Thanks, Believer

I don't recall doing that. I don't practice that much law anymore as my wife and I opened several small businesses. I've got more expertise in opening and operating small businesses now than tax/estate planning law (my former career). Just couldn't sit behind the desk 24/7 anymore (that is until I found MB...lol). If you have questions Beleiver I'd be more than happy to assis you. You have OUR email.


Strongest...you have email. (sorry it's very wordy)

Thinking a bit more on it tonight...I wonder if staying in the house would be best, if possible. If you two sell it...the other grandchildren must be paid whereas if you stay you get to live and utilize essentially their money/inheritance for as long as you can or are allowed to live there by the divorce order. Until it's sold or GF dies there is nothing the other Grandchildren can do but wait. It would likely be in both your interest and WH's interest (since he doesn't want to pay them either) to keep it titled jointly and the trust doesn't seem to consider the event of divorce. Like I said in the email...litigation may follow. Your attorney really, really, really has to consider this from all angles carefully and get outside assistance with the tough questions.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering

p.s.- Would your husband like to keep the house??? You may get 1/2 of the full appraised value of the property from him in the divorce without any of the mess (I can't see how he'd call the "charge" on the trust an actual "debt") Then you can get a fresh start in your own home with $$$$. Take the money...rent an apartment or small home and figure out what you want over the course of the next year. I understand this may be tough with kids...but the options then expand dramatically. The world becomes your oyster...not some house.

WOW!!!

All I can say is again WOW!!! um..WOW!!! Another reason why I'M not an attorney...brain cramps : )...THANK YOU...what a mess...like you said...what NOT to do. That was good...lol.

I'm starting to really like the last idea...My WS would LOVE the house. I would like to get a fresh appraisel...we've put at least 40,000 into what was a 200,000 appraised house. He IS, IS exactly trying to claim that the "charge" on the trust is an actual "debt"...cough...how can he claim that or better yet how can he NOT claim that?

Thank you again SOOOOOOOOO much Mr. Wonderings...and at the end of your day too! Most impressive.

Strongest

A good lawyer never sleeps. lol



Of course your STBXH wants it called a debt so he can keep it and have it only worth 20% of it's assessed value (which is your same argument if you were to keep it). However, I don't think it's so. I doubt any type of lien or encumbrance has been filed on the property with the County Register of Deeds (maybe it has...your attorney can easily check this).

(edited to add: It could be b/c of the clause requiring immediate payment if sold...it's quite possible a lien was filed OR a restriction placed on the deed)


My guess is it's not a debt...it's just a "charge" against a future expectancy. Either way, STBXH still can't value the house at next to nothing. STBXH has a "life estate interest" in the property which is a CERTAIN VALUE determined based upon the life expectancy of Grandfather which is likely about 20+ years (based upon specific IRS tables) ADDED TO THAT is the value of the 20%+ improvements fee interest he essentially owns/inherited outright. On a $300,000 house, off the top of my head I'd guess a value of about $240,000. You see, there IS a value to the right to live in a house for a "lifetime"...STBXH gets to "use" his cousins inheritance until he sells it (which is his choice, not obligation) or grandfather dies. That right HAS value.

If that still didn't make sense...imagine this:

What would you pay someone TODAY for the right to live in that house for 20 years?

What would you pay someone TODAY for the right to live in that house for the rest of you life?

2 different values...but there is a way to compute both of them.


In conclusion, taking the money and letting him stay/have the house is the cleanest way to handle this. I think you could consider requesting the right to stay for a couple years until the kids finish school. You will have to consider whether to sign the house over now OR then. The downside to waiting to sign the house over is what happens if Grandfather dies in those "couple years" and the estate/trust is out of assets to pay the "charge". Perhaps the divorce order could be set up to indicate you sign the house over to him...it then becomes his house, however, you remain in the house and pay a small rent (or the rent is deducted from alimony/support payments) for the couple years it takes for kids to reach the age of majority (18 in most states) or graduate high school. Then you move out...the following summer or after graduation, etc. Remember to negotiate the payment of taxes, maintenance, etc.

Good luck

Hope this makes sense.

Mr. Wondering

P.S.- just noticed you've got an 11 year old...that's 7 years. What a wonderful way to insure support payments by living in HIS home nearly or absolutely rent free for the next 7 years. Let him have the title and you keep the money. Especially, cause the house has sentimental value to HIM. I suggest you and your lawyer negotiate first FOR the house outright, then give in and "let" him win. That's the best way to maximize the value of "losing". Gotta love that Briar Rabbit.

[edited to add - then for 6 or 7 years you are just a renter...you get to enjoy the work and improvements you've done over the last few years...but you'll KNOW not to invest much money or time in improving it further. Heck, if you and STBX actually end up "getting along" someday...he may even be more motivated to come over, spend time with his kids and work on "his" house. A plus for the kids and the house you get to use/abuse...for a time. Same goes if you don't get along...he's your landlord and should be made responsible for fixing everything 24 hours a day...hehehehe]

[color:"purple"] HELLOOOOOOO....where did you come from?...free legal advice?...huh? what is this place????? You'll go broke just giving it all away you know....however I'm priviledged and grateful to be the receipent of your genorosity (sp.) Thank you...I hope my lawyer is not offended when I print this out and give it to her. Your conclusions and arguement seem sound to me...it did seem fishy before.

It may explain why my stbxh was SOOOO anxious and mean as well as giving me a expiration date on his offer of $60,000 "buyout." Hoping if I just wanted to get away from the pest in a hurry I wouldn't dig deeper and find out that I actually deserve $60,000 and more. He wanted to say it was a "gift." No wonder he had a cheshire cat smile on his face in mediation when I said I would consider it. For the first time he passed me a box of kleenex and said " I DO want you to be happy you know." I couldn't help it...the words, smile, kleenex after all the insult and injury was just too much...it sounded like a band saw going through my ear canal. I put up my hand like a stop sign and said "stop. Don't talk." I thought I might throw up. Who was this person. slime ball and disgusting I don't think I could forgive him now...he is soo worried about himself...Narcissim at it's peak.

whoa..tangent there...sorry

Thanks again Mr. Wondering...now your wondering about me. ha ha

Strongest

PS: It would appear I might have an "issue" with forgiveness...just like he accusses me of all the time. I'm not over it...well it isn't exactly "over" yet is it?...like...we're still married late night Mr. Ronde vous man (sp.). AHHHHHH...how did he become such an uncaring, nasty, selfish person? If it wasn't for the fact that I'm the mother of his children...he would want me dead and out of the way. I know I'll need to heal and let it go ...just would like to give him a little boot as he walked out the door...I wasn't raised that way...some how I've always tried to "maintain" my composure. Take the high road...put your nose in the air if you have to but don't lash back. Don't fight fire with fire. Two wrongs don't make a right. Anyway...I'll be looking into a child pschologist/therapist/and/or banana split group for my kids...my babes gotta get through this as best as they can!!! Wait until they meet mommy's old best friend that she doesn't talk to anymore as their daddy's OW. WOW...how nice for them. Good job dad![/color]

Mr. Wondering -

It was about starting a business with the INTENT of making a profit. It was great. I saved it on my computer, but it is messed up right now, and I can't get into my documents.

To all the Wonderful Folks here in MB Land:

Oh boy...

My lawyer said w/out "good will" or "good faith" there is no mediation. Respect and dignity is a BIG issue here at home....let alone in mediation. She doubts he CAN mediate.

She suggested I tell him and mean it...Respect and dignity or litigation..."he laughs and says don't threaten me...bring it on!!...you're not going to get any more $ then what I'm offering you right now." Well he is taunting me. He said last night...
-You're Lazy
-You're Lazy
-You want to be nasty I'll be nasty
-You're a sleepy head
-You're a sleepy head
-You're just like your mother
-It's not her (meaning OW, no blame)
-It's you (blame)
-It's you (blame)

This was after I decided to plug my ears to all his nasty comments...I looked at him and could read his lips...I shouldn't have...he knows my buttons. I just want to move far away.

He said "you're crazy." He is losing it! Believe it or not I'm composed during all this. I left...I've done some scratching around about how to have him removed from the house for his behavior. It can happen.

So anyway...I plan on going to mediation and explaining all this in front of the mediator...and my counselor/therapist tomm....now do I litigate?...I'm thinking seriuosly about it. He thinks it is and I am a joke.

He is so incredibly nasty.

Strongest

Strongest,

If you are in the right, if the law is bent towards your side, if you can be strong in the face of taunts, threats, etc then I promise what I am about to tell you will will emotionally.

Whatever you tell your STBXH you are going to do then do it. Don't say that you are going to do anything you are not going to do. When you are through with this process....."If you tell your STBXH that a rooster can pull a freight train then you want him to not ask questions or provide comments, only to go and get the harness." The only way to do this to mean what you say 100% of the time.

Whatever it is no matter how small if you tell him you are going to do something do not fail to do it.

He has no respect for you, believes you are weak, naive, emotionally unstable, thinks he can bully you into doing what he wants,, when he wants. She him differently by saying what you mean and meaning what you say EVERYTIME.

Sounds like he's utilizing mediation in bad faith. He has no intention to settle things fairly and hopes he can take advantage of you.

I'm no divorce attorney but the cases like these I've seen IRL and on MB usually require a final divorce decree issued by the judge...STBXH has no intention of settling amicably as he is deluded to the term reasonableness.

He's also hoping the more miserable he makes you at home the more likely you'll throw in the towel and give in.

