I have dated a WONDERFUL woman four times (about a month), which I met on line. We have a lot in common and share the same interests. Since both of us have come from relationships where we could not trust our significant others, honesty has always been a high priority.

She was honest with me from the begining that she (40 years old) was dating someone (31 years old) pretty seriously and then it ended for reasons I do not know. He has been calling and talking to her and asking if they can get back together.

At first she said, it is NEVER going to happen. Last week when I asked who she was talking to, she said it was him and that she COULDN'T see it happening again.

I have told her that him calling is a concern for me. I have told her that while I really like her, I could step out of the picture if that is what she wants. She said, what a nice thing to say. I will keep that in mind. OUCH.

We talk every day sometimes three or four times a day and are planning on spending this weekend together.

Question: My gut feeling is to not bring him up again. We talk a lot and I am secure with myself and the direction we are headed. Should I keep my mouth shut? Should I express my concerns?

I do know if I press, I will lose her. Don't want to do that!

Thanks in advance for your help.

Personaly, I'd want to know where I stand. Also, I wouldn't want to move forward, investing more of myself, in a relationship that might go south.

I would tell her your not comfortable being in a wait & see position. None of us knows the future so what she says today may be different a week from now if the exbf keeps calling. It sounds like she's not quite done with the ex but maybe a conversation to clarify is in order. No presure, just information so you know where you stand.

You've gone out 4 times and you are distressed that she talks to another man?

A man about whom she says she "couldn't see it happening again"?

If either one of you presses, you both may lose her.