Hi, my friend in RL has asked me to post here and seek advice.

She and her H may be headed for divorce and she has some questions. They have been married for 19 yrs. He and his brother co own a construction business. Would 1/4 of that business be her's also ? and, everything that is included in it ?

She is on ss disability for COPD. Since she is *disabled*, how would that affect a divorce settlement ? Would her H have to pay more because of her disability.

Also, she was given some $$ by a relative and it was in an account solely in her name. When threatend by divorce before, she withdrew it. Since that happened her H has put the money in an account with only HIS name on it. She is wondering how she can go about, at least, getting her name on it too. Without causing too much trouble at home.

Thanking y'all in advance. I have directed her here and she will be checking for any responses.

Sincerely, Carnation

Likely no answers because it's probably a state by state issue.
Re: the inheritance, if she can trace the source, she may have a chance. Just because it's in his name, it's still at least 1/2 hers.
Re: Business. Depending on size, it may be very difficult to value it, and they may try to play down the value. Forensic accountants are very expensive and may not be worth it.
19 years typically means alimony for some time at least.

Go for alimony! Over 10 years of M is considered long term and spouse could be entitled alimony until she remarries.


How is the business incorporated? Is it a corporation or limited partnership? One way to find out is tax returns. If they filed jointly, she should be able to find out from the tax returns. Have her copy the last two years of their joint tax returns. Because he co-owns the business with his brother, they'll start doing funky stuff when it comes to her H wage. Meaning, they will suddenly show a reduction in H's pay because your alimony and spousal support will be based on a percentage of his income. So their "hidden, vindictive" agenda will be to reduce his salary, thereby reducing the percentage of the alimony/support. BUT if she has a good attorney and have copies of their tax returns showing, their scheme will be evident.

Take this one step further. Who does the bookkeeping for the company? She can also get her attorney to request Account receivbles which are incoming revenues.


I don't know what COPD stands for, but was she diabled prior to the M or during M? If prior, and H financially took care of her the support could be included in the alimony. The same could be true even if she became disable during the M. Here are other things she needs to find out:

1. Did she or her H pay for LONG-TERM DISABILITY (LTD)? She can get this info by looking at their most current paystub in the deductions section. If they paid for LTD, she is entitle to disaibility compensation from the state. BUT, there is a catch (varies from state to state). In order to qualify for disability pay, she should have filed within one year from being disabled.

She would be entitle to more $$ because of her diability and IF her H had assumed financial repsonsibility for her care during or at anytime of their M.


Look at her state and see how they view "inhereitance" or "gift". Some states, inheritance cannot be attached to a divorce settlement. In other words, her H couldn't have a penny of it unless he tried. But, if she used that inheritance to purchase anything thing of value, ie. car, home, etc...then it could very well become a community property because now, she has changed "ownership" of the inhertance.


In a community property state, it's still a community property regardless how the H sliced it. This will become part of the discovery in a divorce situation. If she can get the account number OR if the H withdrew monies from their joint account and put it in his separate account, it will still be considered part of hers.

In a commnunity property like California, a spouse CANNOT dispose any asset, properties, AND take a spouse off his/her insurance policy. IT's against the law.

Have your friend log on to this website for some basics in divorce within her state or do a google search on divorce in(enter your state).

www.divorcenet.com

As I suggested to Strongest, have your friend START gathering financial documents, house mortgage, bank accounts, insurance, cars, paystub and most importantly his W-2 from last year including tax returns, any anything and EVERYTHING that has monetary value. BOth the paystub and W-2 will show his bonuses and allowances. The paystub is KEY because it will show all his deductions including any direct deposits to hidden accounts.

"Causing" problems will not be avoided. She needs to look out after herself. He H certainly won't at this point, will he?

Remember when Tom Cruise divorce Nicole Kidman short of their 10 year anniversay? It's because the Mission Impossible man didn't want to pay alimony which was worth in the millions!

Good luck
Stargazelily

Thanks so much for the replies.

Star ~ Your information is invaluable.

She lives in Mich. and suffers from asthma and emphysema. Her H has always been responsible for her medical bills.

Thanks again so much for your response.

Carnation

Just as an after thought with regards to her H's business co-owned with his brother. In addition to them doing funky stuff with the business, her H will try to get paid "under the table" so to speak. Her attorney can request a "forensic accounting" of the business to ensure that her H and his brother will not misapproriate or redirect his income. What they may do is that if her H has been getting a "salary" with taxes withheld, he may suddenly start getting paid by the company on a "contractual" basis. But the company cannot do this WITHOUT issuing a 1099 Miscellaneous Income especially if the amount exceeds $500 for the year. If he gets CASH, it will still show up on the company's cash account disbursement. If his brother's income goes up while the H's decreases, then it's obvious what's going on. His brother is stupid because now he's hit with higher tax and he's got nothing to show to his wife. If he's married, ya think his wife is going for that?

Don't know if this is useful but have her file it in the back of her mind.

I don't think we know enough to know if the H or the W in this scenario is the "bad guy"

I am troubled that it's assumed that he is the bad guy, and will do all these shady things to cheat her.

We have one side of a story, and no way to know if it's true or false.

