I found out about my WXS's affair back in December of 2005. It started an entire week (7 days) before I found out and confronted her about it. She denied it, they were just friends, etc, we all know the things they say. Those that followed my thread know the outcome...

Our divorce was officially final on June 27th. I know a few were worried I would have regrets for letting things become final so quick. I do have some regret, but I feel I realy did not have much of a choice but to let at least this portion of my life come to an end. The financial strain, the legal threat, the loss of my job and my home. I ran out of money, i was able to dictate and modify the terms of the divorce and I signed off on it.

So here we are almost 8 months past d-day, divorce is final and I still find myself coming around and reading up on MB at least ever few days. I still find myself wanting to post here but I have been resisiting, i mean why, im divorced... shouldnt i just forget about all of this and move on?

Things have been rough lately. The buyer of my home backed out last month and there is nothing else I can do to save it short of coming up with the money to pay it off. It will be sold at a sherrif's auction on August 28th. Child support is on my rear, she is about money, it has been a financial nightmere and I really do not know what to do.

Three weeks ago my WXS quit her job. She had a very good job making some $16 an hour along with benifits and had a management position. She has made no attempt (other then saying she has a few interviews) to get another job and has been going on all these mini vacations, theme parks, the fair, etc. She is on me about money yet always has a way to do all these fun things. I am killing myself trying to make a living and catch up on my support and pay for all the debt i have been stuck with. It just does not seem fair. We have all this debt which we are both responsible for, but who do you think they will come after since she decided to no longer work? I am just waiting for her to go to child support and request more money since she is out of a job.

When she quit her job I asked her what she was going to do for money and how she was going to pay her bills and support herself. I never got a straight answer from her conerning this. I even went as far as asking if she was planning on moving in with her affair partner and she told me no, absolutely not. I knew it was going to eventually happen but some part of me thought just maybe she would be honest and upfront about my childrens living arrangements, i mean we are divorced, she can do what she wants and i cant do a thing about it anymore.... why lie and hide everything still?

Today I picked up my children and was talking with my oldest about a confrontation him and his mother had today (they have been having some smack-down drag out fights lately which end up in her calling me and wanting to send him to my home, yeah, throw him away too why dont you).... He told me that Dan, her affair partner has moved in with them at her place. My youngest then proceeded to tell me that Dan, her affair partner had bought them a house which they will be moving into soon, my x, my children, him and his kids. I had to find out about this from my children.

This really upset me and is why I am here writing now. I just do not know how to handle this kind of stuff. It all just seems so bizarre and surreal to me still. I waited 4 years before I said I do to her, and it took us almost 7 years before we were able to pruchase a home. Her fog speak has told me more then once that we never really became friends and that we rushed into things. I remember annd still think of things like this she has said but then I sit back and look at how quickly these two have went from having an affair to buying a home together and I am guessing that marriage will be next.

I still do not understand any of this, and I do not understand why I still let her actions hurt me. Besides the financial woes and other BS my life has actually been pretty good lately, but I still let her bring me down. Is there something wrong with me?

--don

There is nothing wrong with you.

Check the judgement. In some cases, when the XW begins co-habitation with another - your responsibility for spousal (not child) support goes away.

Also - Mortarman's judgement specifically stated that the custody would change if XW were to begin cohabitation with another.

Check your judgement, and find out, if you do not already know.

She is not the woman you married, but the alien that has inhabited her body.

I will pray for your kids.

foundareason

bump

Hi, MrLU,

I have nothing for you...you're walking where I haven't gone...but I'm here, listening...

And I know when you post, others are helped.

And when you share, the world is enhanced.

Just is.

I see your emotional support of your kids more than your CS...and I believe your life will change financially...do what FAR says...that this is only temporary...right now...and finding out what is hurting inside your OS, hearing it, not acting on it...acknowledging all of him matters.

LA