Ok. As usual...probably 3x a year, we have a verbal altercation revolving around school, the multiple children from multiple mommies and daddies (her kids..one by my xh, one by her xbf, and my son by my xh)and schedules.....

During this verbal altercation a few minutes ago...while at his desk...pontificating as usual...darth says...

"You need to understand Peach...I SOLVE PROBLEMS...very complex ones each day. YOu get mad at me b/c I offer you the solutions...You don't think of them, I do. I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO YOU FOR A LONG TIME NOW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />and I know how you think." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

WT* IS THAT? DOESN'T THE IDIOT KNOW WE'ERE DIVORCED. I said, "Uh what is that?" He says..."well it's been a long time that's what I mean."

SO...the still ever XWpontificatingH slipped. He behaves this way b/c he still thinks we're married. What a dolt.

And he thinks the wistress? What does he think? I said it to him...JUST B/C YOU HIRED A LONG TERM BABYSITTER DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR SOLUTIONS FOR OUR ISSUES. He just huffed and puffed.

What is with this man? We've been divorced now for 2.5 years....he still thinks this?

Time for a margarita. And to listen to some more downloads like "I will survive"...

bleech.

I know he thinks his affair marriage is invalid..heck we all do...BUT I AM NOT THIS MAN'S WIFEY.

I don't take his *******. I don't. I am sick of dealing with him. I know his idiot marriage is falling apart...and I am sick of hearing about it. If iever hear "but peach I make serious decisions...i have sixty employees" ****...I am gonna drive over to the ape man's office and hurl on his ten thousand dollar desk. **** monkey.

am i gonna have to fax over the signed decree to the man? Am I gonna have to ask the POPE for help here..or somebody to finally tell this man we're divorced?

It explains everything now! Why he doesn't stop. Why he is obsessed with futile attempts at getting into my life and his wanting to "become my friend". The idiot thinks he is living in maybe Iraq or something?

I am sorry .........but I am not into polygamy or harems!

>end rant<

LOL Peach

I sure hope this is a lesson to the wistresses out here lurking...and posting...

MY VERY WAYWARD XH...the one who married his mistress? Yea THAT GUY...

He still thinks he's married to me girls! Yea how's about that? How's about that for hearing how valid an affair marriage is?

My former husband still calls me his WIFE! yea. this slip btw hs happened quite a few times since the divorce. When there are decisions to be made, or issues to discuss, he falls into my being the wifey and him being well..the sith overlord cheating cakeating fence sitter he is.

But the point I am making is valid....and that point is...

AFFAIR MARRIAGES ARE INVALID! EVEN THE AFFAIR PARTNERS APPARENTLY BELIEVE IT SO!

I couldn't believe it. It was wierd. And after last night's discussion up here.

Now it makes it honestly a bit sweeter...knowing that I am the only one TRULY SINGLE AND FREE after the divorce.

I fought...I FOUGHT FOR MY FAMILY...FOR MY MARRIAGE...FOR MY CHILD TO HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY LIFE...only to have two women to openly conspire and plan to kill off a family. Sure, my xh was willing to...he's a fogged out brain hormone junkie who loves to be hero worshipped daily. But he had it good at home. Sure did. And now I guess he knows it all to sadly?

Respect comes from staying true to your vows and committments in life. And sadly, his affair wife, the wistress, WILL NEVER HAVE THAT...as sadly, her own husband feels SHE IS INVALID. And that their sham of a marriage is well...A SHAM! She hates it when he talks to me. She hates it that he and I deal with issues and try to work at them for our ds. She hates she's "outta the chair of power". But oh well. She has the power when she births em'. Not mine. Not ever.

And sadly, I know now that my xh would probably do anything if he could JUST TURN BACK TIME...NOT GET HER PREGNANT ACCIDENTALLY...NOT CHEAT...NOT LOSE EVERYTHING...it is sad.

He talks amicably about me..bragging sometimes about my work accomplishments to his partner in the business and to mutual friends. It's wierd and scary. And then he rants and raves when he can't control me or my decisions anymore in the present aside from that. It is a total love/hate/anger relationship he has with me.

And yes I am detached. Living happily alone and trying to make sense of being single. He? He's sadly living with his affair partner trying to make sense of a bad situation. And he has NOT detached.

For you see, when affairees instantly shack up after leaving their valid marriages, their families...a funny thing happens...NO HEALING! yep. No time for reflection..soul searching...any last minute work to save things..and of course a WS CANNOT GRIEVE FOR THEIR LOSSES WHEN IN THE COMPANY OF THE OW OR OP. THEY CANNOT. THEY MUST STUFF IT ALL DOWN INSIDE OF THEM SO THEIR AFFAIR PARTNER CAN'T SEE THEIR TRUE PAIN...the pain that comes from when somebody's conscience is ripped FROM THEIR VERY SOUL.

And this is why I believe all affair marriages pretty much are doomed. There are stones left unturned. I know. We had financial ones. Legal ones...and of course emotional ones. I think i have gotten thru the emotional ones actually better than darth did.

