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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128 |
Hi all.........It's funny how things change so rapidly. Something happened the other night (I won't go into details but it had to do with panic/anxiety) and I ended up being the only person in the world (besides a trip to the ER) who could calm the situation. Her friends brought her home and they were freeking out.
In a way, it was good since we kind of re-connected in a way that's hard to describe. Basically, I've hung in there.....I don't think it was her low spot, but it got her talking and seriously considering the value of the relationship and what she's done to her family.
My ring is still on.
BS (me) - 46
WW - 37
Separated on Sept. 1, 2006
Divorced June 2007
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 486
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 486 |
HT, What hopeful news! Her panic/anxiety has everything to do with how she's been behaving, BTW. It's catching up with her. Would she consider seeing an IC? I can sense your pride in keeping your ring on... good for you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Have you thought about your next steps?
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 34
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 34 |
Hey there HT, Was thikning of you this weekend. I 'caved' and put all of my rings back on. WH noticed them about 4 hours later and asked me why I did that? I said, 'I took them off when I was in a state of panic and rage. Now that I have centered myself, I decided that I'm still devoted to our marriage and will never take them off again unless there is a REALL GOOD reason. He had no comment but just smiled at me. Don't think it made much of an impact on him but it made me feel better. Thanks for the 2x4!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me - BS 42, spiritual but not religious
XWH - 41, neither spritual nor religious
Married 19 yrs, together 21 yrs
2 girls - 15 and 11
1st Dday - Columbus Day weekend 2005 (was told it was a ONS)
2nd Dday - Sometime late June 2006 & discovered it was the same OW all this time!
XWH recommited to M on 8/11/06 and NC so far!
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128 |
"Would she consider seeing an IC?"
Katie.....I really don't think she will right now. As mentioned on an earlier post, she's Bi-Polar. Been to sooo many IC's over the years. I think she's given up on them and wants to figure things out for herself. Ya' can't force it. We sat on the floor the other night for hours and just held each other and rocked back and forth....I told her happy stories, Positive things, etc. The attack passed and I guess I am now a hero again. She tells me she thought she was gonna die. Heart was pumping so fast, etc.
Scampi.......Good for you. As I learned, you did not cave! Since he smiled, that's good news. Be patient.
BS (me) - 46
WW - 37
Separated on Sept. 1, 2006
Divorced June 2007
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128 |
OH by the way.......My new motto here...... "MY RING IS STILL ON!" LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
BS (me) - 46
WW - 37
Separated on Sept. 1, 2006
Divorced June 2007
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 67
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 67 |
I guess I am the opposite. The day I found out husband was having an affair, I removed my wedding band. I feel like he violated the marital vows we took and the ring meant nothing.
Now I'm wondering, should I be wearing it, to show I want the marriage.
together for 22 years
married for 18 years
affair discovered April 29/06
husband left June 29/06
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 128 |
broke........I was "Going to show her" until I read these posts and started thinking.
I'm going to be the bigger person. Whatever the reasons our spouses have or the fog they are in does not mean I'm done. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still married and my ring will now stay on until that is no longer an option.
BS (me) - 46
WW - 37
Separated on Sept. 1, 2006
Divorced June 2007
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