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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 158
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 158 |
My H and I are divorcing. I can't see us going back. I've tried for 18 months for him to see the value in us, to ask that we both forgive each other for our mistakes and poor judgement.
Anyway, I'm accepting the fact that we are through. But today I know he is with his ex-wife and I'm feeling very bothered by that fact. He's told me all kinds of lies about the nature of their relationship, and then he tells the truth and the truth is - they are engaged in an initimate relationship and that they are "being kind" to each other, having fun and just enjoying each other.
My H is a very troubled person, secret life, addictions etc. Why do I care about what he's doing and with whom? How can I control this terrible feeling of inadequacy and jealousy?
Me - far from a perfect person - but trying to improve all the time
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
It helps when you realize that his choices are not necessarily about you. Maybe you aren't inadequate? Maybe his head is messed up. JUST AS YOU SAID.
Jealousy - ah, that is tougher. If he is a troubled person, has a secret life, has addictions, are you sure you want him around unless he works on those issues?
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 158
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Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 158 |
Yes, I can intellectually decide that no - I really don't want to be around him and that all of his behaviors indicate that he will never address his problems. I just wish I had a magic wand that would take all of these feelings away.My whole life - I've always been so slow to make changes and I always go kicking and screaming. This is no different I'm afraid.
Me - far from a perfect person - but trying to improve all the time
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