Scott,

Are you around? I just saw your post on Myrta's thread.

How are you doing? We're all worried about you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Please keep posting...

KM

I don't know where to start Katie. My wife did ask for a divorce a couple days before my b-day and she let me know she means it,
said she hasn't loved me like that in a long time ,only reason she stayed was because of the kids and she was planning on telling me after our daughter was married in july, only our daughter eloped in April or May, I can't remember. I know it sounds like fog talk but this affair had been going on a long time.They had worked together for over eight years I think and I'm not sure when it turned into an affair.

Anyway,she wants me to lie about the separation so we can divorce quickly.OM has left his wife and is moving in the house with mine.Thing is
I had signed that house over to my oldest son back in Jan when I first busted her, not sure she is aware of that.She hasn't mentioned it and I
didn't either, my son wouldn't put his mother out but om will never get that house.She was in such a hurry to get me out I guess she didn't think about it.My two sons have moved with me to my parents house, only person living there is the woman that kept house for my mom and dad and shes lived there all my life and I promised my parents I would take care of it and her. My wife has been in a hurry to take care of everything money wise I guess
she just assumes she gets that house.I didn't get my stuff out fast enough and earlier this week she had put it in the driveway of my parents house.
In our state we can pretty much write it up ,agree to it and it's over.

I was pretty tore up and I called Specs.She confessed she wasn't really married but told me she was so both of us could move on,and yes , so I
would see what I was missing.I was upset telling her I didn't know what I'm going to do and she said ,just say when and I'll be there and I knew
she meant it and I knew she would and I thought about it and I told her to come on. I talked to her mother about it ,real sweet lady and shes gonna
let specs yd come visit and in the future if it works out she can live with us. Specs od moved in with a guy and they have a child. I feel very bad
about the way things have turned out and feel totally responsible.


I hate that my wife and I have hurt each other and things have ended this way.She's being so nice to me now ,said she wants us to be friends,
but that she will never be specs friend but she wants me to not hate om ,lol says I just have to get to know him and yes I know ,he's no worse than
I am and I hate that, I can't even say I'm a better person than he is. My wife never tried to recover the marriage with me and she also said mb was a cult.


Specs arrived about 11:00 last night, met my sons, not met my daughter yet, not sure how thats going to be.
I read the posts ,pretty harsh but expected. It was on me, I picked up the phone ,I called her. She didn't want me starting a board war defending her, and I won't.Some people recover here and some don't, mine wasn't meant to be.

Please take care Katie and good luck in your recovery.


Scott

Scott

What message do you think this post and your story sends to hopeful BS and FWS in fresh NC on this marriagebuilding site ?

Oh Scott..I am so sorry.

There is no point in defense of Spectacles.

We all see her 5x5.

I am so sorry that for you..the end of your marriage naturally equated to the resumption of your affair.

It never was an either/or Scott. If you have been operating on this premise..it explains a lot.

I see and hear a broken man..and I wish that you would make a choice to be unbroken instead..and remove yourself from this sickness.

Perhaps you remained in your marriage far beyond what was healthy..but are you not using that same tactic presently as well?

It didn't work before and I don't think it will work this time either.

If your marriage ends...so be it..but your affair..that I will never condone or support.

So I hope that we will not see good ol' specs here shortly asking how to safeguard her affair marriage and make it strong.

I have never seen such a textbook example of a predator and I might actually vomit if that is the case..I have no stomach to watch you volunteer to be eaten because it is easier than fighting for life.

This is a sad revelation and I am troubled by it.

Scott,

I am so, so, sorry...

I wish you had reached out to us, or other friends and family who truly care about you...

Specs reminds me of my FOM in many ways. Until I told his W, he stalked me weekly. The last conversation I had with him he insisted we were still soulmates and "next year or ten years down the road... when you need me, I'll be there."

It's a fulfillment of a fantasy, and it ain't love. I
can understand... when you are very depressed and broken... soul sick and sad... how an invitation like this seems like a comforting option. But you are self-medicating, Scott.

I wish you would seek help for yourself... jumping from one broken relationship into this one is going to make you feel 100 times sicker than you feel now... you will never find true happiness, and the pain will never end.

I respect you for being honest with us, Scott. We will always be here when you need us... when the A is over, or when you want to end it for good.

I am so sorry for all of your pain.

God Bless you and your children,

Katie M.

Oh, Scott...

Your choices suck. Being torn up...that's yours. Using it as an excuse to call Specs, that's you not being honest with yourself.

You're not divorced. You just showed your children and hers that people are garbage...replaceable...interchangeable...

I'm so sorry for them. You are the OM again. She was in a relationship with a man, had his child...playing house.

Now you're going to pretend with her.

My sorrow is deep...for you...your choices...when you were growing and learning about yourself. My assumption.

I'm so sorry.

LA