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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 33
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 33 |
I've tried to negotiate, I've offered everything. W says she cannot take it any more but won't tell me what "it" is. She wants to move kids out of county away from friends and school. In her mind this is good because grandma will help take care of them when she is working. Financially this will devastate us...will have to file bankruptcy and lose home. Need both incomes to make it. She will have to get second job to barely scrape by and that is doubtful. W already works 50+ and me 80+ a week.
She is willing to separate instead of D but says kids would be better off with her. Life would be so empty without them. Counselor, after first meeting, said that I should get attorney. Has taken W side from start. Not willing to act in our best interest. She told me I should find another counselor if my goal was to stay married.
I admit to having faults. I've made some major LBs but was not aware I was doing it until she finally told me just a few weeks ago. I've made great effort (and she aknowledges such) but she says it is too late.
What should I do? I still love her very much. She says she wants out before she begins to hate me. I don't think moving the kids again is a good idea. (We have moved a lot for job reasons-4 times in 6 years).
How do I control or get over the pain. I can hardly function at work. Cannot think about anything but her and kids. W not willing to go to another counselor because this one has given her answers and support she wanted. Said she would talk to our pastor tomorrow with me but has already made decision. She says I'm just looking for somebody to agree with me. I don't think so...I'm looking for somebody that will HELP US, not focus on one.
I have never felt so much emotional pain in my life.
Me 40 (paramedic/firefighter)
W 36 (clinical coordinator)
S 11
D 9
married 12 years
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 20 |
slm,
I worked those kind of hours...It's not worth it nor is it a reasonable expectation. I would do my best to get the Harley's involved ASAP! My 10 year old spends every other weekend with me and my 15 and 19 year old girls don't speak to me. I had a therapist who asked me what my last job did for: 1. My marriage? A= It's broken, we're seperated and divorcing. 2.) My kids? A= Nothing, I had no relationship with them. 3.) Our finances? A= Were broke and on the verge of banruptcy. (we made $344,000.00 last year...just bigger toys)
The "it" in our relationship was RESENTMENT AND ANGER. I would take a leave of absence and ask your wife to try something new...Marriage Builders.
Your in my prayers.
Daniel
FWH 50
BS 50
S 12
D 16,20
DOM 08/1983
Divorce final 7/19/07
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