We have no idea if either is having an affair. It could be her having the affair for all we know, and he is trying to protect the family.

We just don't know.

So to "take sides" and say he will do all these shady things is simpy not supported with the information presented.

Absolutely. BUT what IF it were true? There is a choice:

1) you can be PROACTIVE: Prepare and take appropriate actions in the event things happen. OR

2) be REACTIVE where time is of the essence where you have very little to no time to prepare for you next move.

Let's look at it in another perspective, would you buy a fire insurance at the time when you buy a home OR after a fire has engulfed your home?

Same process/issue, just different scenario.

I agree to take precautions.

I disagree with saying he and his brother ARE GOING to do things as if that was a fact.

My point wasn't to prevent her from taking precautions. It was to suggest that we not say that we KNOW what someone else, someone we've not met will do.

Gramatically, you "literally" have a point. I re-read my reply and failed to use the term "might" or "may". But for intent and purposes where "divorce" is in play, the scientific "probability" of the H doing "funky" stuff with the business he co-owns with his brother is far greater than thinking that he wouldn't do such a thing when the potential of dishing out $$$ for spousal support especially alimony exists and is (oops) "may be" inevitable.

Let's go help somebody else..

It's more than gramatically, it's about modeling proper MB behavior here.

To say we can predict the future or know what someone is going to do is a DJ, a Love Buster.

You may not trust the husband, but that doesn't mean that he's going to do anything wrong.

Besides, we don't know the circumstances around the divorce. Maybe the hubby is the BS, and the disabled woman here is trying to milk him for everything in perpetuity.

We don't know the circumstances, so to suggest what someone will do is rather arrogant on our part.

To me, it's far more than just a gramatical issue.

Good morning, thanks so much for the replies. I am sorry that I have not been able to contribute to this thread as I have been out of state and am actually leaving again this afternoon. My friend has asked me to give you a little more information regarding her problem.

No, there has been no affair that we know of. The reason a divorce comes up quite often is because of her H drinking problem. She is disabled and stays home mostly. He enjoys stopping off for beers on his way home, practically every day. This takes a toll on their marriage, at least from her standpoint.

A pressing issue right now for her is the bank account that has her $$ given her from a relative. When she received the money she put it in an account in her name only. This made sense to her. Problems came in their M and she withdrew it. Actually threatening to get an apartment. This action rattled her H and they *made up*. At that point he put the money of hers into an account in his name only. She agreed to this in good faith. He seemed to be concerned that she would withdraw it again and might leave. Which of course, she has every right to.

On the last statement she noticed that her H has withdrawn $800 without her knowledge. This concerns her and she wants her name on the account. To this he says, no way. She is waiting to receive next month's statement and see if he is continuing to withdraw money, her money...

We know that the drinking must be addressed. She is really worried about him withdrawing her money behind her back and wants to know what she can, should do about this.

Thank you so much for replying. We posted this question here because we thought that this was general divorce forum. If we need to go to another place here, please let me know. Thanks again.

Carnation

My friend wanted me to correct something in the above post.

When she first received her money from a relative she put it in an account with BOTH of their names on it. After awhile when problems in their M came up, she withdrew it to move on and this caused her H to wake up some and then H decided to put all of the $$ in an account in only his name so this would not happen again. She went along with it until she noticed that he was withdrawing sums without her knowledge.

Please advise her as to what she can and should do with regard to this account.

Thanks so much, carnation

I too was married to a man that he owned his own business. The scenario started about 5 years before the divorce. The W2's starting showing that he was making $30,000+ that first year. I questioned him, and he said just sign the papers. Before that he was making around $90,000+ a year and was getting some under the table. You have to watch all paperwork. For doing the work, they have work orders. Get all copies of those, but I bet they have some others made up that are put somewhere else. That happened to me too. When they are self-employed it is more difficult to come forth with the accurate information.

Be careful of all insurances. Sure it is illegal to change things, but my ex changed everything. My ex canceled his life insurance. I went to court and my lawyer told the judge and the judge was so upset with the ex. She gave him 90 days to get health insurance back. To get his life insurance back. But once again, I didn't have money to take him back to court, and it took 2 years for him to get this done. I reminded him and he would get upset for reminding him. For my ex is one that doesn't like to be told what to do.

You better get that money out of the bank, close it and deposit it into someone elses account. My ex used some money that I received for an injury to my arm at work. He felt no guilt about using my injury money, and he felt nothing about spending it on the other woman. She needs to watch the money closely....I did and found we were short everymonth, for he was spending about 1-2,000 a month on the other woman.

We were counseling with the Harleys....and I wished I had done all that they said. I would of protected myself. Realize he is not there to protect her, he is out for himself and who knows, maybe someone else. They don't care about you and only care about themselves.

This post is negative, but I was in the same situation and I experienced it. I wished I had listened to the Harleys and done what they said, I would of been better off.

She is on SSI with her chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and this her lawyer will take into account in the divorce. She is going to need care the rest of her life, and possibly things will get worse. I would suggest to you to tell her, to obtain 2 massages a week, with pulmonary hacking done. It has shown to really help someone with this disease and the massage increases circulation and breathing.

Many here can help you....Blessings.