A good old thread on GQII is Pepsi's. Her husband never had any notion that he'd lose so badly in court. Some of it may be he has a bad attorney...but that's typical for WS's as they have no concept of logic (even when presented by their own attorney) and they only hear what they want to hear (which is ONLY the best case scenario as presented by their attorney).

It's unfortunate and a huge waste of money and time (cause the court will delay, delay, delay trying to encourage you to settle even though you can't) but if you don't see this through you and your kids will lose. Be strong.

Mr. Wondering

Thank you Hope and Pray,

Strong words...Your rooster reference reminds me of the Taming of the Shrew...when the husband claims he has tamed Katherine(I believe)...something like...If I say it is night and it is day she believes me.

"If you are in the right, if the law is bent towards your side, if you can be strong in the face of taunts, threats, etc then I promise what I am about to tell you will will emotionally."

I know you were saying something supportive here ..would you mind expanding on it? I really want to know what you mean. Thanks

Your right when you say how he sees me...naive too!





Hi Mr. Wonderings!!! Nice to hear from you again...

I think he was/is using mediation in bad faith...he told me before we started mediation that "everything would be fine as long as I worked with him." He must have said "work with me" 25 times before we had our first mediation meeting, I knew enough then that was his code for...agree and go along, don't give me trouble and this will be easy for you otherwise....Oh I just remembered he liked to back up his statement with "Don't d*ck with me!!" It is probably difficult for anyone to believe but I would just sit there looking at him like...what is your deal? What are you so worried about?? We just divide things up fairly and as cordially as possible...

As a matter of fact...I said that "I felt like he didn't even care about me...that he could live in the rich house and I could live in a shack..." He then took the opportunity to show his incredible benevolence by saying..."if I didn't care about you...I wouldn't have asked my dad if I could borrow $60,000 to give you towards a house." Apparently the $60,000 is a benevolent gift from my WS and FIL...I wasn't actually entitled to anything...cough.




HIS EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY: (long sorry)

I will talk to my attorney...but as I understand I can go to domestic violence and fill out a report through family court or something so that he must stop his abusive behavior at home. If he continues then he is in violation of a criminal act and can be given a restraining order.

He is so emotionally nutz right now I don't think he is in control of his emotions anyway...and doesn't know how to keep them in check anymore. Not that I want to attack him...but it is quite reminiscent of the children with ADD (he has ADD) in school...who WANT to "behave" ...but if they get a little charged up...everything is "out the window" again. It is almost as if it isn't their fault...there is a part of him that tries for a good, hard, solid minute to be a gentlemen...but then it creates internal conflict within him and like a spring all that friction explodes.

Anyway...his ADD may be kicking it up a notch inside him. Yesterday...he would go sit in the chair cross his legs and sit as if he is the picture of composure. It is what he wants. One minute later he is behind me in the kitchen starring at me. I turn around and he immitates me by plugging his ears...then takes it to another level by sticking his tongue out and making the...bleh, bleh, bleh...noise and then crouches on the floor bouncing on his knees like. (...what the heck?...I mean REALLY...insane material here.)

When I was off balanced and having a difficult time I internalized it...my WS is externalizing...ALL OVER THE PLACE. The dogs and kids catch a lot of it too.

Anyway...the nut house isn't cool anymore...I have ENOUGH stuff to contend with...besides him. GEEPERS!!! He wasn't helpful before...but this is ridiculous...I'm living with a clown (more like a jack-in-the-box) who I have to wonder if he is going to start playing with sharp instruments! Ha HA..kinda

It is a little spooky...but whatever...he looks at me sometimes with such a sinister look...he is trying to intimidate me. I keep thinking he is harmless. Just get away.

I didn't finish the dinner dishes because I wasn't go stand in the room with him behaving so strangely...so I left with the kids and their friend to play minature golf...all in all we had a good time...and the kids had fun. Did them and me a world of good. My eldest was laughing and dancing with the golf club...very good to see him loose and light!

Amazing that they, we, can all do more than just survive in this environment. It isn't easy I tell you.

I appreciate yours and everyone's support...this board has tremendous meaning to me right now. I visit it a lot. This is a challenging time and it is soooo incredibly nice to have people who sound rational and reasonable to confide in and give me feedback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Strongest

OK...I had a little fun today thinking and working on your legal issues. I don't practice much law at all anymore so I thought it would be a good exercise for me to do a little research. In 1997 when I discontinued practicing most everything we did was by book. Now the internet has all the information I need and it's soo much easier to access the needed information.

As far as the valuation of the house.

Your first argument is that he owns it all. He's already inherited it, the "charge" is NOT a debt against the asset but a "charge" against a future anticipated inheritance that currently IS available. Thus, together you both own 100% of the appraised value in the marital estate.

In the alternative, you argue that the marital estate valuation of the house is comprised of the difference btwn the ASSESSED Value (less Capital Improvements) and the APPRAISED value of the house, plus STBXH's 20% interest in the ASSESSED value of the house, plus the value of STBXH's life estate interest in the house.

Here is an example:

Assumed Facts:
$300,000 Appraised Value
$260,000 Assessed Value (look at your property tax bill)
$10,000 Capital Improvements
Grandfather = 68 years old

Analysis:

Marital Estate Value of House:

Add:
Difference Btwn Assessed and Appraised Value....$ 40,000
Capital Improvements.......................................$ 10,000

STBXH's outright interest in the house
(20% X ($260 k less $10 k)................................$ 50,000

Value of Life Estate interest of remaining
80% Interest in Assessed value less Cap Impr*...$ 109,924.

..................................................................-----------------
Marital Estate Value of home Aug-2006...............$ 209,924.
..................................................................============

*Value of Life Estate Interest Computation:

IRS Publication 7520 - 120% of Applicable Federal Rate -Annual Mid-term Rate for August, 2006 = 6.27%

IRS Publication 1457 Table S - 6.2%:
Single Life Factor for 68 year old Grandfather Based upon Life Table 90CM - 6.2% equals .54961/dollar of Life Estate Interest

Thus, $200,000 (80% of $260 k less $10 k Cap Improvement) X .54962 (life estate Factor) = $109,924.



Finally...I have not extensively researched whether these publications and tables have been recently revised or updated...but the numbers above should give your attorney a good idea where to start. The Pub 7520 rate is revised monthly so the actual App Fed Mid Term rate will vary depending on the month your attorney makes the valuation argument and, of course, Grandfather is likely to be 69 years old by then which will change the Pub 1457 Factor.

I know it's confusing but your attorney will hopefully like it.

Mr. Wondering

[color:"red"]Dear Dear Mr. Wondering....







Go get your wife please... because I said so.....




Hi Mrs. Wondering...wanted you to see that I think Mr. Wondering is extremely generous with his time and talent...





and I for one say......






