Thanks for the replies, Star and Mr.W. and MyAlias
I want to read your posts again before I respond.
Instead of asking for help from you guys all of the time, I really need to go back and read the help you have given me so far and start applying it.
First thing: I’ve been rereading my thread and I can see where I’m not responding to the things you have told me to do and I also see where I’m “waffling” back and forth.
I keep saying I’m going to stop calling her and I do it for a day or two then right back at it.
I will keep on posting but I need some time to reread what you all have been telling me (for sometime now) and start applying it.
Update:
In the past ww would pick the kids up and take S12 to football practice and leave with the little ones when it was her night to keep them and then I would take S12 over to her house after practice.
Last night I left work a little early and went home, she was still there getting ready to go to practice with the kids.
Right away she asked “do you want to take S12 to practice while I take D7 to get new glasses?
I said “I cant, I have to be somewhere”
I said “ I told S12 “I wont be able to come to practice tonight so I’ll see ya tomorrow.
Now….she looked a little (mad) or (put out) if you will.
She rinsed out a dish in the sink and I started going around the house closing the blinds etc.
Kids kept asking where you going tonight daddy?
D7 even asked “what’s your friends’ name”?
Yeah, D7 she’s a clever one, fishing me for an answer.
I never said I had a friend or a date.
I just said “what friend?”
D7 “where you going?”
JS “just got some things to do”.
Well, WW told kids to hurry up and get going and I got my coat and went out to my car.
I went to Target and then to Chili’s and had a big burger and a couple of Carona’s and then went to a couple of other stores.
Had a good time by myself.
I need to do this more often and leave her to deal with the kids 100% with no help from me. She’s not helped me on one thing with the kids.
When its my night with them, I go to football practice and then run around trying to get kids ready for bed, showers etc. and then when it’s her night I pick up S12 and still help her out.
Now I see why you all are getting so frustrated with me. Star, Mr. W., MyAlias
Rereading my thread has made me frustrated with myself.
Waffle, waffle, waffle………..shamefull.
So anyway…..where was I?
Oh yeah……Kids didn’t call me last night like they usually do.
I’m guessing WW told them I was out. Don’t know.
But I already had planned on not answering my phone anyway so it’s all good.
This morning, phone rang and I let it go to answering machine, It was ww asking me if I could drop off S12 shoes at her house on my way to work and she said I will try your cell phone.
Cell phone rang and I let it go to voice mail to. Then I turned it off in case she tried to 2-way me.
If 2-way goes through then she knows if its on or off. I didn’t want her to think I was being rude by ignoring her, this way I can say battery was dead and phone was off if she asked.
So I get to work and plug my phone in and guess what? There was a message on there from her so I called her back from work phone.
She answered and said she was getting ready to leave to go by my house and get his shoes.
Wow, things are getting harder for her now that Jeff aint helping her out.
Mr. W…….I will answer one of your questions/suggestions now.
p.s. - Is there any way for you to sucker or just ask WW to go out alone with you. If only on the basis of we need to discuss some "business" matters (which of course you avoid discussing anything to make the split up easier and seem more accepted when you are actually out with her...the "business" could legitimately be you telling her how you felt versus how you feel today). You be sure to indicate it's not a date, you two just need to see about being friends first if this is ever gonna work (you mean "marriage" but she'll here working as "in divorce" but either way...use it to get her out with you). Remember, IT IS NOT A DATE. You just get her out and meet her needs for communication by listening, listening, listening. YOU can't teach her anything so don't try. Listen but then distract her to try and have fun together. No serious talk.
Anyway, can you get her out ALONE?
I’m not sure I’m capable enough right now to handle this correctly but I would like to think that if she starts contacting me more in the future that that is something I might try…..good idea by the way.
Tonight she will have the kids again, not sure if she will stay at my house until I get there or not. I’ll just wait and see.
Will I look uncareing if I don’t see the kids after work? Like if she takes them to her house should I stop by to see them before I go home?
Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions.
JS