I just wanted to say thank you for the imput into the letter that H wrote me. I do see your logic into the whole thing. I wish I could have posted this sooner but don't get much time on the computer as my H does his schoolwork and he really doesn't know that I have been posting.<BR>I think H is in full withdrawal now. He has become very strange and quiet. He seemed very depressed yesterday and this morning. He was fine yesterday afternoon when I took the kids and left to go hiking. He even came up behind me and kissed and hugged me. Gave him a couple of hours of space, visited a friend also. When I got back, there was nothing. Wasn't really there. I don't know if the quiet was good for him or not. Just seems very lonely and pathetic. I'm just going on. Got up early this morning, went for my run, which I do for myself every morning, took my shower, got dressed and headed out the door before he even left for school. I gotta tell you, that it felt good, thinking about myself for a change instead of worrying about how he was feeling. That's not to say that I'm not talking to him. I told him last night that if he needs to talk I would always be there for him. I'm supposed to be his best friend, as he put it. I'm giving him alot of space now as I think there is nothing more that I can do. I don't think there is any way to help him through this period. Any suggestions? I do love him so and I want things to work out but I know there are things that I should and should not do.<BR>Also, thanks to everyone else. I know I don't post a whole lot but being in here and reading all of the different situations and how they are being handled is the best medicine for me. I take it day by day and hope that someday I will be a success story like some others here. It's nice to know that I am not alone and I can come here when I need to feel well, not so lonely as I know alot of us are. You are all so strong for wanting to stay in your marriages and make them what they were intended to be. It keeps me going sometimes you know? When it would be easier for me to just walk away from it. Thanks for everything.

Just wanted to share some thoughts on this withdraw....it is a very deceiving...and mind-messing experience...you don't think you can even think straight. I have not had an affair...but was becoming very drawn to a coworker some time back...and have been in an ongoing struggle to avoid any problems. But in those times of avoiding her and staying away from trouble...there have been some incredible pangs of withdraw. I for the life of me cannot imagine the intensity of these feelings had I "crossed over" that line and got involved with her.<BR>I know that I go through spells at home where I am very quiet...subdued...border line depressed...and it is the craziest thing. I have a wonderful wife...and famliy. Been married for 19 years...and there is incredible heartache for even allowing myself to get sucked into this place. But I know that when my wife displays affection and love for me...it really helps tons! Granted...she does not have to overcome the pain in which I am sure you are battling with...and I did share with her months ago about the situation...but have not discussed it with her recently...I would not encourage your husband to "share" his feelings with you....concerning what he is thinking...he probaly feels guilty enough without dumping that kind of stuff on you. Not sure I see the wisdom in doing that...but if you are haning in there...ask God to just give you the grace to love him and express that love...it will pull him out of that "fog" which is exactly where he is in right now.<BR>Hope this helps...