Husband and I have been working on separation agreement via email. Decided we could do it ourselves without lawyers. I did consult a lawyer when he first left and showed him what husband had proposed financially and she said it was quite generous and much above the standard (guilt??)

So I've sent back to him this past weekend, my third revision. Just wondering what others have included in their separation agreements or if there are free online ones to look at.

In ours:
-details about marriage date, separation date, full names
-details about daughter's custody/guardianship
-financial details
-details about husband providing notice for request to spend time with dog
-details about not selling,giving away,spending, trading, etc any assets without other's permission
-husband agreeing not to touch my pension, personal savings,bonds (this one he is having issues with)
-vet bills (he's having issues with this - doesn't want to pay for the daughter's cat, just the dog)
-husband not allowed in house, yard, garage without being accompanied by wife
-statement about not incurring debt in other's name

that's all I can think off right now. I hate to have something like this in place, when I want him back in our marriage. But I have to be smart and protect myself and teenage daughter.

thanks again in advance,

get a lawyer....

ark

Fog can have its advantages. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

IMHO, it's more important what the details are.

What does this mean? Can't "touch" your pension? Heck, you probably can't "touch" your pension even if you wanted to - depending on what you mean by "touch".

Personal savings are yours alone - if they're in your name alone. Period.

Who's paying for the mortgage/rent? Who has any automobiles? Who's paying health insurance? etc., etc., etc.

I strongly recommend you have an attorney help you finalize this. You don't need to volunteer this to your H.

WAT

just an update. we are still working on the agreement without lawyers. met over a week ago and husband has yet to provide with final draft. I wonder if he's reluctant to, as he may be conflicted as to where he wants to be. he's still paying all the bills out of his account, so I really haven't had to worry about anything. yet.

Take your sweet time, unless there is some dire threat to your custody arrangement or financial security.

Melody, I'm not rushing at all. I'm waiting to see when/if he bring its up. He's providing the financial support we agreed to in the agreement, and agree on custody of our teenager. I had consulted a lawyer in the beginning and she recommended that if I was seeking reconcilliation, that an filed separation agreement wasn't the best choice. We talked about what is needed in an agreement and if it is witnessed, and signed by both of us, then is legal. We're not the kind of people that aren't able to sit down and discuss and feel we could save $ by not involving lawyers.

I think it is a good idea. My WH and I tried to do one. He wrote it up, but then refused to sign it. Hopefully your husband will sign it.

In the meantime, he quickly spent all of our savings, and his retirement savings. I think everyone needs to get something in WRITING. Many times, the WS promises things, but fails to deliver.

Believer, thank you for sharing your point of view and experience. My gut tells me that my husband will follow through with the terms of the agreement. It certainly would be another blow if he didn't.

My WH was always a good and honorable man. I never in a million years thought he would have an affair, let alone live with the OW and blow all of our money. Very early, we made a financial agreement. He wrote it out, and then decided to take it to an attorney to have it officially written up. The attorney said it would be just like a business agreement.

Well, when it was all drawn up, and I had spent $500. on it, my WH refused to sign it.

Early in the affair, I think they feel guilty. But as the affair ensnares them, they can do awful things. He and OW went on trips, and just blew the money. He has NOTHING to show for it.

When I post to people here, I always advise them to secure their finances.

After that, Plan A is fine.

believer, I too never thought in a million years my husband would have an affair. so, why do I trust he'll follow through with the agreement we have come up with, yet not signed. food for thought. hmmmmm