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Chechen (North Caucasus) Barkalla
Cherokee (United States) Wa'-do
Cheyenne (United States) Néá'eshe
Cheyenne (United States) [plural] Néá'êshemeno
Cheyenne (United States) [intertribal] Hahóo
Chichewa (South Africa, Malawi) Zikomo
Chichewa (South Africa, Malawi)[very much] Zikomo kwambiri
Chichewa (South Africa, Malawi)[very much] Zikomo kwambili
Chilomwe (Malawi) Zikomo
Chilomwe (Malawi) [thank you very much] Zikomo kwambili
[Chinese, see dialects: Cantonese, Hoi San, Hokkien and Mandarin]
Chingoni (Malawi) Zikomo
Chinook Jargon (North America) Masiem
Chinook Jargon (North America) Mahsie
Chinyanja (Zambia, Mozambique) Zikomo
Chinyanja (Zambia, Mozambique) [very much] Zikomo kwambiri
[Chippewa, see Ojibwe]
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [to one person] Ndatenda
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [to one person] Ndinotenda
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [to a group] Tatenda
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [to a group] Tinotenda
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [for doing a task] Mazviita
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [for doing a task] Maita basa
Chishona (Zimbabwe) [for doing a task] Maita zvenyu
Chitonga (Malawi) Yewo
Chitonga (Malawi) [very much] Yewo chemene
Chitonga (Zambia) Twalumba
Chitumbuka (North Malawi) Yewo
Chitumbuka (North Malawi) [very much] Yewo chemene
Chitumbuka (North Malawi) [very much] Yewo chomene
Chiyao (South Malawi) Sikomo
Chiyao (South Malawi) Asante
Chiyao (South Malawi)[thank you very much] Sikomo kwejinji
Chiyao (South Malawi)[thank you very much] Asante sana
Choctaw (Oklahoma United States) Yokoke
Choctaw (Oklahoma United States) Yakoke
Chol (Mexico) Wokolix awölö
Chol (Mexico) Wokol a wala
Chortí (Guatemala) Ch'ahp'ei'x ta'p'a
Chuj (Guatemala) Yuj wal dios
Chuukese (Micronesia) Kili so
Chuukese (Micronesia) [very much] Kili so chapur
Chuukese (Chuuk Lagoon Micronesia) Kini so
Chuukese (Chuuk Lagoon Micronesia) [very] Kini so chapur
Chuvash (Russia) Tavtapuch
Chuvash (Russia) Tav
Chuvash (Russia) Tavssi
[Circassian, see Adyghe]
Coeur d'Alene (Idaho United States) Limlemtsch
Comanche (North America) Ura
Comanche (North America) Urako
Comori (Comoros) Marahaba
Comori (Comoros) Marahabha
[Conibo, see Shipibo]
Cornish [middle/unified] (Great Britain) Dew re-dallo dheugh-why
Cornish [middle/unified] (Great Britain) Durdala dywy
Cornish [modern] (Great Britain) Durdaladawhy
Cornish [modern] (Great Britain) Gwra'massi
Cornish [modern] (Great Brit.) [very much] Merastawhy
Cornish [Kemmyn] (Great Britain) Meur ras
Cornish (Great Britain) Meur ras dhis
Corsican (France) Grazia
Corsican (France) À ringraziè vi
Corsican (France) À ringraziavvi
Cree (Canada) (to one person) Kinanâskomitin
Cree (Canada) (to more than one person) Kinanâskomitinawaw
Cree (Canada) E'kosi
Cree (Canada) Têniki
Cree (Canada) Mikwec
Cree (Canada) Nunasko'mowin keya
Cree [Ouje Bougoumou] (James Bay Canada) Mîkwêc
Cree [Plains Cree] (Canada) Kitatamihin
[Creek, see Muskogee]
Creole (West Indies) Mese
[Créole (Seychelles), see Seselwa]
Crioulo (Guinea-Bissau) Obrigado
Croatian (Bosnia, Yugoslavia) Hvala
Croatian (Bosnia, Yugoslavia) [very much] Puno hvala
Croatian (Bosnia, Yugoslavia) [very much] Hvala lijepa
[Crow, see Apsaaloke]
Czech (Czech Republic) Dêkuji
Czech (Czech Republic) [informal] Dik'
Dagaare (Burkina Faso, Ghana) Barka
Dagaare (Burkina Faso, Ghana) Puorra bebe la
Dakota (North America) Pidamayado
Dakota (North America) [by male] Pidamaya yedo
Dakota (North America) [by female] Pidamaya ye
Danish (Denmark, Greenland) Tak
Danish (Denmark, Greenland) [very much] Mange tak
Dega (Vietnam) Lac jak
Dega (Vietnam) [very much] Lac jak ko ih lu
Deg Xinag (Alaska) Dogedinh
Deg Xinag (Alaska) Xisrigidisddhinh
Dekelh [Carrier] (Canada) Musi
Dekelh [Carrier] (Canada) [very much] Musicho
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by one to one] Snachailya
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by one to 2+] Snachalhuya
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by 2 to 1] Nahnachailya
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by 2 to 2+] Nahnachalhuya
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by 3+ to 1] Nenachailya
Dekelh [Lheidli] (Canada) [by 3+ to 2+] Nenachalhuya
Dekelh [Nak'albun] (Canada) [by 1 to 1] Snachailya
Dekelh [Nak'albun] (Canada) [by 1 to 2+] Snachalhya
Dekelh [Nak'albun] (Canada) [by 2+ to 1] Nenachailya
Dekelh [Nak'albun] (Canada) [by 2+ to 2+] Nenachalhya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by one to one] Snachailya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by one to 2+] Snachalhuya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by 2 to 1] Nahnachailya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by 2 to 2+] Nahnachalhuya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by 3+ to 1] Nenachailya
Dekelh [Saik'uz] (Canada) [by 3+ to 2+] Nenachalhuya
[Delaware, see Lenape]
Dhivehi (Maldives) Shukuriyyaa
Dhivehi (Maldives) [very much] Varah bodah shukriyyaa
Dinka (Sudan) Yin acaa muoc
Diola (Senegal) Mersi
Diola (Senegal) Emitekati
Domari (Egypt) Daarim
Dusun (Sabah Malaysia) Pounsikou
Dutch (Netherlands, Belgium) [polite] Dank u
Dutch (Netherlands, Belgium) [informal] Dank je
Dutch (Netherlands, Belgium) [polite] Dank u wel
Dutch (Netherlands, Belgium) [informal] Dank je wel
Dutch (Netherlands) Bedankt
[Dyerma, see Zarma]
Dyula [Jula] (Cote d'Ivoire, Burkina Faso) I ni che
Dzongkha (Bhutan) Kadinche
Dzongkha (Bhutan) Kadinche la
Edo (Nigeria) Ù rú èsé
Egyptian (ancient Egypt) [to a man] Dua Netjer en ek
Egyptian (ancient Egypt) [to a woman] Dua Netjer en etj
Ekegusii (Kenya) Imbuya mono
Enga (Papua New Guinea) Tángeyoo
English (America, Australia, UK, New Zea.) Thank you
English (America) [informal] Thanks
English (Australia) Ta
English (New Zealand, Midland England) Cheers
English [Strine dialect] (Australia) Thenks
English [Strine dialect] (Australia) Enks
English [old English] (old Britain)[sing.] Ic þancas do
English [old English] (old Britain)[sing.] Ic þancie þe
English [old English] (old Britain)[plur.] Ic sæcge eow þancas
English [Texan] (Texas United States) Thank ya
[Eskimo, see Inuktitut and Inuttut]
Esperanto (international use) Dankon
Esperanto (international use) Dankon al vi
Estonian (Estonia) Tänan
Estonian (Estonia) Aitäh
Estonian (Estonia) [to a man] Ole meheks
Estonian (Harjumaa Estonia) Aitih
Estonian (Viru-Nigula Estonia) Aiteh
Estonian (Vastseliina Estonia) Tehnän
Eton (Cameroon) Abumgang
Eton (Cameroon) Abuimgang
Ewe (Ghana, Togo) Mudo
Ewe (Ghana, Togo) Akpe
Ewe (Ghana, Togo) Mudu, epenau
Ewondo (Cameroon) Abui ngan
Eyak (Alaska) 'Awa'ahdah
Fang (Gabon) Abora
Fante (Ghana, Burkina Faso) Medagse
Fante (Ghana, Burkina Faso) Medawagse
Faroese (Faroe Islands) Takk
Faroese (Faroe Islands) Takk fyri
Farsi [Persian] (Iran, Afghanistan) Merci
Farsi (Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan) Tashakkur
Farsi (Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan) Motehshakeram
Farsi (Iran) Mamnoon
[Filipino, see Tagalog and Visayan]
Fijian (Fiji) Vinaka
Fijian (Fiji) [very much] Vinaka vakalevu
Fijian (Fiji) [very much] Vinaka sara vakalevu
Finnish (Finland) Kiitos
Finnish (Finland) Kiitoksia
Finnish (Finland) [formal] Paljon kiitoksia
Finnish (Finland) [informal] Kiitti
[Flemish, see Dutch (Belgium)]
Fon (Benin, Togo) Ablo
