I sometimes wonder if some of the changes in the board and the "ganging up," are at all due to the existence of the other board which, by invitation only, has numerous MBers discussing individual situations and the board in general

So, there is another board????

What board is this and what is its agenda on Marriage Builders?

If there is a collective effort to promote thinking beyond the parameters of the Marriage Builders Concepts...if the posters involved are using this other board to gossip and conjecture about MB threads, it is easy to see why there has been so much upheaval on the boards lately.

If there is a larger secret panel of judges involved, it makes sense that the rest of us should know who the panelists are.

Hey, I never got invited to be in that club either...
not turtley enough, I guess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I'm not very astute either, because I didn't even know of it's existance, and now that I do...

well,

frankly, my dear I don't give a damn. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

But I can see how it seems a little...yucky.

Knewbetter, you might be interested in what I've posted to Mkeverydaycnt's thread a while ago since I think it might be very applicable to this thread:


I wonder if I was discussed on this specific "other board" or was it due to some other "off-board" discussions which have taken place about me and other individuals?

It all indeed seems very “yucky” to me too… <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Reading Mel's stuff all these years, I doubt that there was back-biting going on there.

Not being invited to join brings up old childhood wounds of not being "picked", or not being invited to someone's slumber party.

That is what I meant by yucky, but I don't think anyone should jump to those old school wounds though, because in this case I doubt you or anyone else was being "talked" about.

You've been slammed pretty good here lately Suzet, by some, so this is for you.

(((((((Suzet))))))

Don't despair, my good friend weaver. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The board was set up for ppl here who had to flee this board because of WS', OP's, etc reading their posts. It was open membership for quite a while, no big secret. We have since closed the doors to keep it as small and private as possible. So if ya ever have to flee this board for any reason, you have my email! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Suzet.. I don't think anyone has done anything behind your back. You accused me at one point of speaking behind your back when my post was right there for you to read on this forum... and it didn't matter that it was directed to FH... it was right there for all to see.

You may be right that no one has said my exact quote... but people called you out on your actions... right to your face. There was nothing back door about it.

Doesn't having another board, veer off the MB principle of radical honesty in of of itself???

I absolutely respect the atmosphere and vehicle that the Harley's have provided here.

The rules and moderators are set up to prevent personal relationships from forming...as this sets up people in a very bad place...to easily overstep boundaries.

The PM feature of the board was also disabled specifically for this reason.

Talks also rose for private sections...which was also frowned upon by the founders...and going against the principles of radical honesty.

Dangerous territory.

YOu would have to ask someone else about that. But it is my opinion that radical honesty is a principle for the married couple.
As far as personal relationships forming... I see nothing wrong with personal relationships in and of themselves... just not between male/female in an inappropriate way.
Just my opinion.

Thank you ... I think that's the right idea, and I have taken you up on the suggestion.

What in the world ARE you talking about?? Radical Honesty is a principle to be used in MARRIAGES. The concept doesn't even APPLY so I have no idea what you mean. There are numerous other spin off boards off of Marriage Builders. MB has no control over other boards their members belong to.

Why does this have to be limited to marriages. Wouldn't you want to extend this concept to other relationships where possible? Such as applying them on the marriage building site that promotes them?

I never got an invite either. oh well.

Of course I advocate honesty in my relationships. Who wouldn't be for that? But that has absolutely nothing to do with what others do on another private board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

nor WILL I answer any question about what happens on my board, because it is private. The folks who have come there count on complete privacy and they will get it.

.

Melody, so this is your group then… you do understand that the revelation of a separate board raises questions given the recent climate of the forum.

You are not being asked to answer for your members of course that is up to them individually.

Since this morning, two former members have accused members of your group of gossip and actively trying to prevent specifically targeted posters from getting help on MB so I do feel the MB community has the right to know what your board’s agenda is. You don’t need to violate anyone’s privacy to answer this question Mel, it is your board and you set the TOS.

Harley as you know, does not make the distinction against counseling an affair marriage, nor does he always advise exposure to the extent that some would like.

I realize you are running a private board but it appears that your members are also posting here and causing dissention because they disagree with Dr. Harley. What is your board’s official position on these issues?

If your board philosophy differs from Harley’s , do you have a policy or plan in place to prevent any further problems arising from your members while they are guests on the Marriage Builders forums?

knewbetter, not that I owe you any explanation, but they are NOT "my members." They are individuals who have their own minds. There are members on my board who AGREE with the support of affair marriages and there are members who DISAGREE with the support of affair marriages. Most of those HERE on MB who disagree with such support ARE NOT EVEN ON MY BOARD.

ALL are staunch advocates of Marriage Builders principles, although they are not mind numbed robots who can't disagree with this or that element.

You need to find yourself a new witchhunt, knewbetter, because I assure you that this is a VERY DRY HOLE. And making false accusations against people with crap you just made up does not exactly soothe the dissension.

not a witchhunt... you're on the mark KB.

see...the defending MB thread.

How sad...

umm no, it is witchhunt. The allegation is unfounded.

knewbetter, do you imagine that anyone who is against AFFAIR MARRIAGES does not have a RIGHT to express that viewpoint? There are many well meaning, sincere people who do not believe that affair marriages belong on this site.

I am not sure where I stand on that point, but I am aghast at your lack of understanding and TOLERANCE for that position. They have every right to express such a viewpoint and to express their REAL GRIEF at having to endure an affair marriage. Why would you DISMISS them in such a way?

ok...I'm really just to blown away by all of it

I guess...by unfounded...it's implied that the person making the allegation is lying. Even if it is a person that was a member? And knows first hand?

I think alot of people might feel duped. I know I do. I'm not entirely sure that was the intent of the MB forum...but it sure rendered that end result for me at least.

bij, I think that your attempt to fan the flames as much as possible is sickening, but I am not surprised. That is about the only time we ever see you over on this board. If you want to imagine that you are being gossiped about on other forums, then be my guest, but your fear is entirely unfounded and this is silly.