It's been a VERY long time since I posted on MB, but I still see some familiar old user names on here.....I posted a bit of an update this evening. Here's a link to my post over on "After Divorce: Dating and Relationships":

Blast from the past....

If you remember me, pop over, take a read, and let me know what you think. I'd appreciate it.

Jen

Hey Jen,

Well he is dumb enuff to marry the bimbo OW? Looks like he is still foggy, eh?

How have u been? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Hello, Jen...nice to hear from you.

It's a relief to read that your xH is not getting married to you, quite frankly!

And is this the OW that he 'wasn't having a A with' at the time of your separation?

TA

Hello again Orchid - it's good to hear from you - you sure got me through some of my emotional melt downs back in the day! Yeah, I guess the MB term foggy applies to him. I just clicked on your links and read the "letter to the OW who thinks she is 'special' - Resillient's thread." I don't know if I read that in the past, but all I can say is holy cow does that ever fit this situation perfectly!!! Thanks for having that link there - it was a good reminder of all the reasons I know I'm better off without him, and that she is in for it with him!

Hello TA - yes indeed, it's the woman he once claimed to not be involved with during our separation, but that I later discovered he was involved with throughout it. The sad thing is she found out he was two timing both of us, and still wanted him - the poor, confused, easily manipulated thing that she is.


Jen

Hi Jen!

From your post on D&R:

You may recall that my XW married OM (the guy she WASN'T having an affair with <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ) 5 months after our divorce (4 years ago this week).

At the time I remember feeling vindicated, relieved, and quite smug. This is the very best thing she could have done for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Removed any remaining doubt anyone had that they both were world class nut cases.

I met the love of my life about a month later, so I wasn't "single" very long. The fact that my XW remarried sooooooo soon was evidence to my STB SO that I wasn't the crazy one.

I recommend you view this development as symbolically taking you still further away from him.

WAT

Hi Jen, long time no see!!!

I'll go check out your thread.

Hi Jen

nice to "see" ya!

Pep

Jen:

regards,

-ol' 2long

Hey Jen,

Good to see you back,

JL

Must be really mixed feelings.

I'm just glad it's not you getting back with him. I do feel bad for HER.

Are we going to get an update on what YOU are doing and feeling?
Good summer vacation this year?

I would guess most of us care more about how things are going for you, than about him. I'ts just a guess though, I don't know for sure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

SS

wow

it seems there are a LOT of people who marry thier affair partner

i thought the percentage for that was very low?

I'm doing okay. I've had a rough year to be honest - my father died suddenly of a heart attack after shovelling heavy snow back in March. It was completely unexpected, he was only 63, and I was very close to him, so it hit me pretty hard. There was a lot to do for so long in terms of funeral details and general estate related business, and that was quite trying, as most of it fell on me. Also, my father was my mom's whole world, so my life has been significantly altered, and I've had to give a lot more time to my mom than I had gotten used to as an adult.

My brother is a real trooper though, he and my sis-in-law moved here from another province (after 20 years living there - they really had to leave a lot behind) to be closer to mom, and reduce the load on me. I just spent a 10 hour day in my mom's basement sorting through 30+ years of pack-ratting. (Please do your families all a favour, don't keep everything! Make annual donations to Good Will or some similar organization!!)

Before my father passed away, I honestly have to say I was really just loving life, and enjoying life on my own, even though I'm still very much single, and haven't met anyone that turned into any kind of "relationship". I'm very much at a point where I'm happy on my own, have several hobbies and quite a few good friends, and only want to be in a romantic relationship with someone else if they really and truly compliment my life, and will treat me well (no more controlling, insecure men for me ever again!).

Summer holidays this year consist of a few small weekend camping trips, and numerous hours spent in my mom's house getting it ready to sell (it's huge, on a huge lot, and she can't take care of it by herself).

All in all, I'm doing okay, but the odd thing is that when I finally got to a point post-divorce where regular tears were becoming something of the distant past, I've found myself in and out of tears all over again, missing my dad. It would seem that the older we all get, the more emotionally challenging this life simply becomes. But I know that I am blessed in many ways with good health, a loving family, good friends, and a good job, so really, I don't have that much to complain about.

On a more positive note, it's great to see so many familiar names pop in and post a hello. Thanks everyone!! I hope all is well with you folks too! If anyone else is up for giving a bit of an update on where you're at and how you're doing, I'd love to know!

Jen:)

It sounds like a lot of work !!

I was going to say that spending your holiday going through your mom's house doesn't sound fun at all, but it might be rewarding. I am sure your mom is glad to have your help.

I suppose I had better go home and donate a few boxes to the goodwill right away, to keep ahead of the curve.

Really though, it does sound like you have adjusted well, and that life is good for you. I hope it keeps getting better.

SS