Fon (Benin, Togo) A houanu
Fon (Benin, Togo) [very much] A houanu ka ka
Fon (Benin, Togo) [formal] E na ce nu we
French (France, Belgium, Africa, Canada) Merci
French (France, Belgium, Africa, Canada) Merci beaucoup
Frisian [Westerlauwer] (Netherlands) Tanke
Frisian [Westerlauwer] (Netherlands) Tanke wol
Frisian [Westerlauwer] (Netherlands) Tankje
Frisian [Westerlauwer] (Netherlands) Tankje wol
Friulian (northern Italy) Graciis
Fulani (West Africa) Jaaraama
Fulani (West Africa) [to one person] A jaaraama
Fulani (West Africa) [to several people] On jaaraama
Futuna (Wallis and Futuna) Malo
Futuna Aniwa (Vanuatu) Fafetai
Futuna Aniwa (Vanuatu) Jinisa
Ga (Ghana) Ogiwadong
Gaam (Eastern Sudan) Áwdém áalò
Gaam (Eastern Sudan) Àayyá
Gagauz (Moldova) Saa olsun
Galician (Spain) Gracias
Gallo (France) Mèrczi
Garifuna (Guatemala) Téngi nían bún
Gascon (France) Merci
Georgian [Kartuli] (Georgia/former USSR) Mahd-lob
Georgian [Kartuli] (Georgia/former USSR) Gmadlob
Georgian (Georgia) [to more than 1 person] Mahd-lobt
Georgian (Georgia) [to more than 1 person] Gmadlobt
German (Central Europe) Danke
German (Central Europe) Danke schön
German (Central Europe) Vielen Dank
German (Central Europe) [informal] Dank dir
German (Austria) [in spoken language] Dankschen
German (Bavaria) [in spoken language] Danksche
German (Switzerland) [in spoken language] Dank schön
German (Zurich Switzerland) [spoken] Dankë
German (Zurich Switzerland) [spoken] Dank schön
German (Zurich Switzerland) Merci
German (Zurich Switzerland) [very much] Merci villmahl
Gong (Thailand) Ang kêun
Greek [Hellenic] (Greece, Cyprus) Efcharisto
Greek (Greece, Cyprus) Sas efharisto
Greek (Greece, Cyprus) [very much] Efharisto poli
Greek (Greece, Cyprus) [very much] Sas efharisto poli
Griko (Salento Italy) Kali' sso'rta-ssu
Guarani (Paraguay, Brazil, Bolivia) Aguije
Guarani (Paraguay) Aguyje
Guarani [Mbyá] (Brazil) Ha'evete
Gujarati (India, Bangladesh, S. Africa) Aabhar
Gujarati (Gujerat State, India) Dhanyawaad
Gumatj (Australia) Ga'
Gurrangung (Australia) Yaddung jee
Gurung (Nepal) [to a child] Syaabaas
Gurung (Nepal) [to an equal or superior] Dxanyaa'baad
Gwich'in (Alaska) Mahsi'
Gwich'in (Alaska) Mahsi' choo
[Gypsy, see Romani]
G/wi [San] (Kalahari Africa) !kaen se !tau
G//ana [San] (Kalahari Africa) Kaen se !tau
Haida (Alaska) Háw'aa
[Hal-Pulaar, see Fulani]
Hän (Alaska) Mahsi'
Harari [Adare] (Ethiopia) Gaza yagabzal yushen
Harari [Adare] (Ethiopia) Alla magah
Hassaniya (Mauratania) Shukram
Hausa (West Africa) Na gode
Hausa (West Africa) Yauwa
Hawaiian (Hawaii) Mahalo
Hawaiian (Hawaii) [very much] Mahalo nui loa
Hebrew (Israel) Toda
Hebrew (Israel) [very much] Toda raba
[Hellenic, see Greek]
Helong (Timor, Semau Island Indonesia) Nodan mamomamo
Hindi (India, East Asia, Suriname) Shukriya
Hindi (India, East Asia, Suriname) Danyavad
Hindi (India, East Asia, Suriname) Dhanyawaad
Hiri Motu (Papua New Guinea) Tanikiu
Hmong Daw (Laos, Thailand) Ua tsaug
Hmong Daw (Laos, Thailand) Ua koj tsaug
Hmong Daw (Laos, Thailand) [very much] Ua tsaug ntau
Hmong Daw (Laos, Thailand) [very much] Ua koj tsaug ntau
Hmong Du (Vietnam) Ô chò
Hmong Njua (Laos, Thailand) Ua tsaug
Hmong Njua (Laos, Thailand) [very much] Ua tsaug ntau ntau
Hmong Njua (Northern Thailand) Zoo sab muab
Hñähñu (Mexico) Jamadi
Hoi San (China) U de
Hokkien [Chinese] (Singapore, Indonesia) Gum xia
Hokkien [Chinese] (Taiwan) Kam sia
Hopi (North America) [said by men] Kwakwhá
Hopi (North America) [said by women] Askwali
Hopi (North America) [said by women] Hevé
Hopi (North America) [very much, by men] Is kwakwhá
Hopi (North America) [very much, by women] Is askwali
Houailou (New Caledonia) Ei
Huambisa (Peru) See
Huambisa (Peru) Maake
Huaorani (Ecuador) Ewa ra
Huastec (Mexico) Jalbinchi yaan
Huastec (Mexico) C'ac'naamal yaan
Huave (Mexico) Dios mangüy ic
Huichol (Nayarit and Jalisco Mexico) Pan parius
Huichol (Nayarit and Jalisco Mexico) Pam parios
Hungarian [Magyar] (Hungary) Köszönöm
Hungarian [Magyar] (Hungary) Köszi
Hungarian [Magyar] (Hungary) [very much] Nagyon köszönöm
Hungarian [Magyar] (Hungary) [very much] Köszönöm szépen
Huron [Wyandotte] (USA, Canada) Yontonwe
Huron [Wyandotte] (USA, Canada) Ti-jiawen
[Ibo, see Igbo]
Icelandic (Iceland) Takk
Icelandic (Iceland) Takk fyrir
Icetot (Uganda) Ilakasugotia
Ido (international use) Danko
Igbo [Ibo] (Nigeria) Imena
Igbo [Ibo] (Nigeria) Imela
Igbo [Ibo] (Nigeria) Yâuwá
Igbo [Ibo] (Nigeria) Dalu
[Ik, see Icetot]
Ilokano (Philippines) Dios ti agngina
Ilokano (Philippines) Agyamanac
Ilokano (Philippines) [very much] Agyamanac unay
Ilonggo (Philippines) Salamat
Ilonggo (Philippines) Daghang salamat
Indonesian (Indonesia) [formal] Terima kasih
Indonesian (Indonesia) [informal] Makasih
Indonesian (Indonesia) [very informal] Thanks ya
Indonesian (Jakarta Indonesia) [slang] Trims
Ingush (Russia) Barkal
Ingush (Russia) [in spoken language] Barkl
Ingush (Russia) [lit. thanks be to you] Barkal xalda hwa
Ingush (Russia) [thank you very much] Saagha xalda hwa
Ingush (Russia) [thank you very much] Deala reaza xalda hwuona
Innu (Labrador and Quebec Canada) Tshinashkumitan
Interlingua (constructed) Gratias
Inuktitut (Baffin Island Canada) Qujannamiik
Inuktitut (Canada) Qujanaq
Inuktitut (Canada) [very much] Qujanarssuaq
Inuktitut (Canada) Mutna
Inuktitut (Canada) Nakorami
Inuktitut (Alaska) Taikkuu
Inuktitut (Barrow Alaska) Quyanaq
Inuktitut (Barrow Alaska) [very much] Quyanaqpaq
Inuktitut (Noatak Alaska) Taku
[Inupiaq, see Inuktitut]
Inuttut [Greenlandic] (Greenland) Qujanaq
Ioway (United States) [by men] Aho
Ioway (United States) [by women] Aha
Irish Gaelic (Ireland, Britain) [to one] Go raibh maith agat
Irish Gaelic (Ireland) [to more than one] Go raibh maith agaibh
Irish Gaelic (Ireland, Britain) Go raibh maith 'ad
Irish Gaelic (Ireland, Britain) [to one] Go raibh mile maith agat
Irish Gaelic (Ireland) [to more than one] Go raibh mile maith agaibh
Isamurongen (Batanes Philippines) Dios mamajes dinio
Italian (Central Europe, E Africa) Grazie
Itbayaten (Batanes Philippines) Ah Dios mamexes
Itbayaten (Batanes Philippines) Ah Dios mamexes dimo
Itbayaten (Batanes Philippines) Dios mamexes dimo
Itbayaten (Batanes Philippines)[very much] Rakux u kapamaxemaxes namen dimo
Ivasayen (Batanes Philippines) Dios mamajes dimo
Ivasayen (Batanes Philippines) [very much] Mamajemajes kami dimo su racuj
Itzaj [Itzá Maya] (Guatemala) D'yos b'ot'ik ti'ij
Itzaj [Itzá Maya] (Guatemala) D'yos b'o'tik
Itzaj [Itzá Maya] (Guatemala) D'yos b'o'tikil
Ixcatec (Mexico) Skanaa-ri
Ixil (Guatemala) Ta'n tiz
Jacalteca (Guatemala) Nich'an tiox
Japanese (Japan) Arigato
Japanese (Japan) Domo arigato
Japanese (Japan) [act of thanks not ended] Arigato gozaimasu
Japanese (Japan) [act of thanks has ended] Arigato gozaimashita
Japanese [Izumo] (Japan) Dan san
Japanese [Kansai Ben](Kansai, Osaka Japan) Ookini
Japanese [Kansai Ben](Kansai, Osaka Japan) Ookini arigatou
Japanese [Kumamoto] (Japan) Kora doshi
Japanese [Kyo Kotoba] (Kyoto Japan) Ohkini
Japanese [Shodoshima] (Shodoshima Japan) Ookini
Japanese [Tohoku Ben] (northeast Japan) Oshoshina
Japanese [Uchinaaguchi] (Okinawa Japan) Nihwee-deebiru
Jaqaru [Jacaru] (South America) Jilatyi
Javanese (Indonesia) Matur nuwun
Javanese (Indonesia) Kesuwun
Jèrriais (Jersey) Mèrci bein des fais
[Jula, see Dyula]
Kabuverdianu (Cape Verde) Obrigadu
Kabyle (Algeria) Tamemmirt
Kachin (Burma) Chyeju kaba sai
Kachin (Burma) Chyeju gaba sai
Kadazan (Sabah Malaysia) Kotohuadan
