5 by 5 (loud and clear)

nc007,

Does this mean that you are going to take the necessary steps to expose, starting today?

Mrs. W

tonite

Mrs. W<~~~~Doing the Happy Dance!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

pray i still dance tomorrow. until then

Tonite you take the first steps back towards the dance floor for partner dancing...Limbo is a lonely dance my friend...

Prayers,

Mrs. W

nc:

One of the points is: If the OM is getting M'd soon, but still stringing your W (a married woman) along in any way shape or form, just how protective is he likely 2 be of the sanctity of his own M?

Doesn't the fu2re OMW deserve 2 know just how empty his promise 2 her truly is?

What could "marriage" possibly mean 2 such a man?

-ol' 2long

Right 2long!!! Which likely means that the affair with nc's wife would NOT be over just because OM is getting "married"...OM has already demonstrated just what marriage means to him...

Mrs. W

good grief!!!!!!! would it make sense to even point this out to WW?

Nope, you can't rationalize with the irrational nc...Don't try and educate her with your words...It will take ACTION on your part to bust up this fantasy fest...

Your WW won't understand LOGIC or REASON right now...Trying that would be an exercise in futility...

Mrs. W

k.

Expect anger, threats and regretting you ever listened to us

HOWEVER,

anger

Your marriage can survive

an on-going, never ending, fantasy affair it can not

EXPOSURE

You will see

will ignite love busting to the extreme

between the infidels

He will be soooo mad at your WW

She will be sooo mad at you

But OM and her will likely be done...

Their relationship will be finished

The fantasy will be crushed.

WW may try to go to him

To late

He's too busy fixing his real relationship

He'll cast her aside

Rock bottom...no alternatives and too distraught to function let alone leave you

She begins withdrawing and start to hate HIM

She'll share her anger at HIM with you

You two will TOGETHER hate him

TOGETHERNESS will proceed as you continue your Plan A

WITHDRAWAL comes to an end in 4 - 6 weeks

Recovery can THEN begin to proceed

Mr. W


Sometimes pride gets in the way and makes WW unbearable for several months as she blames YOU for ending the affair. She "may" separate just to punish you but without OM it won't take long for her to have second thoughts. Perhaps also even OM gets resentful for losing his fiance and he tries to get back at you for messing with his life (how irrational)...but even if they try to resume the affair it can't go far or long. There is NO foundation to the relationship and with full exposure reality removes all passion from it. It WILL distingrate quickly. Exposure really IS a win-win in the long run...just may not seem that way for a bit.

k..................

So...

whazzup?

-ol' 2long

Yeah nc...How be my lil bro?

Mrs. W

well here goes............tried several ph.# , i failed.

none worked.

but i spoke to her family,all her close friends..so at least i exposed to them. the bad part is that they want me to walk out on her. Even though i tried to explain that i am trying to save my M.

so me trying to expose just not working out. sorry about this. (not you guys, but not making it happen)

i had a LONG TALK with WW last night. Following you guys advice about getting a life for myself.

wanted to go out last nite. WW asked where...i said just out.

i kept calm got prepared and LOOKED GOOD (insert smile here)

WW asked who was the girl (lol) and how long will i be dancing with her.(dancing?)

she saying that women would still be attracted to me.

then she started to get dramatic about me probably going to have a PA because she is not meeting my needs.

So i did what Mr.W said to do.

Man up.

2long...you should have seen this.

some how i was calm. and i said to her that i will ALWAYS be faithful to her. She said that i lied.
does it matter?

that opened up the avenue of talking.

and we talked.

I told her that she was in an EA and that this hurt me tremendously. And everytime i hear that cell phone ring my chest constricts.

she was speaking fog and strangely .......how she is just trash and garbage.

I dont understand why she is back and forth in her mind.

i asked her why is she continuing this knowing that it is going nowhere?

i also said that how can i sit and NOT feel for his spouse that is marrying a man who doesnt respect the institution of marriage. She said that OM loves her and she will not stand in his way.

i told WW that she wants to move out because she feels like she cannot get him and is not only punishing her family but herself as well.

she looked at me shocked and asked who was speaking to me(wouldnt she like to know about you guys)

i asked why is he calling her everyday, why is she trying to recapture the past in this way?

she repeated thats why she cannot understand why would i want to love her. she is of no value.

i told her that i will fight for our friendship and will fight for my family....ALL my family.

i am surprised that i remained calm.

i then told her that i love her and that i will never ask for more than that.

she then acknowledge some changes in my character and how she really respected me (yeah right).That she saw how our DS gravitate to me. would love to work on our friendship.and that i was being a great dad. Then she said that she felt forced into marriage, but she was at least with her best friend.(insert foggese here)

why do they love rewriting history?

i then proceeded to get her some cranberry and mangoes to eat. Watch some TV and bust bumps on her face.

i told her that i KNOW that she is still in the A and that it hurts.However i will do whatever it takes to protect my family because i love them dearly.

kissed her on the cheek then went to bed.

i think i actually for the first time in 4 months managed to stand on my feet.

it felt good.

P.S. we spoke about my first time with her (took my verginity) and the joke about almost being almost caught getting our freak on by a bunch of teens.

really laughed for the first time genuinely.

she is looking at her teeth and said she wished that she had money to align them perfectly.(huh?)

she told me also that she was looking at apartment but she cannot afford any of them. She said that she is still stressed out. That she has hair falling out and she may have to cut her hair off.

side effects from A?.....should be listed.maybe it would prevent future WS from going this route.

she said that she is not telling me what would make her happy because they are out of her reach.(OM? duh)

sick of foggese.

like i said not knowing what the future holds but i am going to fight for my family. all my family.

so there you go. my day in a nutshell.

Did i try to expose to OMW..yes.

she deserves to know.

bump

nc:

Okay, I'm starting 2 like this!

It's important 2 keep being the man you believe in around her. Stand up for you family. Reinvent yourself, at least outwardly, so that she and everyone else will know you stand for what you believe in.

Her family is no different from many who would recommend the perceived "easy" way out of a si2ation like this. What they don't consider, though, is that you will have 2 live your whole life with any decision you make. Why not make sure you're doing everything you can 2 save your family? (I know you are, but your/her family may not understand it, because it's not happening 2 them directly). And since you are in this fix with your W right now, and she knows you better than anyone, and you her, why not try 2 change things for the better with her involved? She's always going 2 be your son's mom, no matter what happens.

Again, don't put much stock in the negative things she's saying now - about you OR herself. She won't realize this, but all that stuff is just an outward expression of her inability 2 face what she's done and who she's affected by this poor choice of hers. She may be hardest of all on herself, so it's critically important that you respond (with compassion and empathy) rather than react (like with sarcasm and DJs) when she says foggy stuff.

The more you do the "man up" thang, the more 2nd na2re it will become, and so the easier it will be for you 2 beam positive vibes when you're around your confused WW.

Remember, the MB methods are behavior modification exercises at the heart. And at the end of this process, even if you don't feel you've changed as an individual, your entire perspective on life will have changed in a huge way for the better.

-ol' 2long

thanks 2 long. its a pity that i didnt get a chance to get in contact with the OMW, i am trying though.

I think i will try to be more compassionate when she loks down.

please pray for me. saw your pic. Now only if i could get one of the Ws.