I mentioned in previous posts that I thought I was too hasty to file D. Perhaps wanted to change it to LS. My lawyer came back from vacation the other day, and we were in court getting temp. orders for support etc. I asked what could be done regarding that.

When I filed the papers to D, WH had the option of filing a cross complaint to ask the court for his own temp. orders. Since he did that, if I were to withdraw the D, it would automatically keep the D in process if he wanted it too. He wouldn't have to refile himself. The only way the D would be withdrawn completely, is if he withdrew it also.

Well since I was in court I withdrew the D. He was there too and said that he would not withdraw it also, so it is going forward.

Guess I was too hasty and now I'm paying for it!

Nothing I can do now legally at least. D should be final in a few months.

He's still living with OW. Just put her on his lease.

Our child was sick this weekend. Called once to see how DS was. Didn't bother to call today as he is away with OW. He's totally shut us out of his life and is very much absorbed with OW. She too has now filed D from her H.

I read how A's usually end within 6 mos. of exposure. Exposure did absolutely nothing. They could care less who knows. Well it hasn't been 6 mos. yet, but I don't see this A ending at all.

I really think he could care less about getting back together with me. He has OW and he's going forward with D.

Yes I am trying to focus on me, do things for me, but I am tired of that.

I guess I want to fix what haste did, and now I can't. He won't hear anything of it. Kind of... well you made your bed, now lie in it attitude.

No, he made and is making his bed and he can and will lie in it, trust me Cat.

Let these two love birds enter into the real world and with their attitudes toward marriage being disposable I will give them 2 years and one or the other will have another A with someone else.

You keep getting stronger and working on you and there is someone out there for you and your children that makes WH look like the alien, loser he has became as a result of being addicted to his A partner.

Thanks Hope!

They've been living togehter for 3 mos. now. Things seem to be going well for them.

I don't know, I just want to say I did everything I could before I D'd and I still feel that I should have done things differently, that's all, like file LS first.

Hindsight is 20/20, isn't that what they say?

Cat -
As you may recall we are fighting the fight in the same ranks.

Let it be said that I don't think you were too hasty. If the waves of pain come and go as mine do, you did something strong. You had to take care of you and your son. Imagine fighting w/o the security and balance that you were smart enough to stand up for.You did that for you!

I don't buy into the whole Hindsight is 20/20. Would you honestly feel any diff. if it you filed a LS in the first place? Chances are you'd doubt that too.
We will have doubts no matter what we do. That's where we are.

You say you are tired of doing something for yourself -
I UNDERSTAND I feel it.
Can you try something different? Something just juvenile for fun???

WH had the kids today all I wanted to do was lay in bed and was justifying it with "I'm doing something for myself"
But it wasn't the 'right' thing. I peeled myself up went to church, my first Al-anon mtg. and drove to the beach and stayed in the water like i did as a kid.
Did I have a happy day? Not exactly, I mourned the loss of my family moments (a lot).
But as I sit here at the end of the day. I have hope that I can be me w/o him.
That a better life is in my control and is ahead of me.

I have to work on not obsessing about WH's next move. I have to let go that I have any strength through the fog.

There are ways to have your lawyer drag out the D.
Discuss this w/your lawyer but play those cards close to your chest.

Try to keep your pride in the progress you have made.

I'm so so sad for you. But better days are ahead of you (sorry that the ugly ones may come first).

You reminded me to have patience once before.
Good Luck.
I'm listening.
Michelle

oh cat....i'm so sorry that you weren't able to get the filing withdrawn

my h acts just like yours....he seems happy with his new life with the OW

when i exposed....everyone already knew my H was seeing the OW again and they also knew he was living with her ...i was the last to find out that he was even seeing her again...so my exposure was worthless and humiliating

they have now been living together for over a year.....my H did file for divorce but he withdrew the filing when i told him that i would counterclaim adultry

i've done everything that i could possibly dream up to stall his being able to file again

we seem to be in hopeless situations and yet we still love these men so we do.....hope....don't we

You can drag out the D and it may be enough time for the fog to lift. They are still in lala land right now. I agree with the 2 year mark. I know it hurts. I'm sorry. But do not be afraid to stand in front of the judge and tell him that you do not want a divorce. Pulling out was good, now all of the ultimate responsibility for the D is on your WH.

I don't know much about the court system, but how do I drag out the D?

WH seems anxious for it to be over in a few months.