Has anyone read Dr. Phil's Self Matters? I was wondering what your thought on the book and his beliefs? I just started reading it and was wondering what some of you thought.

I've only watched his show twice! LOL I'm sure that has to be funny to some of you! LOL

Dr Phil had a couple on his show named Charles & Tracy. Charles wanted to explore polyfidelity(a relationship with 2 women, one being his wife...Dr Phil called it plain & simple an affair!) I've been in touch with Tracy by phone & email and she highly recommended Self Matters. She said it made a huge difference in her life. She was required to read this book before appearing on the show. She had nothing but good things to say about the book. I have bought it but haven't started it yet. There is also a workbook that goes along with the book.

I didn't know there was a workbook, cool! I might have to invest in it after I read the book!

The workbook needs to be done at the same time as you're reading the book....Dr Phil tells you which pages to read and then there are excercises to do in the workbook after reading those particular pages. I found both the workbook and book on e-bay at a very reasonable price. Both books also can be purchased on Amazon.com.

I expected this to be about Dr Phil’s “Relationship Rescue”. I spent over 150 hours working on that program and it is quicksand. It delayed my using something useful like HNHN and LB. Now the affaire is leading us to divorce.

DLK21

DLK21-that's good information too. I wanted everyone to share what they think of his materials. Can you please tell us more? I would love to hear what you have to say on it. I'm unaware of the program, so please explain slowly so I can read your lips...LOL

Lovingstill-Since I already have the book and am really amped up about it. I guess I'll just miss out on it...unless it's so great I decided to read it again. I also don't undstand why Amazon didn't recommend the workbook when I purchased the book. Oh, well! Maybe I had refrigator blindness that day.

My point against Dr Phil’s “Relationship Rescue” is that it is overly analytical in the psychological approach. I believe it is Dr Harley that accurately described an analytical approach as hopeless. He is much more of the behavioural approach. One thing that is obvious is that when an A is active, R.R. is useless. I think it is misleading to talk about Rescue. The same can be said about “Getting the Love You Want” by Dr Hendrix. They have complex theories but do they work? They are far less powerful.

The Harley’s have so much more experience, mastery of the effective tools and real results. His 10 basic concepts are like a description of laws of nature. They are extremely powerful and valuable.

Thank you for sharing your view. I don't percieve myself reading RR. I am very happy with Dr. Harley approach and I think I am reaping the rewards for self and today could be the day I reap the rewards in my M.

I do like to read our approaches...we all take what we need and discard the rest...I've been fortunate that most of the information backs up what I have read here.

DLK- Do you have any recommended reading? I'm always looking for reinforcement...I appreciate your perceptive!

That is a good question recommended reading. After suggesting reading most of BH’s writings I would recommend:
Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”.
Dr Kevin Leman’s “Sex Begins in the Kitchen”.
Dr James Dobson’s “Love Must Be Tough” with many reservations on the methods but it has many good insight.


DLK21

HI, DLK21...
Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”.- what more can I say awesome book...I was so excited during and after I read it.

As for the other two...I'll have to keep them in mind!

Right now I'm reading in addition to Dr. Phil's Self Matters...

Harriet Lerner,Ph.D. The Dance Of Connection-good material, almost finished...I see some of Dr. Harley's content in it at the very end...She also wrote THe Dance Of ANger- I'm very interested in reading that one...I'll have to look for it the next time I'm at the library.

And The Zen of Listening by Rebecca Z. Shafir- It's got some good stuff in it too.

You ask why is she reading three books at once? well, I read one at work on break, one in the living room, and one in the bedroom. LOL Not my usual routine...I usually start a book then finish it before starting another...I guess I was daring to be different... LOL

Thanks for the info...and can you keep me in mind if you run across anything else?

I’m reading « How to Get Your Lover Back» these days by Blase Harris, m.d.
1989 Dell Publishing. ISBN 0-440-50089-3

He is a psychiatrist whose own girl friend walked out on.
It is interesting in that is describes well the option of a Plan A with no stick that the BS with no children and a walk away wife is left with.

I really like it. I wish it was written for the married. It has good insights on being non judgemental and loving to get your mate back.

One book I liked is "How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days". Worked for me.