Darth denied himself the chance to learn from his mistakes. Darth denied himself the chance to heal and grow. Darth denied himself the chance to cry. Darth denied himself that last chance to just "see" if things could ever work....his affair partner wouldn't allow that to happen. And darth had to stuff it all down..down to the dark place nobody can see...but where he can feel it.

And he has cheated rampantly on her. Nonstop. He is angry all the time. Miserable...yet all the while building a castle to the glory of himself...hoping upon hope that maybe one day some "thing" will give him the happiness he is searching for. That maybe someday some THING will free him from this invisible prison. That maybe if he gathers and buys enough things...his conscience will not scream at him at night.

Whoopsie, somebody's (x-WH) FOG is showing. LMAO!

p.s. Peach ... the man is delusional. He thinks he has himself a harem.

Unfortunately, I keenly recognize the behavior. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I'm wit u.

Getting ready to go to get a margarita.

And miffed at this board.

I am miffed b/c I feel well...miffed.

Angry that psycho ow are out here trying to validate stupid affair marriages. Angry that my xh is so fogged out he still believes I AM HIS PROPERTY...HIS LEGAL RIGHT...

Just THREE DAYS AGO..I get an email joke from my xh...I am gonna what the heck post it here. He said it "reminded him of me"...and that HE COULD NOT RESIST sending it to me...

here's darth's joke:
Gambling Blonde/

> > /Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.
> > A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived ....and bet
> > twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
> >
> > She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
> > when I play topless."
> >
> > With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and
> > yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"
> >
> > As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and
> > squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
> >
> > She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her
> > winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
> >
> > The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one
> > of them asked, "What did she roll?"
> >
> > The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

> > Moral ---
> >
> > Not all Southerners are stupid.
> > Not all blondes are dumb.
> > But, all men..... are men./


And you wanna think this man doesn't see me as his property? He still thinks that a divorce still constitutes some sort of bond. A legal parenting bond only. And I am freaking sorta out after the recent events.

Peach, I know he is a stoopit idgit. And I know you are a smart woman. But, really, I think you need to let go of some of the poison in you.

I know you are well qualified and respected in your work world. And I know you do the best you can for your son.

But you are giving darth too much power over you. You allow him to trigger your anger. You haven't given that anger up yet.

I know he makes stoopit mistakes. I know he is the champion of dispicable x's.

But, I sense there are unresolved issues in you.

Yess...unresolved issue is now resolved..you know about that one...

I am gonna limit further contact albeit we have to have some contact about school, pickups/dropoffs/sports and the such.

I am not able to not parent with him. Will just shift to email more likely than actually speaking with him.

right now I am numb.

Thank you Justuss!

Peachy, I am worried about you . . . what would it take to let you feel better?
Mulan

2 margarita's and a fuzzy navel. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I drank the fuzzy navel tonight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

Peach is gonna let go in her own way. For many years she has had to suppress her feelings just to survive. Only of late has she been able t/b amused by the antics of the Ws. Btw, he is sitll a WS. He really never recovered from being a WS.

Notice the difference between this WS and the WS who married and move forward? Both were WS. One still is and one ain't no more. Both carry the scars. One still creates fresh wounds.

Peach is a strong and beautful gal. Those days of her feeling down the in the dumps are over. She will have her down days like all of us do. Regrets, there are a few but you notice how she can bounce back.

Don't take away one of her healing tools right now. Just like the mind and heart syncing before a good plan B c/b enacted, letting go while tied with children.....it takes time.

You all don't know the rantings and ravings of other BS' and Xbs now do you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz Peach..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Hi Peachy - have you thought about taking away his intimacy with you? this might serve as a jolt. You could...

email him to say that you have reflected on his comment and recent behavior and concluded that he is confused about the nature of your relationship. Then tell him you think it is best if you conduct all coorosponance over email, that you will only be talking to him about your son, and that you will copy all of your corrosponace to him to his current wife. this will give him some accountability and he will have to squarely deal with the fact that he IS married and he IS NOT married to you. this doesn't mean you endorse the marriage, just that you are willing to hold him accountable. When he starts a self-love speech (ie., "I am so important that I make decisions every day" etc) just ignore him. be polite, but be short and communicate only regardling your son.

while you are at it, plan an escape for every weekend visit he has with your son. go to a nearby city and overnight with a girlfriend or alone. if you frequent one of those last-minute sites, you can get a plush room for the price of a bare-bones accomidations. taking a gf can also cut costs. it doesn't have to be expensive - you can cut out weekday esspressos to save, or take your own snacks, only do free events, widow shop, take long baths, do art stores 9these are great free entertainment). if you have a group of GFs and can coordinate visitation weekends with them, you can all go and set some groundrules - no talking about Xs and no looking for new mates. you might just build a fab network. Anyway, tell your X that if he needs to contact you, he must call your cell and then tell him nothing else. if he asks, just say that you are nto conformatable discussing your free time with him. the best revenge is to live well and enjoy your life. your happiness and freedom will be a harsh contrast with his M discord. also, always speak softly and be polite, even when you say, "I'm sorry, I just can't go there with you."

opps - "window shop" NOT "widow shop" and tell him to call you only in the event of an emergency.

(((justpeachy)))