WH lost job on july 1,o6. his A was at his work. (The layoff was not for affair.)He said he was getting on with his life and A was over. I have been working plan A since April 20th,o6. We were doing everthing together, tennis every morning, lunch, life, sex, talking etc.24X7. He also has been going on interviews. We have no money so everything we did was without money. This kinda through us into the same boat. While playing tennis yesterday, I noticed him walking back from the bathroom as I was playing with other team. He was messing with his pocket.This alerted me to keep watching him. While he was playing I looked in his tennis back and found another cell phone that had been pre-paid. I took it out to the car and listened to the messages from OW. Why haven't you called me or e-mailed me. after the tenth message. She said thank-you for meeting me and talking. I confronted quietly stating unless you write her a no-contact letter and get rid of the pre-paid cell phone, we will have to move on. Help me we both barely have the rent for this month. I can go to friends or daughters house to live and write N/C letter but our rental is in both our names and the lease is up Dec. Do I walk, and try to pay to keep credit, stay and try and maintain more plan A or just plan B it. someone talk to me through these tears.....

I am home alone and WH is out with his children (second marriage for both )he has a 12year old D, 7year old son. I chose to stay home cuz I'm so upset. I love these kids and have been very involved for 5 years. My children are 30,27, 25. They want me to be happy but don't like me staying in this life as I am so stressed all of the time. someone who is reading pleae answer.

i'm so very sorry that your H is continuing to have contact with the OW.

you have come to a great place to get help in finding out what you can do next.

my H also ended his affair....for 8 months-and i thought things were getting better...then he started seeing the OW again

my situation only got worse....he moved out and is now living with the OW

but i haven't given up hope.....although i have my moments!

i still love him and believe that we belong together.....so i used plan A....then plan B and now i am waiting out the "2 years since the affair saw the light of day" as recommended by Jennifer harley

i know that it's slow here on weekends but i'm sure that others will give you some good advice

i don't have much to offer except to say that i understand how you feel and i am right here with you

great smile, will he send the nc letter? If think if he won't you might have to take a hard look at Plan B very soon here. But you would want to expose the affair first.

Did you take the phone with you? Is this OW married?

I confronted quietly stating unless you write her a no-contact letter and get rid of the pre-paid cell phone, we will have to move on.

what did he say about the contact...
had he been saying all along there was NO contact...

what did he say about going NO contact now..

what plan did he come up with to do so...

ARK

Does this mean you've been together/married for about 5 years?

What were the circumstances of your divorces and your meeting/relationship development?

at first husband stated he had no contact and was trying, the messages to his other cell phone had her saying how come you aren't calling me, e-mailing me etc about 3 of no contact and all her messages and pleas he called her and they met. He first said he would handle his business and end it. I said I now require you to write with me a N/C letter and rid of the phone. He said OK. I left for 2 days out of town and just came home he was reading the book "how to survive an affair". I guess we'll talk tonight.Don't know what else to do. Really Really strapped for money he lost job. and we will barely make it thru thu the month. please write back thanks

I met him in a dance club in our small beach town. I had been divorced for 2.5 years, my children grown. He was divorcing so I waited until final.We dated 2 years and married for 3years.

He now says he will send the N/C letter,and turn off the phone. I have expossed the affair 4 months ago. He no longer works for the company where she works. She calls him and leaves lots of how come you won't see me talk to me. I gave him the phone back. I have been gone for 2 days for volunteer work. I will take this up with him tonight.No the other woman is not married, her marriage ended in divorce because of an affair of her husband. She met me, and I told her he was married. He lied to her for 3 months.She lives 6 miles from us, no children no husband.

He was reading SAA on his own? That sounds good.

You will need to be able to send an NC letter with him, get rid of the phone, take all possible precautions, and identify what other things, like MC, accountability of time and money, transparency, etc., that you will need from him in order to consider recovery.

What he does then will determine what your next move is.

Thanks tonight I'm going to ask for the phone and to have m call and shut it off. Also, the computer he works on must be open to me. All the monies I can get to but ****** he lost his job and I'm the one with the credit so he's bending over backwards to accomodate me so I'm going for broke with laying down the rules it's been since april 12th, I exposed the affair, I talked with the unmarried ow who used to work with him. He lied said he was single. She knows he is married. The timing is right to go into plan b for me I have worked plan A. Loss of job WH said he gave up OW he did for three weeks. So need things in place. His last contact was 1 week ago, too soon for recovery or not.

I feel for you. And, though you feel low, I envy where you are. My WS is lost in the fog and hope appears here and there and then is completely lost in the fog.

Some days I am up and hopeful but hurting. Other days, I look through the phone book for a good divorce attorney. I have decided to never ask her to come back, never to make her see me in a degraded way.

Sleep always seems to change my mind. Hehe. Not always for the better, but there is a lesson there: time will help. Patience is very hard on BS's.

Keep your head up.

Brian