Kala Kawaw Ya (Australia) Eso
Kalmyk (Russia) Khanganav
Kanienkehaka [Mohawk] (Canada, USA) Niawen
Kanjobal [Q'anjob'al] (Guatemala) Yujwal Dios
Kanjobal [Q'anjob'al] (Guatemala) Yuj wal tyoxh
Kanjobal [Q'anjob'al] (Guatemala) Yuj wal ch'an tyoxh
Kannada (India) Dhanyawaadagalu
Kannada (India) Vandane
Kannada (India) Vandanegalu
Kanuri (Nigeria) Ardeneskin
Kapampangan (Philippines) Salamat
Kapampangan (Philippines) [formal] Salamat pu
Karaim (Trakai Lithuania) Tabu
Karakalpak (Uzbekistan) Rahmet
Karelian (Finland, Russia) Spassibo
Karelian [Tver] (Russia) Passibo
Karen (Thailand) Da blu
Karen (Thailand) [very much] Da blu do ma law
[Karen, see also Pho Karen and Sgaw Karen]
[Kartuli, see Georgian]
Karuk [Karok] (California USA) Yo-twa
Kasem (Ghana, Burkina Faso) De N lei
Kasem (Ghana, Burkina Faso) A ke lei naa
Kashmiri (India, Pakistan, China) Shukria
Kashmiri (India, Pakistan, China) Danawad
Kaurareg (Australia) Eso
Kaurna (Southern Australia) Ngaityalya
Kazakh (Kazakhstan, Central Asia, China) Rahmet
Kazakh (Kazakhstan, Central Asia, China) Rahmet sizge
Kekchi [K'ekchí] (Guatemala) Bantiox
Kekchi (Guatemala) B'antiox
Keres (Southwestern United States) Khuu'a
Keres (Southwestern United States) Da-waa-ee
Khakas (Siberia Russia) Aalghïstapcham
Khakas (Siberia Russia) Ispasiba
Khmer [Cambodian] (Cambodia) Ar kun
=Khomani (South Africa) /Aise
Khowar (Central Asia) Shukria
Khowar (Central Asia) Mehrbani
Khowar (Pakistan) Tazim
Kichagga (Tanzania) Haika
Kidavida (Africa) Chavucha
Kiembu (Africa) Ni waro
Kiga (Africa) Kazaare
Kiga (Africa) Webare
Kiga (Africa) Mwebare
Kiga (Africa) Yebare
Kiga (Africa) Otyo
Kiga (Africa) Osyo
Kikongo (Congo, Angola) Ntôndili kwami
Kikongo (Congo, Angola) Merci mingi
Kikongo (Congo, Angola, Cuba) Ndondele
Kikongo (Congo, Angola, Cuba) Ntandele
Kikongo (Congo, Angola, Cuba) Wuanka
Kikongo (Cuba) Nkimandi
Kikongo (Cuba) Manbote
Kikuyu (Africa) Ni wega
Kikuyu (Africa) Thengiu
Kikwe (Africa) Niwega muno
Kiluba (Congo-Kinshasa) Wafwa ko
Kinyamwezi (Africa) Wabeeja
Kinyarwanda (Rwanda, Congo-Kinshasa) Murakoze
Kinyarwanda (Rwanda, Congo-Kinshasa) [inf] Urakoze
Kiowa (North America) Aahóow
Kipsigis (Uganda) Kongoi
Kirgiz (Kyrgyzstan) Rakhmat
Kirgiz (Kyrgyzstan) Chong rakhmat
Kiribati (Pacific Is.) Ko rabwa
Kirundi (Burundi) Murakoze
Kisanga (Bunkeya Congo-Kinshasa) Tua santa
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) Asante
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) Aksante
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) Ahsante
Kisawhili (Southeast Africa) [to several] Asanteni
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) [very much] Asante sana
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) Shukrani
Kiswahili (Southeast Africa) Nashukuru
Kituba (Africa) Melesí
Klallam (Washington United States) Há'neng cen
Klallam (Washington USA) [to a friend] Há?neng cen, naschá?che
Klallam (Washington USA) [to friends] Há?neng cen, nescháye?che
Klallam (Washington USA) [to a friend] Neschá?che cxw
Klallam (Washington USA) [for a gift] Há?neng cen ?a? ce n's?éngateng
Koasati (Alabama & Oklahoma United States) Tâ
Koasati (Alabama & Oklahoma United States) Alí:la mó
Kohistani (Central Asia) Shukria
Koiari (Papua New Guinea) Maigo
Koiari (Papua New Guinea) Maiteka
Komi-Permyak (Russia) Atto
Komi-Zyryan (Russia) Attö
Konkani [Konknni] (India) Dhanyawaada
Konkani [Konknni] (Goa India) Dev borem korum
Korean (Korea) Komapsumnida
Korean (Korea) Kamsahamnida
Korean (Korea) [very informal] Komawoyo
Kosraean (Micronesia) Kulo
Kosraean (Micronesia) [very much] Kulo maluhlap
Kosraean (Micronesia) [very much] Kulo na maluhlap
Koyukon (Alaska) Baasee'
Koyukon (Alaska) Anaa basee
Krio (Sierra Leone) Tenki ya
Krio (Sierra Leone) Tenkey
Kuna (Panama) Dot nuet
Kupsapiny (Uganda) Keyi tapon
Kurdi [Kurmanji] (Iraq, Iran) Shukur
Kurdi (Middle East) Sipas
Kurdi (Middle East) Sipas dikim
Kutthung (Australia) Murromboo
Kwakiutl (North America) Gilakas'la
Kwakiutl (North America) [very much] Ah gilakas'la
Kwanyama (Angola, Namibia) Nda pandula
Kwéyòl (Haiti) Mèsi
Kwéyòl (Haiti) [thank you very much] Mèsi plen
Kwéyòl (Haiti) [thank you very much] Mèsi anpil
Kwéyòl (Haiti) [thank you very much] Granmèsi
Ladakhi (India, Pakistan) Od dju
Ladakhi (India, Pakistan) Jule
Ladin (Gardena Valley Italy) De gra
Ladin (Badia Valley Italy) Dilan
Ladin (Fassa Valley Italy) [to one person] Detelpai
Ladin (Fassa Valley Italy) [plural] Develpai
Ladino (Spain) Gracias
Ladino (Spain) Munchas gracias
Lahu (Thailand) Ah bo
Lahu (Thailand) [very much] Ah bo u ja
Lahu (China, Southeast Asia) Aw bon uija
Lahu (China, Southeast Asia) Da ja
Lahu (China, Southeast Asia) Òboi jâ
Lakhota (North America) [by female] Pilamaya ye
Lakhota (North America) [by male] Pilamaya yelo
Lakota (North America) [very much] Pilamaya aloh
Lao (Laos) Khawp jai
Lao (Laos) [thank you very much] Khawp jai lai lai
[Lappish, see Sami]
Latin (ancient Rome, Vatican) Gratia
Latin (ancient Rome, Vatican) Gratias
Latin (ancient Rome, Vatican) Gratias tibi ago
Latin (ancient Rome, Vatican) Gratiam habeo
Latvian (Latvia) Paldies
Latvian (Latvia) [very much] Liels paldies
Lenape [Delaware] (United States) Wanìshi
Lepcha (India, Nepal, Bhutan) Trok chi
Lingala (Congo-Kinshasa, Congo-Brazaville) Melesí
Lingala (Congo-Kinshasa, Congo-Brazaville) Matóndo
Lingala (Congo-Kinshasa, Congo-Brazaville) Natondi yo
Lingua Franca (Mediterranean) Gratzia
Lingua Franca (Mediterranean) [very much] Mouchou gratzia
Lisu (China, Burma, Thailand) Xual mu wa
Lisu (China, Burma, Thailand) Dut zoil
Lisu (China, Burma, Thailand) Atkel bboxmu
Lisu (Thailand) Ahku bumu
Lithuanian (Lithuania) Achiu
Lithuanian (Lithuania) Dekoju
Lithuanian (Lithuania) [very much] Labai achiu
Lithuanian (Lithuania) Dekui
Lithuanian (Lithuania) Labai dekoju
Lithuanian (Lithuania) [very sincere] Nuoširdziai dekoju
Livonian (Latvia, Estonia) Tienu
Livonian (Latvia, Estonia) Tenu
Loglan (international) Sia
Low Saxon (Eastern Friesland, Germany) Dank
Low Saxon [Northern Low Saxon] (Germany) Danke
Low Saxon [Westphalian] (Germany) Ek dank auk schoin
Low Saxon [Westphalian] (Germany) Sind auk viellmaols bedankt
Lucumí (Cuba, United States) Moducué
Luganda (Uganda) Webale
Luganda (Uganda) [very much] Webale nyo
Luiseno (United States) No$un looviq
Lummi (United States) Hy'shqe siam
Lunda (Zambia) Kusakililaku
Lunyankole (South Uganda) Webale
Lunyoro (West Uganda) Webale
Luo (Kenya, Tanzania) Erokamano
Lushootseed (Seattle Washington USA) Ck'wálidxw
Lushootseed (USA) [for food or drinks] Helí'dubshewx
Luvale (Zambia) Gunasakulila
Luxembourgish (Luxembourg) Merci
[Maa, see Masai]
Maasai [Maa, Masai] (Kenya, Tanzania) Aske
Maasai (Kenya, Tanzania) Ashi
Maasai [Maa, Masai] (Kenya, Tanzania) Ashi oleng
Maasai (Kenya, Tanzania) [very much] Ashi naling
Mabuiag (Australia) Eso
Macedonian (Macedonia) Blagodaram
[Magyar, see Hungarian]
Makhua (Tanzania) Asantte
Makhua (Mozambique) Kooshukhuru
Makhua (Mozambique) Marahaba
Malagasy (Madagascar) Misaotra
Malagasy (Madagascar) [formal] Misaotra tompoko
Malagasy (Madagascar) [very much] Misaotra indrindra
Malay (Malaysia, Brunei) Terima kasih
Malay (Malaysia, Brunie) [very much] Terima kasih banyak-banyak
Malayalam (India) Nandi
Malayalam (India) Valarey nanhi
Malayalam (India) Nanni
Maldivian (Maldives) Sabkaa
Malinké (Senegal, Mali) Ni ke
Maltese (Malta) Grazzi
Maltese (Malta) [very much] Grazzi hafna
Mam (Guatemala) Chjóonte
Mam (Guatemala) Chjoonta
Mam (Guatemala) Chjónta tey
