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my daughter has posted a question on yahoo answers what to do about my ww wife.she wants to confront mom and feels very betrayed but is worried her mom will deny it.they gave her advice like stay out of it stay out of it,your dad is trying to turn you against her,she will leave the loser anyway etc.i hope she dont believe this crap. Your daughter is EXACTLY RIGHT, sunny. She should speak to her mother about this. She should not "stay out of" something that DIRECTLY effects her life. Affairs effect children just as much as they do spouses. She needs to tell her mother how terrible she feels about this and how ashamed and sad she is. She is not to call her mother names or be disrespectful, but she is right to tell her mother how she feels and to acknowledge that she does know that affairs are wrong. That being said, she should be prepared to hear her mother lie to her. That is not uncommon. But she might be able to avoid that by simply TELLING her mother that she knows versus ASKING HER. If she asks, that gives her an opportunity to deny.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sorry you are havign such a tough time.... deal with her rage with calm.... pretend if you need to... be firm, be decisive... but do not lose your cool. You are in the right here... and her rage will only show the weakness of her position. You can rage against this injustice in a dignified manner.
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sunny, it doesn't matter if the affair is over, the OMW still needs to know. I seriously doubt the affair is over, though. Go tell the OMW TODAY, ok? Get that over with.
The way you handle her rage is to NOT REACT. Tell her you are sure sorry is so upset and hope she feels better tomorrow. Don't try to reason with her and don't allow her to bait you into a fight. Just leave the room and let her rant!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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GOOD JOB! Just brace yourself for her fury. She will be furious, but it will be for a good reason. Hang tight, sunny!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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will she come here so we can help her?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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oh omw thinks she might be pregnant!!
and i know om knows i exposed cause he called when iwas at her house,i asked her if i should leave and she nodded her head.also should i call ww mom and strike while the iron is hot and should i let my 15 yr. daughter confront her know? Yes, call her mother today and allow your DD to talk to her whenever she chooses. Tell her mother about the affair and tell her you want to save your marriage. Ask for her support in doing this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am suggesting inviting the OMW here. Please don't invite your WW. Good idea about giving her snooping tips.
Does she have a computer? Does she have your phone #?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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SunnyD... hang tough. I know this is the hardest thing that you have ever had to do. It will most likely get a bit worse before it gets better.
Just use this site and other posters... as well as your family support system to lean on in times of pain and trouble. Many of us have been down the path you are now taking... it isn't easy but it is the first step in reclaiming your life.
OMW being pregnant might be a very good thing for you guys (not for them). Your WW has probably been sold a bill of goods that they don't have sex anymore ... blah, blah, blah....
I wish you well.
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sunny, by all means give her the evidence. And tell her to stop ASKING him if he is having an affair. She doesn't need a "confession" to know what she and the OM both know is true. Tell her to tell him that she KNOWS about his affair and does not need his "confession."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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you know, i am going to say something here and I hope you do not take offense.... I wonder if your ww was having sex with this man for the money he provided her. She seems like such a shallow woman.
You need to put a stop to this financial ruin this woman is putting you through. She wants you to work and work work to support her spending. Sorry, in addition to a MC... you need to go see a financial advisor today. She seems to equate the type of man you are with how much money you can provide her. You are her H... not a trick... so she should stop treating you like one. I would immediately dicontinue all financial support above and beyond what it takes to run your home. That means no shopping for her at all. Any... and I mean any money that gets spent needs to be agreed upon... not from threats of emotional blackmail, which is what she has done.
So, it is time for you to put the pants on... you don't need her permission. If she is unable to reel some of this stuff in... friend... I say seek legal advice immediately. Find a lawyer that will give you a free consultation... anyone that can direct you legally. Shut down any credit cards that have your name attached to them. Do not sign anything that will require you to make payments.
Take control of what you can here. The A is only part of your problem. In all honesty... what I already know about this woman makes me doubt she will ever be the type of wife that you need.
Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 08/16/06 08:38 AM.
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sunny, I wouldn't suggest having any part of a new vehicle when things are this tenuous. If your finances are already shot, I can't see how buying new things would be responsible.
Has the affair been 8 years long?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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