I made sure that I posted recent pics on my dating site and I was as honest as I could possibly be about myself. Imagine my surprise when I got dates and more dates. It was definately a nice ego boost. Now I am hoping for more. I want the whole package. But, I will not push it. If I am meant to be with someone, it will happen.

I am beginning to get past this divorce junk. I don't feel that extreme anger any longer. I just have this residual sadness about what should have been. My kids are still having issues with their dad. My DD15 isn't speaking to him unless absolutely necesary. My oldest just uses him as a ride to wherever he wants to go. The youngest just goes with the flow. I don't really know what to do about that, or if I should do anything. I am leaning toward just supporting the kids and letting their dad do the work necesary to repair the relationships. I feel sorry for my kids because they are missing out on something important. My stbxh is so completely clueless that he doesn't even seem to realize what he's missing. It's pretty pathetic how he has been so willing to lose the love and respect of his kids for the arms of his SOW.

Otherwise, I am hanging in just fine. I struggle with the occasional thing but I am trying to be what I need to be.

TTYL,
Loni

Loni - hi I will be divorced four years in September - dont date at all want to but I think I am now ok with the fact that it is ok to just be a parent... now if everyone else could understand that - then life would be ok... My ex slept with my next door neighbor.. then we all got divorced all the while denying the whole entire thing - it was very ugly for a very long time - about 6 months ago they broke up - and of course he had a new girlfriend within two weeks... though he doesn't get along with her kids - really doesnt' have much to do with my kids - I mean my kids talk to him and joke with him when it is necessary or like you said they need him for a ride or something.. but they know on who they can depend.. I have struggled years and years trying to make their relationship with their father a wonderful one - but just recently I have accepted the fact that - ok he is their dad and in his own way he loves them - but it is easier for him to just sit back and talk when they want to talk and let me raise them.. and let me tell you that was a hard one for me to swallow - but I know that I cannot make their relationship... they may have been young when he left at 8 and 11 - now at 13 and 16 - (girls) they were never stupid and they have lost all respect for him... I actually get along with him quite well now it is like a cloud has been lifted since he doesnt' go out with the W*ore next Door - *(I love the fact we all have these cute little names) - anyways I guess what I was trying to say is - that really and truly there is no way we can make the relationship between the kids work... sad but true... my girls know that I will be there for them or do anything for them.. and I also always tell them that their dad would to though I know they don't believe that.. I don't bad mouth him at all - though I am sure I have at some point... But we just have to let it play out - Remember they are the ones loosing out - the fathers because we have great kids I am thinking.... and they will turn out ok cuz they have us... Now on to the men - where the heck do you live?? cuz where are you finding them all????

My divorce was final on 9/1. Whoo hoo. I felt such a relief but at the same time, I felt sad. I know that you all understand.

I am still having issues with the ex and the Homewrecker. That is my new name for the Skanky Other Woman. I call them the Idiot and the Homewrecker. I keep that to myself though when around the kids.

I am dating someone I met on Eharmony. He is going through the same junk as I am. His wife moved the other man in as soon as he moved out. Luckily, we have so much more to talk about than our marriages. I really like him and he seems to really like me. However, I am learning from the last relationship that I need to go slowly. Let's just say that we both have our emergency brakes on.

I am keeping the house. That was another major issue. I love the house and helped design it. Selling it was going to really hurt. Now, I will give the XH his money and still live at home. The kids are thrilled.

Maw... I am on dating sites. I wouldn't know how to even begin dating otherwise. I can't imagine hooking up with someone at church. I just don't picture church as the hook-up spot. The grocery store... I don't think so. I really like to have an idea of what a guy is like before I invest any time into dating him. The dating sites really allow me to get to know someone before I ever meet him. If you want to try, I really think that Match.com and Yahoo personals are good. Of course, eharmony is great but you don't usually get a huge selection of guys unless you are willing to date long distance.

Dating is fun and I know that a lot of people are really against doing it until a long time after the divorce. I think that I went through so much and for so long (2 1/2 years) that I am ready. I could be wrong but so far I feel good about my choices.

Loni

HI LONI.....

just be VERY careful of the "rebound"....Lord knows i know this....otherwise....good for you!!!

ITS ABOUT TIME!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I don't know about this whole dating thing. I feel like I am back in High school. Either, you really like them, or they really like you. Finding a nice match is not so easy. What do you all think? Maybe I am just too picky.

Loni

Hey Loni,

Good to here from you!

You are NOT being to "picky". Keep those standards high!

The "right" person is out there waiting to meet you...

.... and will probably find you when you've stopped looking.


Good Luck. Give us a call sometime. We'd love to catch up!

Hi WTF,

I am ready to stop looking. The past few dates, I have really looked forward to just being home alone.

Nice to hear from you WTF. How's the family? I'm doing fine, just rebuilding my life.

Loni

Hi there,

I'm doing pretty well here. My kids are all busy with school and activities. They seem to be coping but my daughter has told me that she hates that her dad and I are divorced. I don't blame her. I miss being married and having my family whole, myself. I wouldn't take her dad back if he came with a million dollars, but I miss what should have been very much.

I just wanted to post and wish everyone a very happy holiday. May all your hearts feel real joy this year and may 2007 beat the stink out of 2006. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Loni

Hey Loni!

Good to here from you! Any plans for the Holidays? New traditions?

I'm sorry that DD is taking the D so hard. DD doesn't need any extra stress on her at that age.

Happy Holidays to you also! I'm hoping that we'll get a chance to catch up soon!

Stay Strong!

Hi there WTF. I did really well over the holidays. My DD had a hard one on Christmas when the OW showed up at her dad's family get together. She called me crying but was afraid to leave in case family members got mad at her. I cried too just because my girl was hurting. I wish I could fix this for her but, of course, I can't. I spent New Years with friends and played euchre till 2 am.

How was your holiday and your family?

Loni