Mam (Guatemala) [to more than one person] Chjónta che
Mambwe (Tanzania, Zambia) Sanco
Mampruli (Ghana) Mossi
Manchu (China) Baniha
Mandarin [Chinese] (China) Xie xie
Mandarin [Chinese] (China) Toa chie
Mandinka (West Africa) Abaraka
Mandinka (West Africa) [to one person] I ning bara
Mandinka (West Africa) [to several people] Al ning bara
Manx (Britain) Gura mie ayd
Manx (Britain) Gura mie eu
Manx (Britain) [thank you very much] Gura mie mooar ayd
Maohi (South Pacific) Mauruuru
Maori (New Zealand) Tika hoki
Maori (New Zealand) Ka pai
Maori (Cook Islands) Meitaki
Maori (Cook Islands) [very much] Meitaki ma'ata
Mapuche [Araucano] (South America) Krasia may
Mapuche [Araucano] (South America) Chaltu
Mapuche [Araucano] (South America) Chaltu may
Mapuche [Araucano] (South America) Traeltu
Mapuche [Araucano] (South America) Manumeimi
[Mapudungun, see Mapuche]
Marathi (India) Abhari ahi
Marathi (India) Dhanyawaadh
Marathi (India) Dhanyawaatha
Mari (Russia) Tau
Marquesan (French Polynesia) Koutai
Marshallese (Marshall Islands) Kommol
Marshallese (Marshall Islands) [very much] Kommol tata
Marshallese (Marshall Islands) [very much] Kwölukkuun emmol
Mashi (Bukavu Congo-Kinshasa) Koko
[Mayan, see Yucatec]
Mazahua (Mexico) Pöjö
Mazatec (Mexico) Natejchiri
Mazatec (Mexico) Nkhi k'a ninashitechino
[Mbisu, see Bisu]
Mende (Sierra Leone) Baiika
Mende (Sierra Leone) Bisse
Mende (Sierra Leone) Baika
Meriam Mir (Australia) Eswau
[Miao, see Hmong]
Mien [Yao] (Laos, Thailand) Laengz zingh
Mien [Yao] (Laos, Thailand) Laengz zingh meih
Mien [Yao] (Laos, Thailand) [very much] Laengz zingh camv
Mien (Vietnam) Tö' dun
Mikmaq (Canada) Welálin
Mikmaq (Canada) Weláliek
Mina (Togo) Akpe
Mina (Togo) [very much] Akpe ka ka
Minangkabau (West Sumatra Indonesia) Tarimo kasih
Minangkabau (West Sumatra Indoensia) [inf] Makasi yo
Miskito (Nicaragua) Tingki
Miwok [S Sierra] (South Sierra USA) Tengkiju
Mixtec (Oaxaca Mexico) [formal] Kúta'ùná
Mixtec (Oaxaca Mexico) [familiar] Kúta'ùrí
Mixtec (Oaxaca Mexico) Kúta'ù shãàrí nuùro
Mixtec (Estetla Mexico)[formal-to one p.] Niku tab'i
Mixtec (Estetla Mexico)[formal-to several] Niku tab'o
Mixtec (Estetla Mexico) [informal] Ta xa'u zin
Mixtec (Magdalena Peñasco Oaxaca Mexico) Cutahvixieensa
Mixtec (Magdalena Peñasco Oaxaca Mexico) Cacutahvixensa
Mixtec (San Juan Colorado Mexico) Tyáhvi nyóò
Miyako (Ryukyu Island Japan) Nihedebil
[Mohawk, see Kanienkehaka]
Mohican (North America) Wneeweh
Mohican (North America) Oneowe
[Mokpwe, see Bakweri]
Moldavian (Moldova) Multumesc
Mon (Burma, Thailand) Tang kun
Monegasque (Monaco) Merçì
Mongolian (Mongolia, Northern China) Bayarlalaa
Mongolian (Mongolia, Northern China) Gyalailaa
Mongolian (Mongolia) [very much] Tand ikh bayarlalaa
Mongolian (Mongolia) [for hospitality] Saikhan zochluullaa
Mongolian (Mongolia) [for help] Ta ikh tus bolloo
Mòoré [Mossi] (Burkina Faso) Wenatase
Mòoré [Mossi] (Burkina Faso) Barka
Mòoré [Mossi] (Burkina Faso) Mpuusda barka
Mòoré [Mossi] (Burkina Faso) [very much] Barka wusgo
Mopá-maya (Guatemala) B'o'tic
Mordvin (Russia) Syukprya
Morisyen (Mauritius) Mersi
[Mossi, see Moore]
Motu (Papua New Guinea) Tanikiu
Mpi (Thailand) Mèu mèu
Mpongwe (Gabon) Kewa
Muskogee (Oklahoma & Florida USA) Mvto
Muskogee (Oklahoma & Florida USA) Henka
Muskogee (Oklahoma & Florida USA) Ka
Muskogee (Oklahoma & Florida USA) Akvsv'mkv
Náhuatl [Aztec] (Mexico) Tlazohcamati
Náhuatl [Aztec] (Mexico) Icnelia
Náhuatl [Aztec] (Mexico) [very much] Tlazohcamati huel miac
Náhuatl [Aztec] (Mexico) [very much] Tlazohcamatzin
Náhuatl (Tepoztlan Mexico) Tlazocama
Náhuatl (Tepoztlan Mexico) Tlazocamatl
Náhuatl (Tepoztlan Mexico) Tlazocamati
Náhuatl [classical: Aztec Empire] Nictlazohcamati
Nakota (USA, Canada) Pinamaya
Nama (Namibia) Aio
Nandi (Kenya) Kongoi
Nandi (Kenya) Kaigai
Nandi (Kenya) Asai
Napulitano (Italy) Gràzzie
Natick (North America) Tobotonoque
Natick (North America) Ttaubotneanauayean
Natick (North America) Kuttabotomish
Nauruan (Nauru) Tsuba kor
Navajo (United States) Ahéhee'
Naxi (Yunnan China) Jjef bei seiq
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) Ngeyabonga
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) Ngiyabonga
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) Ngiyathokaza
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) [very much] Ngeyabonga kakulu
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) [very much] Ngiyabonga kakulu
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) [plural] Siyabonga
Ndebele (Zimbabwe) [plural, very much] Siyabonga kakulu
Ndjuka (Suriname) Gaantangi fi ye
Ndjuka (Suriname) Gaantangi
Ndjuka (Suriname) A bigi ba
Nenets (Russia) Nyarya bada
Nepali (Nepal, Bhutan) Dhanyabaad
Newari (India, Nepal) Su-bhaay
Nez Perce (North America) Qe'ci'yew'yew'
Nganasan (Russia) Xoasi
Nganasan (Russia) Nägê
Ngbaka (Africa) Dé kãã
Ngizim (Nigeria) Ná goodoota-ngaa naa ci
Ngoni (Malawi) Zikomo
Nias [North Nias] (Nias Island Indonesia) Sauha gölö
Nias [South Nias] (Nias Island Indonesia) Söwö gölö
Nigerian Pidgin (Nigeria) Thank yu
Nigerian Pidgin (Nigeria) Well done
Niuean (Niue, South Pacific) Fakaaue
Niuean (Niue, South Pacific) [informal] Ha ia
Niuean (Niue, South Pacific) [very much] Fakaaue lahi mahaki
Norwegian [Nynorsk, Bokmaal] (Norway) Takk
Norwegian [Bokmaal] (Norway) [very much] Tusen takk
Norwegian [Sortlandsk] (Sortland Norway) Takk
Ntomba (Africa) Ebóto
Ntomba (Africa) Ewata
[Occitan, see Provencal]
Ojibwe [Chippewa, Anishinaabe] (N.America) Miigwech
Okanogan (North America) Lim limt
Oriya (India) Danna waat
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Ulfaad'd'a
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Waaqni sii haa kennu
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Maharaba
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Galatoomii
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Galatomaa
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Fayyaa ta'aa
Oromo (Kenya, Somalia) Fayyaa ta'i
Osage (USA) We'-a-hnon
Osage (USA) Thla-ho
Ossetian (Caucasus) Arfö
Ossetian (Caucasus) Buznyg
Otetela (Lodja Congo-Kinshasa) Losaka
Paamese (Vanuatu) Hihuri
Paamese (Vanuatu) Namasmasuk
Pa'ikwene (Amazon) Kibeiné
Paipai (Mexico, USA) 'Ara'ya:ikm
Paipai (Mexico, USA) 'Ara'yai:km
Paipai (Mexico, USA) 'Ara'ye:km
Paiwan (Taiwan) Malimali
Paiwan (Taiwan) Masalu
Palauan (Palau) Sulang
Palauan (Palau) Msuulaang
Palauan (Palau) Ke kmal mesaul
Panamahka (Nicaragua) Tingkih
Papiamentu (Dutch Antilles, Aruba) Danki
Pashto (Afghanistan) Tashakkur
Pashto (Afghanistan, Pakistan) Sta na shukria
Pende (Congo-Kinshasa) Hambadiahana
[Penobscot, see Abenaki]
[Persian, see Farsi]
Pho Karen (Thailand) Hsà khawn hsá ta má' lâw
[Pidgin English, see Nigerian Pidgin, Pijin and Tok Pisin]
Pijin (Solomon Islands) Tanggio
[Pikanii, see Blackfoot]
Pipil (El Salvador) Paampa diyúx
Pipil (El Salvador) Padiux
Plattdeutsch (Germany) Dankscheen
[Plautdietsch, see Plattdeutsch]
Pocomchí (Guatemala) Rin dios awe
Pohnpeian (Micronesia) Kalangan
Pohnpeian (Pohnpei) Kalangen en Komwi
[Police Motu, see Hiri Motu]
Polish (Poland) Dziekuje
Polish (Poland) [spoken by several people] Dziekujemy
Polish (Poland) [familiar] Dzieki
Polish (Silesia region, Southern Poland) Dziynki
Polish (Silesia region, Southern Poland) Dziynkuja
Polynesian (Polynesia) Auw'e
Ponpeian (Ponpei) Kelangan
Popoluca (Mexico) Ni'ctíyus
Portuguese (Portugal, Brazil) [by male] Obrigado
Portuguese (Portugal, Brazil) [by female] Obrigada
