The OM in 34 and a big myspace person, that is how he reconnected to his truelove my wife.... anyway long story short.

I read some great threads today and felt empowred....

20 minutes ago - I called OM's how to talk to OMW who they are divorcing. OM has been saying some negative things to my WW about her, she being greedy and weak. the usual stuff of making himself sound like the victim. No one answered

15 minutes ago my wife called me asking why am I calling OMM home. I calmly tell her that I want to talk to OMW let her know I feel for her, had some advice for her and some information that she might us. Then I told my WW that I had to get back to work and hung up.

10 minutes ago I see OM logged into myspace. Though he was going to try and bait me again and spew some childish comments at me - he has been doing this and I keep printing them out and adding them to my legal folder.

5 minutes ago his entire myspace page is gone, not private but deleted gone. Not there anymore.

THis is just a shallow victory but it shows me that this man is weak, selfish, shallow, manipulative and everything else OM's are.

I don't know what will happen, I just got off the phone again with my wife to talk about picking up the kids, she was calm and sounded down but that is normal with our conversations.

Hopefully I took the wind out of her sails for a bit.

I also think that the OM thinks I have lots of information what he has said about his OMW and since they just started their divorce process he is scared of her finding out that he has berated her to his OW -my OW

Now I am going dark to see what happens.

I hope you really are going to share what you have with OMW. She deserves to have that info!

Nice work viking!!!

Bingo!!

He thinks this - BECAUSE YOU DO HAVE LOTS OF DAMNING INFO!!!!

Right now, you could be the most powerful man on his planet.

Good job.

I don't think he peed. I think it was #2. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WAT

WAT:

You think he carved a twister? Browned his shorts?


...so do I!

-ol' 2long

"Are farts supposed to be lumpy?"


VERY funny!

Maybe hershey squirts, too.

I hope viking's enjoying this - he has good reason to!

WAT

Well I am not going to celebrate just yet, One thing I have learned from MB is expect the unexpected from the alien.

One reason I pushed this on him right now is that WW is thinking - actually planning on taking me to court for custody or our 3 kids.... not because Iam a bad dad but her friends let her know that child support goes down when you share custody and I have given my wife a very comfortable lifestyl and she doesn't want to give it up, even though she wants to walk away from our marriage.

One of her complaints about me in the past is that I never stood up for her or defended her.... but today after I called his house she had to call me and ask why I was calling.... where is the man in this fantasy.

So back to the custody, so she is doing it for money.

I ahve 3-4 inch's of information on her for the past year, mostly phone records, text messages and now myspace pictures. The guy kept taking bait I was posting to say ha she is with me now buddy, so he would post pictures of him and her hugging and being all lovely... Told my lawyer and he cried laughing, they don't know what the damage they are doing to them.

Because I am the bad baddy, I am with my girls at church for the wednesday nigth all girl bible study. Did I mention that we are sending them to a christian school, did I also mention that my wife hasn't been to church in over a year.

Well I am going dark again with her and will let things ride... I miss the little 3rd grade comments he would post on his page directed at me or to impress her.

Oh well.

Not talking about celebrating - just one victory in the war.


You're not giving her anything extra, right?

Does she have any hope of getting more than 50/50 custody?

WAT

Well WW has painted a very ugly picture of me to her new lawyer - that is what my lawyer said in his first chat with her lawyer in the courthouse hall. My lawyer beleives once he gets a chance to talk to her that she will understand the drama of my WW. As a father I am A # 1, As a BS I might have been over the top with some recorders and being around the house for the while I was out. but for the past 2 months I have been back in the house, so it kinda a grey legal area are we or are we not legally separated since I am in the house performing marital duties.

WW came home tonight after I tucked the kids in and didn't seem to be phased by it, so I guess the OM isn't too phases, but whats interesting enough is that with him deleting his myspace place, he lost all the links to all his friends, so even if he creates a new site he still has to rebuild his friends.

........or lean on your wife for all his needs.

Good.

Upsets and turmoil in affairs is good. Most often affairs don't need help to self destruct.

Lay low and be the best Dad you can be.

WAT

One of the reason's I stirred the pot today is that WW is getting cocky with potential custody litagation and I want her to act now instead of dragging this on. So she might get spiteful and lash out but I don't know now.

I move out Aug 26 and I want to take the girls for a week - she is fighting that idea and wants me only to have the girls every other weekend

Don't move out.

Why do such a thing?

WAT

Viking,

Do not leave your home until custody has been decided, and signed off on.

If you do it can/will hurt you in a child custody hearing. If you and your WW agree on custody now get it in writing.

The reason being if you leave the home and the kids with your WW you are saying she is a good parent and you have no problem leaving your kids there.

So Mr. Viking you say that you should get 50% custody because of ..... but you left the kids with her 80% of the time. Kinda wipes out any arguments you might have later.

Just an FYI. When I saw a lawyer he said don't leave. If she doesn't like it she can leave. If she does do not let her take the kids.

Okay background to show you how screwy this is...

