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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42 |
There is a lot of talk about the need or desirability to expose.
What I wonder, those of you who have exposed your spouse's affair ?
What exactly did you say or write, what words did you use?. Can you give details and/or *actual* examples? How did the receiving person react, and what did they say?
I haven't found these kind of details in my search. I think it would be interesting to know.
time to change the crazy one-sided no-fault divorce laws - ideas/opinions welcome
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256 |
The tone is to ask for help.
You state that marriage is commitment to care for the other. It is not over with the loss of feeling of love (taker mode or withdrawal mode). It is not based on feeling. The vows are not cancelled by “braking up with you”. Marriage is voluntarily made to be more stable than other types of relationships. eg. going out together or living together.
If you are still married, than their relationship is inappropriate. Be prepaired to respond to “they are in love” and “she is no longer in love with you argument”.
DLK21
BS44 XW33 0kids M6“01
DDay8“05 Plan A 8“05 S Harley
XW preg OM due 5“08
D 4"08
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
There is a lot of talk about the need or desirability to expose.
What I wonder, those of you who have exposed your spouse's affair ?
What exactly did you say or write, what words did you use?. Can you give details and/or *actual* examples? How did the receiving person react, and what did they say?
I haven't found these kind of details in my search. I think it would be interesting to know. WHY are you interested? Are you contemplating of exposing an affair yourself in the future? Pep
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42 |
Yes, I am thinking of it, although realistically in my case it may well be too late to do me any good. It's all been going on too long.
But also, I thought it is a quation of general interest to everyone else who is contemplating, because there is so much uncertainty around this issue.
time to change the crazy one-sided no-fault divorce laws - ideas/opinions welcome
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Yes, I am thinking of it, although realistically in my case it may well be too late to do me any good. It's all been going on too long.
But also, I thought it is a quation of general interest to everyone else who is contemplating, because there is so much uncertainty around this issue. There are some general ideas I have about exposure ... if you have a specific question, I'd like to hear it. Pep
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297 |
My H exposed my A to the OM's W nearly a year after the A had ended.
He called her on the phone and said "Hello my name is **. I am Jenny's H. Do you remember me?" She said yes. He said "I'm sorry I have some bad news for you. Your H and Jenny had a physical A that lasted 18 months."
She was shocked but calm and they talked for about an hour.
He did say to her that he was nearly going to come round and punch her H in the mouth but had decided against it. She became very defensive of him (her H) then.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 42 |
Thank you, KiwiJ. That's the kind of input I was looking for.
I found some good threads on the subject of whether to expose or not, even some old ones (by Worthatry) going back to Nov 2002, but the posts tend to be in general terms, rather than specific phrases that are helpful in starting a fruitful exchange over the phone, by email, or in person. I think it is much easier to come to a decision by knowing what to expect.
I hope some other members are able to give that specific kind of insight. Besides making up my mind about my own situation, I would also like to stimulate some general discussion about the wording that is useful for everyone.
time to change the crazy one-sided no-fault divorce laws - ideas/opinions welcome
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