I just broke up with my girlfriend of 5 1/2 months. My longest relationship since my divorce. She was great except for the fact that she needed constant interaction and couldn't stand being alone. We got along famously for awhile, right up to the point where I couldn't spend as much time with her (took on a 2nd job) and she started filling in the gaps with meeting friends out in the city. Now, understand that this by itself is not a big deal but if you combine it with the fact that she uses poor judgement and I've never met her "mostly guy friends" and it's a recipe for disaster.

What did I do to "give her a challenge?" I gave her a key to my house and we fought on many occasion about trust issues mostly. Now, she invaded my home many a time and yet I never got to see that side of her world that included her guy friends. She would always come up with some excuse like I haven't seen these particualr group of people in a while or it's gonna be a "girl night".

Now, I'm back to being single and I have to say that I'm not looking forward to it. I really cared about this girl and I'm in shock that we couldn't work it out. I saw a future for us and now I'm lost and alone.

I wish that you could just tell from the start whether or not things would work out with the person your dating because it is such a let down when it doesn't.

In the end, she blamed me for being too untrusting when all she had to do was let me into a part of her world that I knew nothing about. It seems so simple, it's stupid.

Coughlin,

you assume way too much, and don't evaluate reality very well. . . she didn't pass very many relatioinship tests, but passed the romantic, fun tests. . .

you have to find a woman that passes both, or you can put up with what she doesn't have for what she does have. . .

ie, you have to be more judgemental and discriminating. .


wiftty

Well, you can choose to look at this as a bad thing, a good thing, or just a thing.

Dating is for discovering these things.

The good, you found out before you married. It cost you some time, and perhaps some new locks on your house.

A nasty marriage and or divorce could cost more.

So you learned a bit, and you are wiser. All in all, I'd call this a success.

Dating is not designed so that every dating relationship ends up in marriage. Dr Harley suggests one date upwards of 30 people before they marry.

Check one off the rolls...

I posted my story just 3 months back...some of the responses given to me helped me a lot. Whilst I still think of my ex GF (and strangely my exW) almost every day, I grow stronger day by day, and am getting used to being single again...and I will never ever stay in a relationship again just to avoid being lonely!! Time will slowly help heal the wounds as they say. My best advice is to keep busy, do things that you enjoy...I joined a social club and do different things with different people every other weekend. I am going rock-climbing tomorrow!! Stay positive...I have managed to struggle through a similarly difficult time as you.