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#1731122 08/15/06 01:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4

In May found personal information that husband had
on a Business Associate. The Associate lives in another
state(found out in June, he was emailing her).
Approached him about the "internet affair", was told,
it was a fantasy, nothing other than email happened,
which I believe. He says he has stopped emailing the
Associate, the the so call affair, was over, I just
read emails in the middle. We had our upset and downs
over the 27 years we can been married, but we both
agree, we've had a good marriage. I believe its
over...but problem is How can I trust him again to
travel, and every time he is on his computer, I get
sick to my stomach. At first I thought I could handle
the situation, but now I'm upsetting him and myself,
by asking questions, and what/if. I am going to a
counselor. To make matters, even worse, he is wanting
to do somethings, that I totally disagree with. Now,
I'm close minded, and not letting him be an individual.


Learning_from
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 219
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 219
Welcome to MB, sorry that you are here. I would suggest that you repost in the General Questions II board, as it gets the traffic and that is where people look. I do not know enough about emotional affairs, which this seems to be, to really help.


Me 45 Her 50
Married '94
DS15, DD13, DS12, DS9
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 92
2
Member
Member
2 Offline
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 92
Dear Learning

I am on the other side of this story..I had an internet affair..sorry to tell you that it went further...and the fact that he is getting angry when he is on the computer???? Well... I would get angry when my H would come down to the family room where the computer was too...felt like he was checking on me..guess what? He had reason too....

If your H has nothing to hide, then he should not get angry with your questions, however be honest and let him know that you are uncomfortable because of what you have discovered...start some TRUTH NOW!..you need to be truthful with your concerns..he needs to be truthful with his answers...

You will question and be "leary" for sometime...but he needs to be honest & open and you will see this for what it is or was...don't take his "word" for it..take his actions for it!...

There are many here who can help you through this...and advise you as to what you should 'watch for" ..I would suggest that you not become paranoid...but you should be attentive!


FWW- Me (44) BH (47) married 23 years EA/PA 02/05 - 07/06 in REAL recovery since 8/06
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4

Thank you for the advise.
I keep thinking of the things that H said in emails to
the OW. Now, I questioning if there was OW, that he
was interested in. H seems to be trying to rebuild
relationship. He tells me he loves me, jokes around,
like nothing ever happened. I don't think he realizes
how serious all the emails were.
Course I question if he is sincere.


Learning_from

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