she is still asking if i want to pay for her tuition or to take it as a loan from me.


I told her no strings attached.

although i am looking to get a car now that anything can happen.


keep praying for me to have strength. he called her this morning while we were in the car. She said she will call him later.

Talk about "rip your heart out for breakfast"

i dont even know how to relate to her this evening when she comes to pick me up.

I wouldn't pay her 2ition unless she's willing 2 commit 2 the marriage and abandon her plans 2 move out.

Suggest that the OM pay it if she plans 2 move out. And tell the OM's GF. (who you should expose 2 immediately anyway)

The Wonderings might have some better ideas.

-ol' 2long

but i promised. you are suggesting for me to regail on my promises.

2 paraphrase Melodylane:

The only thing worse than making a bad promise is keeping it.

I made a similar promise 2 my W, just a few months after d-day. Literally, I agreed 2 pay for her PhD.

Look. If your W wants 2 move out so she can have a relationship with her old BF, then her fu2re is no longer your problem, is it?

-ol' 2long

Yes nc007...I very much agree with 2long, YOU DO NOT PAY THAT TUITION...You can use that to help you negotiate the end of this affair AFTER you expose which will probably kill it anyway...She is breaking the bigger promise, wouldn't you say? You know, the one she made to you and GOD...She wants the perks of being a married woman while acting like she is single...Sorry, life doesn't work that way...Can OM afford to pay for her education, or is he WILLING to do so??? You are in Plan A...Please don't confuse that with Plan Doormat...

Have you had one of the ladies at your office call OM's house today? Have you told your parents or hers? Have you spoken with friends? Have you exposed to your pastor at your church? Time is of the essence here nc007, I can not stress that to you enough...EXPOSURE MUST HAPPEN...STOP DELAYING...The longer you delay, the more entrenched this affair becomes...I am reminded of B0bPure's question to many around here...What would you do if you were not afraid?

Mrs. W

no she does not go to church.

no i searched the phone and all i have is HIS cell phone listing.

told my parents.

havent told her parents yet.

parents are just as messed up.

Ok...You should still tell her parents...You don't know with certainty how they would respond first of all, and further, exposure is about removing the veil of secrecy from the affair...Affairs thrive in secrecy...You are looking to burst the bubble of this fantasy...If you go to church nc007, tell YOUR pastor, he will support YOU...That is support that YOU very much need right now...Does your wife know that your parents know? She should...Never hide exposure...Allow it to work it's magic...How about friends of yours/hers? Does she know that her sister knows? Again, she should...How did your wife connect with this OM? Through her work? How did they "reconnect"?How do things operate there nc007? Is there no way to find out where someone lives?

Have you made an appointment with your doctor yet? I think that an antidepressant may really help you now...

Mrs. W

nc007...

When I google the words "Jamaica People Finder", here are a few links that come up...try them out, k?

jamaica-whereru

discover jamaica

search detective

Let me know if they return anything...If not, you try a Google search with more specifics from your area...Just go to google and type in your criteria...hit enter and voila...Usually that will yield many options...You MUST find OM's girlfriend...Begin searching like your son's wellbeing depends on it, because nc007, it does...

Mrs. W

thanx

"No problem Mon" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> You are most welcome! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

no luck. but i am going to go with my brother in law on a stakeout at my wife office. the predator will bound to come visit. then we will make our move glean as much info as we can about where he lives.

i want to go to the GF in PERSON.

now i dont know if i am doing this out of anger or resolution. but it needs to be done.

Even if she leaves. So be it.

Please pray for my courage.

still looking for some # though.

She is looking foward to going..
Her sister said that she isnt going to babysit our son if she asks.

i am methodically going through a list of her support to see those she depend on to try cut them off from her.

still havent got those depressants yet.

still plan A?

she is calling me at work. should i ignore her calls?

havent returned any calls as yet.

trying to keep her guessing.

People wondering why i am taking such crap from her with our "history"

if she starts an argument or looking some tacit approval for what she is doing. what should i answer her with?.

i told her yesterday that i didnt want her and my son to go but if she feels that the needs to persue her "happiness" then i will not hold her back.

WELCOME BACK WONDERINGS............sorry bout my manners (u understand)

2long what if the cheque is already approved? and cut to pay the school. sorry but the die was cast.

sorry guys.

maybe she will be haunted by this........maybe not.

Be careful of in-person confrontations, particularly if either one of you has a propensity for violence. You don't want 2 end up in jail for assault or worse over pond scum.


Be careful if you don't know what kind of person she is. I would think that calling on the phone would be better, but if you don't have a number...


You may be angry because her choices have hurt you and your family. Try 2 keep from boiling over.


Make sure that you offer 2 babysit your son. Don't let this be taken as an excuse 2 bring your son around the OM.


What you want 2 do is inform them so that they can be allies by encouraging her 2 end her A. They may WANT 2 break off their support once they know, but that must be their choice.


Most definitely!

-ol' 2long

If it were me (and it isn't) I would answer unless talking 2 her was more painful than not talking 2 her.

That's what I did.

-ol' 2long

thanks for the step by step advice.

I would do something like Mortarman might suggest:

"I don't want you 2 go see OM, but I can't make you stay. But I will NOT TOLERATE our son being exposed 2 your adulterous affair!"

nc, what steps are you taking 2 keep her from bringing the OM around your son, or your son around OM??

If she's planning on moving out, you should probably call a lawyer. DO NOT give up custody of your son.

-ol' 2long

Can it be cancelled? How long was the check for? One semester? If so, that's even better. DO NOT pay for any more 2ition, if you can't cancel the current check.

-ol' 2long

she called approx 5 times today. still didnt answer.

then finally when i did she said that if i didnt answer the final call she wouldnt call anytime soon.

(lol)

just asked her about her day, what she ate and told her that i had to go into a meeting in a few minutes.

brushed her off.

dont know if that was a good idea.

but i didnt want to entertain any long conversation.