Potawatomi (United States) Iwgwien
Potawatomi (United States) Migwe'c
Potawatomi (United States) Kcumigwe'c
Provencal [Occitan] (France) Mercé
Provencal [Occitan] (France) Gramaci
Provencal [Occitan] (France) [very much] Mercé plan
Pueblo [Acoma] (Southwestern USA) Da-wah-eh
[Pular, see Fulani]
Puluwat (Micronesia) Kilissow
Punjabi (India) Dhannvaad
Punjabi (India) Dannaba
Punjabi (India) Shukria
Punjabi (India) Miharbaanee
Punjabi (India) Tuhaadee kirpaa hai
Puyuma (Taiwan) Tayu'an
[Q'anjob'al, see Kanjobal]
Quechua Ancashino (Ancash Peru) Paylla
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho Peru) Yuspagrasunki
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho Peru) Dyuspagrasunki
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho Peru) Diyus pagapusonqa
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho Peru)[plural] Diyus pagapusonqacheh
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho Peru) [very] Anchata agradisiyki
Quechua Ayacuchano (Ayacucho)[very;plural] Anchata agradisiykicheh
Quechua Cochabambino (Cochabamba Bolivia) Diuspagarasunki
Quechua Cochabambino (Cochabamba Bolivia) Diuspagarapusunki
Quechua Cochabambino (Cochabamba Bolivia) Pachi
Quechua Cochabambino (Cochabamba Bolivia) Pachis
Quechua (Cuzco Peru & Cochabamba Bolivia) Yusulpayki
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco Peru) Yusulpaykinsunki
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco Peru) Yuspagarasunki
Quechua Cuzqueño (Peru)[to several people] Yuspagarasunkichis
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco Peru) Añay
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco Peru) Añachaykin
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco Peru) Grasias
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco)[very much/formal] Urpi sonqo
Quechua Cuzqueño (Cuzco)[very much/formal] Sinchitan añaychayki
Quechua Huancaño (Huanca Peru) Rasyas
Quiché [K'iche] (Guatemala) Maltiox
Quiché [K'iche] (Guatemala) [to a man] Maltiox tat
Quiché [K'iche] (Guatemala) [to a woman] Maltiox nan
Quiché [K'iche] (Guatemala) Sibälaj maltiox
Quiché [K'iche] (Guatemala) [for work] Cheri cha ai
Quichua (Ecuador) Pagui
Quichua (Ecuador) Pagui shungulla
Quichua (Ecuador) Diusulupagui
Quichua (Ecuador) Yupaichani
Rakhin (Myanmar) Chyee zu thon ree
Rapanui (Easter Island) Maururu
[Raramuri, see Tarahumara]
Resigaro (Peru) Kashoonopihku
Rohingya (Myanmar) Shukuria
Romani [Romany] [Gypsy] (Europe) Gestena
Romani [Romany] [Gypsy] (central Europe) Nais
Romani [Romany] [Gypsy] (central Europe) Nais tuke
Romani [Caló] (Spain) Najis tuke
Romanian (Romania) Multumesc
Romansch (Switzerland) Grazia
Romansch (Swizterland) Grazie
Romansch (Swizterland) Grazcha
Rotuman (Pacific Islands) Noa'ia
Rotuman (Pacific Islands) [said to child] Filo'montou
Rukai (Taiwan) Maulanenga
[Runasimi, see Quechua]
Russian (Russia) Spasibo
[Ryukyu, see Miyako]
[Saame, see Sami]
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) Giitit itt
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) Giittus
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) Giitus
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) [very much] Giitus eanat
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) Giihtu
Saami [Lappish] (Scandinavia) Gaejtho
Saami [Davvi Saami] [Lappish](Scandinavia) Giitu
Saami [Inari Saami] [Lappish](Scandinavia) Takkâ
Saami [Skolt Saami] [Lappish](Scandinavia) Spässep
Saami [Skolt Saami] [Lappish](Scandinavia) Spä'sseb
Saanich (Vancouver Island Canada) Hay sxw q'a
Saanich (Vancouver Island Canada) Hay sxw q'e
Saisiat (Taiwan) Muhuway su
Samoan (Samoa) Fa'afetai
Samoan (Samoa) [thank you very much] Fa'afetai tele
[San, see G//ana, G/wi and =Khomani]
Sangha (Mali) Birepo
Sango (Central African Republic) Mèrèsi
Sanskrit (ancient India) Anugurihiitosumi
Sara (Chad) Angen
Saramaccan (Suriname) Gaantángí fii
Saramaccan (Suriname) F&uacteu;únu
Sardinian (Italy) Grassias
Sarnami (Suriname, Holland) Dhanbaad
Sarnami (Suriname, Holland) Dhanjabaab
Sarnami (Suriname, Holland) Sukriya
Sarnami (Suriname, Holland) Soekoeria
Sasak (Indonesia) Matur tampiasih
Sasak (Indonesia) Tampi asiq
Saulteaux (Manitoba Canada) Miigwech
Savonian (Ylä-Savo Finland) Kiitoksija
Scottish Gaelic (Scotland) Tapadh leat
Scottish Gaelic (Scotland) [formal] Tapadh leibh
Scottish Gaelic (Scotland) [many thanks] Moran taing
Scottish Gaelic (Southern Scotland) [for.] Gun robh math agaibh
Scottish Gaelic (Southern Scotland) [inf.] Gun robh math agad
Scots (Scotland) Thenk ye
Scots (Scotland) Thank ye
Scots [Ulster Scots] (Northern Ireland) Thenks
[Seminole, see Creek]
Senoufo (Cote d'Ivoire, Mali) Minkari
Senoufo (Cote d'Ivoire, Mali) Minmonchar
Sepedi (South Africa) Ke a leboga
Serbian (Bosnia, Yugoslavia) Hvala
Serbian (Bosnia, Yugoslavia) [very much] Hvala lepa
Seri (Sonora Mexico) Yooz ma samsisíinxo
Serrere (Senegal, Gambia) Dioka ndjiale
Seselwa [Seychelles Creole] (Seychelles) Mersi
Seselwa [Seychelles Creole] (Seychelles) Gran mersi
Sesotho (Lesotho, South Africa) Ke a leboha
Setswana (Botswana, South Africa) Ke itumtese
Setswana (Botswana, South Africa) Ke itumela
Setswana (Botswana, South Africa) Ke a leboga
Setu (Estonia) Aiteh
Sgaw Karen (Thailand) Tà byu' dô law
Sgaw Karen (Thailand) Dah bluet
Shanghai (Shanghai China) Sha ja non
Shanghai (Shanghai China) Sha sha
Shanghai (Shanghai China) [informal] Sha ja
Shelta (USA, Ireland) [old;no longer used] Djeelsha grawsta
Sherpa [Helambu] (Nepal, Tibet) Thuchi chea
Sherpa [Solu] (Nepal, Tibet) Thuchi che
Shimasiwa (Comoros) Marahaba
Shina (Central Asia, India) Shukria
Shina (Central Asia, India) Bakhshish
Shipibo (Peru) Iráque
Shipibo (Peru) [very much] Ichabires iráque
Shona, see Chishona]
Sicilian (Sicily Italy) Grazzii
Silozi (Zambia) Ni itumezi
Silozi (Zambia) Litumezi
Silozi (Zambia) Nitumezi
Sindhi (Pakistan) Mehrbani
Sinhalese (Sri Lanka) Istuti
Sinhalese (Sri Lanka) [very much] Bohoma istuti
Siswati [Swazi] (Swaziland)[by one person] Ngiyabonga
Siswati [Swazi] (Swaziland)[more than one] Siyabonga
Slovak (Slovakia) Dakujem
Slovak (Slovakia) [formal] Dakujem vám
Slovak (Slovakia) [informal] Dakujem ti
Slovenian (Slovenia) Hvala
Slovenian (Slovenia) [formal] Hvala vam
Slovenian (Slovenia) [familiar] Hvala ti
Slovenian (Slovenia) [very much] Hvala lepa
Solresol (old; international) Sol Ti
Somali (East Africa) Mahad sanid
Soninke (Mali, Senegal) Nawari
Sorbian [Upper Sorbian] (eastern Germany) Dz'akuju so
Sorbian [Lower Sorbian] (eastern Germany) Z'e'kujom se
Spanish (Spain, America) Gracias
Spanish (Spain, America) [very much] Muchas gracias
Spokane (United States) Chn lm-s-cút
Sranan (Suriname) Grantangi
Sranan (Suriname) Tangi
Sranan (Suriname) Danki
Sudovian (Baltic region) Denkâ
Sudovian (Baltic region) Denkauja
Suqpiaq (Alaska) Quyanaa
Sundanese [Basa Sunda] (Indonesia) Hatur nuhun
Sursilvan (Switzerland) Engraziel
Suryoyo (Syria, Turkey) Tawdi
Suryoyo (Syria, Turkey) [very much] Tawdi sagi
Susu (Guinea) Inwali
Swabian (Central Europe) Dankeschee
Swabian (Central Europe) Dankschee
[Swahili, see Kiswahili]
[Swazi, see Siswati]
Swedish (Sweden, Finland) Tack
Swedish (Sweden, Finland) Jag tackar
Swedish (Sweden, Finland) [very much] Tack så mycket
Swedish (Sweden, Finland) [very much] Tackar så mycket
Swedish (Sweden, Finland) [very much] Stort tack
Tagalog (Philippines) Salamat
Tagalog (Philippines) Salamat po
Tagalog (Philippines) Salamat sa iyo
Tagalog (Philippines) [very much] Maraming salamat

