Hope, but don't expect...

Be fair, be correct, and all he does goes to his 'account', and that should have nothing to do with you...

Also, don't accept 'shifting blames'... It'd be quite enough if you accept just your own ones, as we should, regardles...

When my X does that, I just say - fine, I hope this comforts you and hope you feel better now; please just call me and blame me whenever you feel that will make you happy, for your happiness is very important to me'
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Also, when he blames me for things I was to be blamed for, I admit, say that I'm so sorry... and I am...

Well, keeping the score <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />, much less than he should be... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
(and is, he just doesn' want to admit, for it would be admitting his wrong doings... ah men... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)

I have always admitted to him the things I felt I did in the M. He has never been forthcoming with anything he did in return. Maybe one day he will be able to apologize. That might be a real healing step for him, then he might be able to go out and live his life.

Same here
Well, at the beginning (of D), he kind of said 'sorry', but that was pro forme... I didn't feel it's from his heart...

And I expected for quite some time to hear it... and stopped, a long time ago - because I see his sorry in his eyes every time I see him, in some gesture, in his smile... I see his unhappiness, and he doesn't have to say anything... I can read all on his face and his glance...
And I'm deeply sorry for him...
And I don't even want him to tell me THAT sorry at all... for it's so already sad without him truly admitting/confirming it...
There is a part of love for him in me, and I think it will always be... because I don't want to get rid of it... I owe that to him for life we had before all *&**&* and above all to my son as his son too...
And, weird as it can be, I know (can feel it in the air <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />) he feels the same...

Sorry KK2002 but wally world (walmart) will hire anyone thats puts in an application, the one up here by me would only fire those who stole from the store, that is how desparete they are for help.

Those are is his excuses so he does not have to look at how dark his soul has become

That is good to hear. I don't know how he can continue to lie like he does. I think is starting to believe his own lies, very scary.

Hey KK2002 I wanted to include this quote that I've heard twice within the last 4-5 days, by two different men of faith, Alister Begg (SP?) and Billy Grahamn this morning..... it's so true too.



"Sow and act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap destiny."
Frances E. Willard

Thanks for that quote, Swan!
Belonging, I certainly don't hate my X, as he is the father of my 3 teens....What I feel has softened in the past 3 years, and I do still feel some of the caring, and mostly I feel sorry for him, almost as I would for a straying child.....
I want to see him become a better person. I don't want to ever be married to him again, but I want him to straighten up his life.