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Thanks for your response on another thread cymanca! I would have sent you a pm but I can't send pms for some reason.You said that I could still get my WH back in a plan B where my WH is the one who doesn't want contact. I just need to do a great plan B. I have to ask you though. How can I do a great plan B if I can't really do a plan B letter? In other words, it makes no sense to give my WH a plan b letter when he already said it is over. It's not like I can tell him now, ok you can come back if you do this and that. He wants it over. Do you know what I mean?
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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LH,
Check out my reply re: a Plan B letter on the other thread.
You know how to scream at a WS??????..... Don't say a word
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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it might do YOU some good to think about your position
and make a formal declaration about your position
more for yourself than anything else
what DO you stand for?
Pep
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LH, Now you did it, here comes Pep. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Posts: 1,607
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LH,
(just so YA Know)
No one can do PM's here.
The feature is disabled as to not encouage *HURTING* people to Reach out in Private time together.
Sure they can't stop emails and such,
but someone figured its better to NOT give any participation in that kind of activty (=ing attatchment).
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I'm not sure what you mean Pep.
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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What is your position about your marriage?
Are you content with your current status?
Pep
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Not at all. I want reconciliation. I would keep talking to my WH, although I was getting ready to do a plan B soon. Then my WH out of nowhere says it's over and doesn't want any contact unless it's about finances.
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 62
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 62 |
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
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Posts: 1,892 |
LH,
By your hesitancy, I would assume that you do not know if you want/are ready for Plan B. DO NOT attempt Plan B unless you are willing to follow it to a T.
Worse than begging and crying and professing love, is the Plan B that says "well this is important so I will call,email, write or smoke signal the WS just this one time"
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 62
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Posts: 62 |
Thanks Cymanca, but I really don't have a choice because my WH doesn't want contact except for financial discussion. I'm just not sure what I should be doing. Just go by his wishes and hope he misses me eventually?
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
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Posts: 1,892 |
LH,
If your attitude is that he is in control and that you have no choices in YOUR life, then you are probably correct.
Best of luck
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 62
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 62 |
Well I know I have control of my life. I am trying to move on as best I can but what I'm trying to say is that my goal is reconciliation. So what should I be doing if I am still looking for that?
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
Thanks Cymanca, but I really don't have a choice because my WH doesn't want contact except for financial discussion. I'm just not sure what I should be doing. Just go by his wishes and hope he misses me eventually? [b]see right here (in the bold) is what I was getting at you DO have a choice you just don't have the choice you want how does an adult choose when he/she has no "good" choice? there are a number of ways ... can you come up with some without me? saying "I really don't have a choice" is not true. I'm just probing you a little bit to get you out of your funk people who don't have a choice are actual victims and you don't have to chose that, do ya? Pep
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Posts: 62
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Pep,
I understand that I do have a choice with what I do with my life. I am saying that I don't have a choice about having contact with my WH because he doesn't want it. I have the choice to keep calling him anyway, but I'm not doing that. Do you know what I'm saying?
BW: me, 38;
WH: 38;
Married 16 yrs;
Together 19 yrs;
D-Day 11/06/05;
WH moved out 11/06/05;
OW was co-worker;
False recovery for 2 month
D-Day #2 3/09/06
A is ongoing
WH told me "It's over" 8/7/06
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,892
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Posts: 1,892 |
LH,
Do you have an intremediary in place? an attorney? a written agreement regarding HIS financial obligations?
I would suspect that your WS is slent until HE needs not to be. That is your opportunity to display your complete detachment.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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