[color:"red"] AMAZING THE BLESSINGS THAT I RECIEVE...MRS.WONDERING YOU HAVE A LOT TO DO WITH WHO MR.WONDERING IS...THANKS! [/color]

Strongest

Can't post a lot here right now, but please email me if you are not averse to such.

Linda

What I am saying Strongest is don't make idle threats. Make sure that the law favors you and your side, and then if you tell your WH something then MEAN it. Don't say anything you do not mean.

For example: He threatens you with something. Don't threaten back simply and confidently let him know that you don't think a judge will see his way and you are certain that your attorney doesn't so I guess we'll both just have to wait and see who's right. You are not threatening him but by golly you are letting him know (and whether you are scared to death or not doesn't matter her) that you are not scared of his idle threats, that you have researched your position and found it to be quiet good. This will peeve him in huge way....He will think..."who is this new Strongest, backtalking me and acting all confident and upbeat." This will drive him crazy, I promise you.

((((Strongest))))

LOL That's A LOT of Thank Yous...WOW...You are VERY WELCOME!(sorry...only one language <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )...Mr. W is a wonderful man, I am very lucky indeed...He has enjoyed helping you and has used your situation to try and educate me...Um, I must admit he loses me after a couple of minutes of it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />...

I wish you all the best in this difficult process...

Many Blessings,

Mrs. W

I agree w/silverpool. Here's my take:

If you leave the house, you are essentially handing everything to your WH and OW what they want on a silver platter. Your home regardless whether or not your FIL owns it, it is still your home, your sanctuary with your kids.

If you live in a community property, no fault state, you are entitled to half of everything! And I mean EVERYTHING! Yes, including debts acquired during your marriage. There are exceptions to this rule.

Your WH has more to lose. You can go after his pension/retirement, savings, AND spousal suuport for half the term of your marriage. And since you aren't working yet, your spousal support could be adjusted higher based on the "lifestyle for which you have become accustomed to". Additionally, you can also get your WH to pay for court costs. Your attorney can request for that. This may sound vindictive, but hey, no more vindictive that what your WH and the OW have done or trying to get you to do!

THe best thing you can do while you are negotiating a settlement is leave the emotions out of it. I know it's hard. But, you have to play smart. Don't give your WH any clue to what your next move is. Consider it like a poker game. Would you show him your hand if you expect to win?

Good luck...remember...KEEP the emotions out when you are negotiating and DON'T give him a peek of your next move!

Here's another tidbit of useful legal points to your advantage:

1. You have been married to you WS for 15 years. Great news! After 10 years of M, you are and can be entitled to spousal support (SS) indefinitely. And I mean INDEFINITELY. Check with your attorney. The spousal support usually will end when you remarry.

2. If your WH marries the OW, you can go back to court and have your SS modified AND INCREASED because the the amount will be based on their COMBINED income. Yes, that means the OW's income as well! Isn't this sweet?

3. If you live in a fault state where infidelity is frowned upon, consider yourself hitting a jackpot! The world (your WH and OW) could be your oysters.

4. If you WH has been making the mortgage payments and ALL household expense, be sure that your attorney requests that everything remain the same. This does not include the spousal support. The $80,000 that your WH is proposing to pay you outright is peanuts. DON'T SETTLE! He does NOT want you to go after a long-term (indefinite) SS. He's no dummy. The $80,000 is two years worth of income for most. Not only that there are tax consequences. You have to pay taxes unless you can get in in the form as a "gift". With a SS, over your lifetime, the SS will exceed $80,000. Make sure you ask for more on the SS to cover the taxes you will owe. The beauty of this that your WH and the OW will be reminded of their misdeeds every month whenever they have to write you a check. Hello!

5. If you were a stay at home mom during your marriage while your WH worked, the court will look at that in your favor and place a dollar value. The value is increased if you quit your job while your WH went to school, advanced his career in order to care for the children and home. So don't rush out the door to look for a job just yet. Wait until you get what YOU want and DESERVE, and the papers are signed. Don't even mention to you WH you will look for a job.

6. Child support is separate from spousal support. If you have custody of the kids, the court will calculate the amount based on his income and eventually their income if they marry prior to the kids reaching a certain age allowable by law for such support in your state.

One more thing, START collecting financial records. If you filed joint last year, get a copy of his W-2. Copy his most recent paystub, statements on his 401K, stocks, retirement, savings, life insurance and anything that has monetary value. Your attorney can get these items for you but it will also cost you. So start preparing for battle, girlfriend. Who knows, the OW might just walk away especially once she realizes she will also be impacted financially. If I were her, I would. He's not worth the battle.

So, stay calm, be SMART, and get your ducks in a row. If your attorney is not giving you these scenario/info, look for another one. Talk to friends and get referrals.

Good luck.
Stargazelily

Hi Any and Every Wonderful Person here in MB Land,

I've met with an attorney, I've got Mr. Wonderings notes, I've met with my IC...I'm ready for Monday's mediation. I'm feeling good!!

After much thought, two long...somewhat agonizing weeks...picking your brain's...my therapist's...my parents'...my new attorney's...as well as my gut instinct...I know what I want and what I'm entitled to ask for and I'm secure and ready to ask for it from a position of informed decision making.

I'm ready to assert myself and "fight" for what I'm worth. Thanks to everyone her who has given me words of wisdom, encouragement and support!!!!

[color:"blue"] Today's POJA: [/color]
Today my WS called me and left this message...informing me that our DSs were going out to dinner with MIL and then going back to MIL's to watch a movie and MIL has offered to have the DSs sleep-over and that one DS is interested while the other is still thinking about it.

WELL....it has become customary in to ask the parent who is not present (before permitting plans to formulate...)especially for a sleep-over...if they agree ...then MIL and our DSs can make plans.

WELL...I called and left a msg on WS machine...that WS is not to inform me of what our DSs will be doing but rather ask if I agree...

Well...he called right back and was hot...he accused me of a lot of different things...like not liking his family(ridiculous), like not liking him(I wanted to stay married), punishing the kids(whatever), being ridiculous in my request(good one), trying to tell me that "informing" is "like" asking for an agreement(just because I'm blonde....)

I STAYED THE COURSE!!!...I kept saying...let's stay on topic, task...talk about the here and now...finally I saw this conversation as a possible opportunity...I suggested we MAKE A DEAL...I said how about the DSs stay this one time under these conditions but in all other future arrangements WS, you will contact me first for agreement for the DSs to sleepover...he agreed (rather humbly(sp.) I might add)!! I asked him if he knew the difference between informing me and asking for agreement...he said yes...I said alright then it's done.

I said to WS.."have a nice night"(no sarcasm or bitterness.)

THIS IS A BREAKTHROUGH!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WS is still divorcing...but this is some of the best communication, problem solving that we have had in a very LOOOOONG time!!

Perhaps we will make better co-parents than spouses...

[color:"green"]Stargazingly: Thank you for all your thoughtful, informative words of advice!!! I'm printing them out to help me on Monday.
[/color]
Strongest

You're welcome!

I just replied to catgirl, who was/is married to her WH for 22 years! Instead of using the term "indefinite spousal support", for those of you married longer than 10 years, let me rephrase that in another legal term:

ALIMONY ***** ALIMONY ***** ALIMONY *******


Gather your documents, especially his W-2s, and most current paystub. Both document will show any bonuses/allowances from his company that he managed to hide from you including direct deposits. My bast*ard of a WH undestimated his bonus until I found his paystub! Go figure!

GOOD LUCK on Monday! Unless you're in a Fault State, leave your "feelings" outside your attorney's door. Have a plan on what you want and know what you are entitled to.

Stargazelily
Hawaiian gal underestimated by her stupid California WH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

One more thing. Do you remember the big news when Tom Cruise divorced Nicole Kidman just shy of their 10 year anniversary?

It's because the Mission Impossible man did NOT want to pay alimony!!!

[color:"purple"]Hello Multiple MB Believers,

Our mediator had to cancel our mtg. yesterday due to unforseen circumstances.

My WS's parents(...I thought it was him who asked them for the loan?...) gave me a two week time limit on the $60,000 offer.

In the AM we just talked about when we could meet again in the future so when the mediator called we could set a date.



later at the ranch....

When I returned from class at 10pm last night his hair was a mess, I could smell alcohol on his breath, he looked puffy, and his eyes had bags...he looked bad...in other words...stressed.

He said..."My dad's offer expires today...what's your answer?"
I said "I wanted to discuss it a mediation."
Him- "The offer wasn't contingent on any mediation meeting so are you asking for more time?"
Me- "No, if you want your answer right now, the answer is no thank you."
Him, angrily- "That is really smart of you!!"

I left the room...pretty much he follows me around the house trying to intimidate me, bully me, insult me...in order to just end it I go down to the basement.

He is confused. "I told him it is his choice...he can tell his father that the answer is no...or he can tell his father that he wants to wait until mediation to hear what I have to say about it." Either way the choice is his...he is livid...to say the least...OW must be nutz.

I'm so proud of myself being assertive and standing up for myself in every instance...yet not being vindictive or mean...I don't feel that anyway. I was happy and am...doing my own thing...He can't stand to see me so in control and happy.

He tried to give me an example from my past that would show where I've messed up before...I just interrupted him and said...I don't want to talk about the past...let's just stay on this one topic...HE WALKED AWAY FROM ME...saying sarcastically..."sounds like your education is doing you a lot of good!" (sounds like it...doesn't it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />...I still love the dickens out of this man...his tactics are becoming so much less effective and so much more obvious..."pay no attention to that man behind the curtain." Hee, Hee, Hee

Ok, Ok, Ok...I'm celebrating a slight power shift here...I'm not gloating in front of him...but I KNOW what is happening...he must too...and that must be why his tactics are so desperate.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Assertive Strongest (That is what I want to be...the strongest I can be...it will make him stronger too...in the long run I hope) [/color]