If you are new to these boards as I was about a year ago, you are coming here at an odd time when the very principles that I believe these boards represent are under attack.
I risk the wrath of the moderators and the memebers I will call out here... but someone needs to take a stand before more people like BobP decide to leave these baords in frustration over some exceptionally questionable positions taken here. I am only offering an opinion that these posters are to be avoided by new members in search of how to best deal with the trauma they are experiencing...

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I am sure that all of these people have something positive to offer.. I just do not feel that it is to those in the early stages of recovery. Had I encountered any of them early on, I may have been driven from these boards.
Make up your own mind and seek out those that will be supportive of YOUR marriage.

MEDC-
Glad to see you've found a hill to fight on--in case BobP decides to die on his.

You are right, this is a particularly weird time for me on MB. I joined in July of last year, I guess a couple of months before you?

Now that I'm here during a crisis, it is very hard to stay focussed. There are some really decent, Christian or otherwise, people here. Each has their own opinion about what is "right vs. wrong." When polarizing forces come into this forum, we see friends fighting friends. It's almost a civil war, IMVHO.

Not everyone will epitomize the MB principles, but at the very least, we should certainly respect them.

Thank you.

Have NO Fear! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SomeOne will be along Soon Enough ....to "tattle" on you and your MEAN thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Keep looking out for the newbies though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Those of us that been here awhile can take care of ourselves! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

If you are new here and need some help... read all the site has to offer... seek out some of the veterans (and some new people too) that have been of wonderful help to me. They may offer a helping hand when needed or a kick in the pants... it all depends on what the situation calls for.. their hearts will always be in the right place.

Hey, better yet, can you list some of the vets I NEED to pay attention to?

Obviously, WAT, PEP, BobPure, but I am still newish here and I don't know everyone.

Thanks!

I have great results with Melodylane, pepperband, Bigkahuna, Plank to name a few... don't forget to reach out to the Harley's too for a gameplan. You will be found and will find those that help you most... the above all helped me... got kicked in the rear sometimes, but I needed it!

well, I knew that would happen and I understand why... if you have a question about a particular poster... ask it... I will answer with what is my opinion to an email address only.
But the above people should be a great place to start...
if a person supports
no contact 100% of the time
feels that a BS always has the right to know (their own spouse or the OP S)
not justifying A's
not minimizing the impact on a family
not legitimizing A's in anyway
you most likely have a good start.

Do you feel that MB is under a coordinated attack from some outside group (or a person posting under multiple names)?

-AD

Yes.. I do. Most likely a board like TOW (the other woman). And I believe there is one poster here that has used several names to post her garbage. I have a feeling she will be toast in no time though.

AD I would like to add you, resilient and Justpeachy to the list of those that I think would be a great resource for a new person in need.

Justus,

I know that moderating is a volunteer position - and that it is often thankless as well. I thank you for carrying out this difficult role.

But...

Is there some rule that one can only mention another poster's screen-name in a positive light?

It seems to be OK to make a list of people one agrees with, but not OK to make a list of those with whom one disagrees.

I resent the editing of mkeverydaycnt's post.

Of course, some of the posters here obviously have an outside agenda, and they are easy to spot, but for the less experienced, in a desparate situation, it might not be so easy.

Can I say "I disagree with what <fillintheblank> said"?

Can I say "I disagree with what posterNumber1 and posterNumber2 said?

Can I say, there are three people here who I consistently disagree with (and list them)?

What are the rules?

-AD

I missed the names.... was I one of them?

L.

Justus,

Further....

I believe that this forum is primarily a mechanism through which MarriageBuilders(tm) counselling services are sold. There is nothing wrong with that, and we should all understand that the people who pay the bills are naturally the ones who make the rules.

Honestly, I think that there are some posters so hostile to MB priniciples that they are harmful to the business interests of MarriageBuilders (as a business), and also that these same posters are harmful to people honestly seeking guidance in their marriages. I don't know how that best should be handled, but I think that allowing the board to be to some extent self policing has clear advantages. If the MB corp. comes in and blocks, edits or otherwise removes these hecklers, then many folk might feel that they are trying to silence honest disagreement to the principles they teach, but if ordinary folks who have tried to apply those prinicples to thier lives - do as mkeverydaycnt has done, I think that should be acceptable.

It is only my opinion.

-AD

No, Orchid, you were not one of them.

And I respectfully disagree with the edit too... I stated upfront it was only my opinion.

okay... let's try this as it is more specific and less attacking.

when it comes to there being any reason why the wife of an affair partner should not be told of the infidelity.. I disagree with Suzets position.

When it comes to the ow that is looking for justification of their affair marriage I disagree with Newpinkpaige and Justjilly and IWRA.

When it comes to a general lack of acceptance to MB principles, I disagree with Blackopal and Cinnamonsugar and CFC.

Of course there will be those that agree with their positions... that why they make chocolate and vanilla.

I hope that just defines a difference of opinions rather than approaching this in any other fashion.

MEDC.

I also think that MB principles are under attack.

I hope they worry...those "scavengers" from the other board...for I can go a hunting too. What they should know at Tow is that people like ME are reading there too...stealing their insecurities...seeing their worries...seeing their instabilities...and turning it on them. I do. I read it, I post about it sometimes. I sure do. Psych warfare baby. And I ain't afraid to use it!

but we are under attack.

And on a night when ONE OF OUR OWN IS IN FOR THE FIGHT OF THEIR VERY LIFE.

I don't appreciate their presence. Their mere continuance to post when somebody was potentially suicidal here shows their lack of caring, of morality, and basic decency.

Justuss...I hope you can find a way to repel these sharks. They have no purpose here. They're not a BS. They're not marriage building. They're here to be...well...cruel to many who are hurting and of no help. No good at all.

i am saddened that many people keep posting on usless threads started by these people and responding to posts from them

some of the people who are responding to them are ones that i really believed in and i am so surprised that they are using their time is such a way when so many here really need help

please, please IGNORE them so they get the message that they are not wanted here

If we did not respond to those threads and show the true nature of the poster... a newbie might start taking advice from them and find themselves ina world of trouble. It is not the time to be meak when you are under attack.

Justuss,

I agree with AD about listing posters names. It is MEDC's opinion, not an attack. His viewpoint. Radical honesty, I think.

Having said that...do the asterisks indicate one for each character removed?

C'mon, tell me.

LA

let's try this as it is more specific and less attacking.

when it comes to there being any reason why the wife of an affair partner should not be told of the infidelity.. I disagree with Suzets position.

When it comes to the ow that is looking for justification of their affair marriage I disagree with Newpinkpaige and Justjilly and IWRA.

When it comes to a general lack of acceptance to MB principles, I disagree with Blackopal and Cinnamonsugar and CFC.

Of course there will be those that agree with their positions... that why they make chocolate and vanilla.

I hope that just defines a difference of opinions rather than approaching this in any other fashion.

MEDC.