My wife and I still havent been able to work through our problems. She is totally devoted to work and is away the majority of the time which leaved me taking care of our BD and everything around the house along with my job. It gets very frustrating. How do I convince her that there is more to life that being successful in her career. If she would put the same kinda determination and effort in our marriage that she does in her career we could work through our problems. She tells me she doesnt want to work on our marriage right now that she is just concerned with work. She says she doesnt know how to work on our marriage too. She isnt happy and she doesnt know if she was ever really in love with me. She has told me that if she was in love with me she would have the desire to be at home and not at work. I have bought the book Fall in Love, Stay in Love in cds so she could listen, but I dont think she will even take the time to listen to them. She said that she hasnt been happy for awhile. She thinks that our relationship started with more lust instead of love. She said that for the past year she has been hiding the fact that she was unhappy. She would even imagine having sex with someone else while we were having sex because of not having any desire to have sex with me. All of these things have turned me cold towards her now and I dont know what to do. I am trying my best to not let my pride get in the way and stay commited to our marriage. How do you convince your spouse that a marriage is long term and is worth fighting for especially when kids are involved. I cannot save a marriage alone. We went to couseling and that did not help. She has mentioned maybe moving out and trying to date again to maybe get a spark back in our marriage. She just does not want to feel like she has to come home. If she wants to go out with friends she doesnt want to have to let me know. Basically she is just tired of being married and doesnt know if she will ever want to be married. I have told her that if she moves out and doesnt want to try to stay to work things that it is over. I really feel like she is just there now because she has no where else to go. is it time to call it quits?

Don't ever give up! I am going through struggles in my marriage right now to but I am not giving up because I love her and I want what is best for us, our kids and most importantly God. God says marriage is a life long commitment. I intend on doing everything I can to be life long. I suggest you do that to by praying for your wife every time you think about it. I have been praying for our marriage amost without ceasing. I will continue to do that until we are back as one.

I appreciate your post. I pray for her and our relationship on a regular basis and have been since this began. But do you not have to be somewhat realistic? I cannot control anyone nor do have I ever tried to. Everyone has to make their own decisions. What I hate the most is the problems this will ultimately cause my daughter. I cannot live my life resentful because my wife chooses to make her first priority work and when she is off she chooses to spend her time with her firends or going out rather than being at home with her family. That is her decision. Prime example, shes been gone a week for work. She gets home and the first thing she wants to do is go to a bar with her friends. Hasnt seen me or our daughter all week and that is her first need? She wants me to stay at home with our daughter so she can go out. We made an agreement when we first got married not to go out in that type of environment without the other there. I am not into that type of environment anymore, but I will go with her sometimes because she enjoys danceing. I will NOT have a wife that does not respect me enough to care how I feel. You can only try so long before you have to be realistic. I mean what good can come out of being in a situation that does nothing but stress you out constantly?

Ok ...she says she's not sure she's in love with you anymore ...she says she thinks about other men when having sex with you...she's working long hours...she's been gone a whole week for work...she goes out to bars with friends.

I don't know about you but this sure sounds like she's having an affair. You need to start watching her.

However, your main problem is that you are a wimp. I'm not insulting you because I am one also. Being a wimp just encourages people to take advantage of you and take you for granted. Example: How in the ****** did she get away with running off to a bar with friend after leaving you taking care of the kid for a week?! You let her get away that. I'm sure you're letting her get away with a lot of things. You need to start standing up for yourself. Say no! No more bars. A married woman shouldn't be hanging out in bars.

Here is the reality. You're a man. You can find another woman and remarry far more easily than she can. If you leave her how will she be able to work long hours and take care of the kid? Will she be able to find another man to marry her? The life of a single mother is not an easy one.

Sit her down and say: You need to grow up. You need to stop putting yourself, your career, your bar hopping ahead of you daughter and your marriage. Your behaviour is extremely selfish and immature. It's all about your feelings and your needs. Do you care about anyone other than yourself?! What's going to happen to our daughter once our marriage is destroyed? Do you even care? You say you're not "in love" anymore. Well, maybe you lack the self-lessness, maturity, and commitment that is required to create a genuinely loving relationship. If you don't get your act together pretty soon you're going to find out exactly how wonderful life without me really is.

You get the gist. She needs a wakeup call. You need to stand up and tell it like it is. It's good that you want to save your marriage but you will never save your marriage by avoiding conflict and letting your wife walk all over you. If your marriage is going to end because you stood up for yourself and your daughter then so be it. Sometimes the more afraid you are of losing your marriage the more you ruin it.

Another thing. Don't argue with her. Just say what's on your mind. She heard you. No need to argue about it. No need to get upset. Be calm, confident, and assertive.

Um, Im going to have to disagree with the above post.

If you "sit her down" you are going to in for a big surprise! I am SURE she is not going to respond in a way that says...oh yeah, youre right. Im going to stop! NO WAY!

If anything, it will bring up more anger and put you in a place that you dont want to be. I dont think you are a "whimp" like this person stated above. Becareful of using words like "let". You are her husband, not her parent.

Anyway, I would not do what was recommended by that person. I dont have the answers, but possibly read LOVE MUST BE TOUGH by Dr. Dobson. It helped me a great deal, maybe it could help you.

Best Wishes.
Pray!