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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88 |
I have been in Plan B for 1 month now. Childcare only discussed. We have a D pending due to financial security.
I'm a SAHM.
Stupid Stupid sttupid me
Didn't realize that the A is with Former OW (I thought he was in EA/PA with new woman)
I am sitting on the info. to contact OW-H.
Since I am in Plan B do I call him?
me BW - 32
WH- 32
Married 6/01
EA 10/01 turn PA 2/02 (denied for 4 years)
ONS 5/02
DD 10/03
DD #2 3/05
D-Day Jan 06
EA #2 1/06
turned PA 5/06 ???
WH moved out 7/06
WH moved in w/OW 10/06
Divorce date 1/07
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
OW's H? U can contact him no matter what plan u r in. The important thing is you have your info ready, present it calmly (with assistance if you need) and are doing it for the right reasons. U ready t/d it that way yet?
L.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88 |
Probably not.
I am completely calm but all I have is cell phone bill w/her phone # repeatedly and credit card for dinners & flowers
M
me BW - 32
WH- 32
Married 6/01
EA 10/01 turn PA 2/02 (denied for 4 years)
ONS 5/02
DD 10/03
DD #2 3/05
D-Day Jan 06
EA #2 1/06
turned PA 5/06 ???
WH moved out 7/06
WH moved in w/OW 10/06
Divorce date 1/07
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
When u r emotionally ready, you can let him know that 2 married people are sharing imtimate stuff with other people. His W and your H are among that group. He may wonder what else his W is doing. Especially if it is with HIS $$.
To get you ready, please read Surviving an Affair (Harley) and Love must be tough (Dobson).
Get with a good MC or call Steve H @ MB for some phone counseling.
What r u doing to secure your finances and children?
L.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 88 |
I've read both and we tried MC (ok we went/I tried).
I'm in Al-Anon and see an IC. I'm feeling pretty good emotionally. I just don't know if I am prepared to rip apart their family as mine has been.
me BW - 32
WH- 32
Married 6/01
EA 10/01 turn PA 2/02 (denied for 4 years)
ONS 5/02
DD 10/03
DD #2 3/05
D-Day Jan 06
EA #2 1/06
turned PA 5/06 ???
WH moved out 7/06
WH moved in w/OW 10/06
Divorce date 1/07
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Now work on these same points again. This time, do it for you and w/o him.
U need to strengthen yourself 1st.
L.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 96
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 96 |
When you have the strength, I think exposure might help your position. I know the thought of imploding someone else's world is scary, however, you didn't have the A they did and maybe they need to face the consequences in a very real life manner.
It sounds like you are taking control of your life and that's wonderful! No matter what, you will be the stronger one going forward for facing up and taking the high road! Don't give up!!
BS (me) 42/ FWH 46
Married 23 years
Empty Nesters
DD#1 21 & DD#2 19 (both at college)
DDay 12/15/02
FWH had a LTA
It was a long and bumpy road, but we have recovered. Our M is better and happier than before.
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