I don't know if I should be here but I know I have run out of friends and family to talk to. I am 23 years old and i was married at 21 to my husband who is 28. I used to be really happy when we first got together for the longest time. I stuck by him through everything. I am even way in debt for him at this age, i cant go to college like i want. I hope nobody thinks I am selfish. So back in March I just started to be really unhappy with him. I dont wanna hang out with him, kiss him, or anything. Also he doesn't want to do anything with me. He hates to have fun. We are not friends at all and I can feel it. So this went on since March. I am generally not happy. About 3 weeks ago, i told him I think we should seperate and find ourselves bc we never had room to grow together. I forgot to mention we married a year after we met. When I told him this, he tried to kill himself. He was then admitted to a pysch ward. Now mind you I am 23 and i have been through this. I went and seen him everyday and cried for him and felt so bad. Then he came out and I tried to make it work but quickly became unhappy again. I dont know why...he is not mean, I just fel out of love. I have been staying at my moms for 3 days. I have been less stressed, more upbeat. But then he comes around and cries and says he doesnt wanna live and ir brings me down again. I think I am ready to move on..how do i know if this is right? How do i know if i miss him or just feel guilty? Feeling so trapt. Im sorry if i shouldnt post here and bother anyone.

Roxanne,
Please read the info on the MB website. There is a lot of wonderful info that should help your situation. Also, please go to General Questions II board and post there, because I feel like you will get more responses. The people there are very helpful and knowledgeable, and there are others there going through things like you are going through.

You sound like a wonderful person, nuturing, caring, empathetic...unfortunately people like you attract very needy, insecure, unhealthy people.

One thing you have to understand is that you cannot change him, he has to change himself and he has to want to do it. Judging from your post, he brings you down to his level (which is full of depression, sadness, and misery). This is why you feel trapped. It is quite evident to me that you are not able to help him (even if you wanted to). So actually, by staying with him you are harming yourself as well as him. When he is ready he will get the help that he needs.

My advise to you is to move on without him. It is the best thing for you and it is the best thing for him.

Have you read the 'Basic Concepts'? Have you read about 'Emotional Needs'?

Jaanuu, you might do well to read them also.