I left March 31, because of wifes involvement with OM1 April and May I spent every afternoon at home with kids. Wife went off reservation and fantasyland let me and MIL take care of the kids. End of May early June OM1 drops off - wife and I start talking, back in march I took wedding ring off and gave it to her said I didn't want it back until she wanted me to have it. April and May I asked for it back never got it. June we took a day trip to the beach... She reached in her purse and got her rings out and put them on, then gave me my ring back and I put it on.

June 25 - Truelove comes back into picture - you can read that thread for more detail- June 29 we sign seperation paper work give me 50/50 and giving her CS. July 3-5, July 13-17 and July 28-30 she goes to NY to be with OM2. They are attached to the cell phone when she is her, she ignores hte kids, she hasn't gone looking for a job.

Now the few friends she has left are telling 50/50 means lot less money.... guess what she wants to fight for custody. Also in her fantasy she wants to move to NY to be with OM2 who is just now starting his divorce.

So lawyer says I am protected its just that WW wants to go to court to get things changed,

She has 2 hand written pages of notes - Husband mean, husband interferring with my dating, husband listens to conversations - I live in the same freaking house, what do you expect me to do.

Anyways, wife is 13 year old mentally and is really screwed in life without someone supporting her (that is my opinion) and a lot of people that know her better than her current group of "friends" The OM2 is selfish and wants to be single and I honestly think is playing my wife.... thus the conflict with me going to his wife could prove to be ugly for him.

Well she has a right to know that is for sure.

As far as custody goes, I hate to say it but you are a man. Any good lawyer will tell you that they say it doesn't matter but it does.

Now being prepared etc is the best thing a man can do.

I power studied every thing that would increase my chances of more custody.

If the WW really wants to move to NY then that can be a really big factor. At least where I live.

I can tell you now the lawyer I spoke to said if the courts get a whiff of the fact that any part of your reason for custody is so you pay less child support you are hosed. (me being the man)

I had the same feeling that my FWW would want a fight because of that. Stay above that.

No I don't want 50% so I have to pay her less. I want 50% because I love my kids.

The lawyer I spoke with said he had a wonderful way to deal with it.

He asked the W if she would accept 50% custody if the H paid child support as if she had 70%. If they answered yes they just hosed themselves.

He did say that if her lawyer was there and she paused her lawyer would advise her not to answer that question. But if FWW opens her mouth too soon.

Well I have been documenting everything I do with my kids, camera phones are great. Since my WW is stuck in fantasy land she is also enabling to develope my stronger position. For instance I took 2 of my 3 daughters to the doctor today. I made the appt and I kept the appt. I asked my WW if she wanted to come with me but she was sleeping at 9:30 this morning because she stays up late talking to OM on the phone.

I am paying for my kids schooling
I am taking on 100% of the marital debt
I am paying off her car.
I am giving her alimony - after I pay off her car.

I am not trying to be greedy.

One thing my WW doesn't get - she doesn't get a lot of things- is that CS is set now because she doesn't work. If she gets a 13$ an hour job, CS goes down. It would would go from 1500 to 500 for 3 kids... but she doesn't realize that.

My wife has a part time job this summer but she keeps missing days to travel to OM

She missed last friday work to go to a concert.

All this is being documented

My 11 yr old has told me she wants 50/50 to spend with both of us... I wont use her but its nice to know the kids want it.

VK,

When you move out and have to pay rent or a mortgage elsewhere the child support obligation may also go down. Then when money gets tight for her and she works MORE to make up the difference you can have CS adjusted again. Most states can annually modify the order.

Have you emailed me before??? If not, please do. I got something to share with you off-line. Email addy below.

Mr. Wondering

There was a loop hole in our LSA - one that I should have caught - we did the LSA ourselves and didn't get lawyer's until it got nasty.

I have to wait this week for the lawyer's to meet and discuss the case.

WW is going to NY this weekend, offered me first right of refusal to to take the kids Thur/Fri and the kids our mine this weekend.

I am still in the house but have just kept myself to upstairs when I am there.

Wife sent the kids to me this morning asking for lunch money and I said I didn't have any (which I didn't) and I said to them if she can get a plane ticket to NY she can pay for your lunch's this week.

God I love my kids and its going to kill me not to be there every night... she is obviously punishing me for the phone call last week and the fact I stood up to her about OM... I have evidence that he used corporate resource to pay for her stuff (cell/pda)

I so desperately want to be with my kids as much as possible, my ww is now looking at trading in her SUV. But I have the lean on it so she has to pay that off first, which would leave her with only 4K to put on a new car. She was thinking she wold take the entire trade-in value and be able to pay for a used card so she would start getting child support.

Our LSA has it that she doesn't get alimony until her car is paid off.

I'm a little confused but I'll try.

If she trades-in the car the lein will have to be paid off first. She can then take the $4k and buy a used car with it. She then can get alimony. I assume until she does so YOU are required to pay on the car. If not, try to delay such sale. If you do make the payments, I wonder, are the car payments about equal to the amount of alimony you are required to pay under the LSA??? If so, then so be it. She'll be driving around in a piece of crap car. Pretty good consequence for her and the money's all the same to you.

If you want you could email me the LSA agreement with any questions you have. I'll give it a look through for you.

Mr. Wondering