Miker, I'm hoping that friends will think of us or we'll meet people we are intended to meet.
We exhibit our traits every day. If we appear desperate to date and tell people we are looking, would anyone really want to fix us up? But if we are happy in life, enjoy spending time with friends and enjoy activities, I think we'll meet people, whether through church, the children's school activities, sporting or music events, or friends mentioning people with similar interests, we cross paths with many people.

My friends think I am a very outgoing person and expect me to talk to someone who interests me. I have no problem speaking in front of large groups of professionals, but dating frightens me, and in that vein, I can't really put myself out there.

I am a female in a male dominated career. Statistically, I should be meeting many people. Most are married, not my "type" or GUD (geographically undesirable).

<sigh>

GDP is a brother of mine.

<sigh>

My take is that I'm the invisible man.

This morning's sunday school lesson was from Eclesiastes... You know the part where the good Solomon says "be content with the wife of your youth".

Ouch! Where is she? You got any idea, GDP?

-AD

Nev,

Seriously. I don't know if you've noticed, but you've stirred up some interest here. LOL.

I know what-his-name asked first, but if your zip starts with anything like thirty-five-thousand or somewhre nearby...

mb11094@yahoo.com

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

-AD

Aha! And I thought it was me that was the problem... I guess its my friends fault for not setting me up with anyone good. I'll have to have a talk with them about this! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But in all seriousness I think I do agree with you. I would much rather take your approach than spin the dating wheel and take my chances. Maybe it just means thinking about those events as potential places to meet people. I really don't think I'm doing that right now...

From your description it sounds like maybe you are looking for more of a family man type than a career man? Or is it both?

Maybe that is part of the problem with being a single parent we're used to doing it all. Parenting, busy career, some faint resemblences of a social life... we have to do it all and maybe we expect all that from our mates. I know I have pretty high expectations which I am beginning to second guess whether they are too unrealistic.

Cheers,

Miker

I read somewhere that almost everybody in the country is 4 or 5 people-hops from knowing the president.

I thought about it. I used to work with a guy who was first cousin of a famous journalist. The journalist has interviewed most of the recent presidents. For me, it was only two hops.

And... more importanlty, you are probably no more than two people-hops from the man or woman that you want to meet - and who will want to meet you too.

Just a thought...

-AD

5 hops? Interesting theory.

High Flight, thanks for the encouragement.

And _AD_...

Interestingly enough, I have often called myself "the invisible man." I guess we really are brothers...

And no, I don't know where to find "the wife of my/your youth." She appears to be even more invisible than I am.

Now we have the heading for the personals ad:

"Invisible man seeks invisible woman." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-AD

GDP,

Seriously, what they want is a man with fire in his belly.

I don't have much of it. Do you?

-AD

I'm 3 possibly 2 hops. Funny, never thought of that before.

But how exciting to think I could be 2-3 hops away from someone significant that would/could be in my life!

Smile!!

Karona

I have to say I have not been actively dating and low and behold when I was wearing my rubber boots, pants full of fish slime on them and sweaty shirt the Love of my life introduces herself to me. I wasn't looking and she found me and it didn't matter what I was wearing either. The problem is distance for us. We can't be together because we live 1500 miles apart we met on her vacation which happened to be where I live. It hurts not to be with her but I am not giving up. I have hope and I have faith and if I am meant to be with her it will eventually happen, if not I will have to accept that as well. This is life you don't get anything worth having without having to put up some sort of sacrifice. You put your heart out and you take a chance of it getting hurt, but it is much like riding a bike you learn how to fall so you don't get hurt so much and get right back up and ride again.

M

Thank you for writing this!! Warms my soul!!!

God bless you & your friend...may 1500 miles shrink into nothing if at all possible!!!

High Flight

Fire in the belly? I'm not quite sure what that represents, to be honest. However, I suspect I did have it. I'm not so sure any more. I'm actually thinking about trying the online thing again, mostly because I have no hope of anything happening, so I've got nothing to lose. If I could find even one woman willing to go out with me, it could at least give me a little bit of experience in the "dating world."

Fire in the belly. For me that would mean a man with zest for life. He interested in the people & things around him, a life long learner.

Just my interpretation.

GDP- that's about how I feel with online dating. I'm giving it a go, again, because...why not? If I'm introduced to a man online great, if I meet him at Lowes great. Numbers, positive attitude & no expectations. We'll see.

By "fire in the belly", I mean a passion for something... a life of purposeful action. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that men of that sort do not lack for the attention of ladies.

-AD

People with a passion for living a meaningful life have an automatic charisma that is picked up on by others.

Now, if I could just decide exactly what I should passionately do, I'd be set. LOL

I do think that would have won over my XW.

-AD

My passion is for my children, and raising them to be emotionally happy, healthy individuals. This doesn't seem to attract many men.
I, however, would be attracted to a man who is very involved with his children and actively engaged in their lives and activities. I am turned off by a man who chooses not to see his children.

Hmm. I've been mulling this over...

I believe that the word passion would have described me as I was in the years since my divorce, especially in the sense nams used: "a man with a zest for life...interested in the people & things around him, a life long learner."

However, the word purpose is causing me problems.

If trying to discern and follow God's direction in my life, however poorly I understood the why of it, counts as "purposeful action," then that would have applied. However, I had no clear dreams or goals. I'm not sure whether that's an important distinction.

In any case though, I evinced no ability to pull in the ladies...