My wife filed for divorce this week. Until then I was trying to make it work. Now I dont't care because lies/contact continue. I previously promised I would not expose to OM Wife if no more lies. I do not think OM is living with wife but their divorce was filed nearly two years ago and no activity on that case since. However, when I threatened in the past to expose my W did not want me to because of her fear of the effect on OM wife which leads me to beleive that they may be working on their marriage. Do I even bother at this point contacting her to tell her OM is involved with my W or does it no longer matter?

The reason for the urgency is that OM is on my town until alter tonite so if they are still living together and I call her today there would be no chance of him beign there to intercept call or find out about it today.

Thanks.

Then you should by all means do so.

Because it is RIGHT for her to know the real reasons her marriage is being undermined. She has the right to know the real reasons behind her husbands behavior. She has the right to the truth in her life.

Those are the reasons to tell her. Not to be vindictive to your wife. But because the victim has the right to know.

Don't threaten. Just do.

I would do nothing to protect the OM from the consequences of his actions with your WW. Your WW has asked you to agree to keeping the A from the OMW. I would not be complicit in hurting her. You telling her is NOT hurting her, it is HELPING her. And, the exposure is good for you and your marriage. Secrecy is the friend of the A while exposure to the light of day is the friend of the M.

I will check back later, please keep us posted, I hope some of the old timers here will see your post.

I vote tell her.

Call her, or do it in person.

Exposure to OM's W was the final nail in FWW's LTA (oops, mixed metaphore.)

Even if you are through with this M, she may not be and she deserves the truth. She deserves reality.

Even if she is through too, she still desrves the truth, to not think she was crazy for all those years.


With prayers

PS: I get to vote yes as many times as I feel I need to.

Tell her. That is the best thing to do. It makes no sense taht she would extract this secrecy promise from you unless she knew it would cause trouble for her affair. This is why such promises should never be honored. They only protect the affair, at the expense of the MARRIAGE.

I will tell her. Tried calling the house. Number has been changed to a cell phone. Tried calling that number but got the voicemail. Did not leave message in case it is not a cell phone. Should I? I plan on calling back and will do so until I get her on the line. In person is not practical at a distance of 8 hours at $3.00 a gallon.

If house phone has been changed to a cell phone (and it's not his, I also know that one) then perhaps they are done. DOn't worry, I will attempt to talk to OM wife anyway.

I think I knew all along I would finally attmept to contact her, just wanted the affirmation from all of you I also knew I would get.

Thanks.

Have you triad to write a letter

SFA, if that does not succeed, you might send her a letter like Marcus suggested.

Do you have any idea where she works?