Post deleted by LowOrbit

She'll be with you for a month- not him.

Make it so that contact with him while she is there is very difficult.

You have that length of time to Plan A like crazy.

DO IT

Question ....



In your opinion, why did your daughter inform you about this latest dental appointment?

Is your daughter in favor of her parents reconciling?

Or, is your daughter angry at her mother?

Low ... take the high road here ... not the LOW road !!!!

I whole-heartedly recommend ~~~> [color:"red"] YOU call Mrs Dentist, & expose your lovely wife & her dentist to the light of day! THAT is a very LOVING gesture on YOUR part... but getting a revenge nookie appointment will make you persona non-grata for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

Pep

You are not supposed to be reacting LOW, you are supposed to be working your plan.

I'm in favor of exposure as well.

LO,

I get so angry for you. Grrr.

Perhaps at this point, you should re-evaluate your plan. What is your plan?

Despite our issues on another thread, I feel for you here. I have been through this [email]cr@p[/email] myself and I know it hurts like he!!.
After everything that has gone on, do not allow this one episode to change your plans for the month. You have a goal... keep it in mind. Don't have expectations for the month... as difficult as it is.. just control the way that you respond, keep it loving and caring. Perhaps you can win back her affections. I wish you luck.

Sure sounds like cake-eating to me. I would seriously reconsider my options.

Perspective

Low had a little "closure meeting" with his OW hisveryownself!

Because of his experience in "the fog" ... I can imagine Low extending his wife some grace

Pep

email from wife today...

She is not coming. According to her, the newly separated dentist wants to pursue a relationship...and she wants to give it a chance...

Despite all my enlightened pontifications here...my desires to be so gracious and magnanomous...my heart isn't much different from others....

This hurts. Not just a little. My heart and my head don't match.

Why do we lie to ourselves? Why do we deny how much we really care for someone? Yet, when something like this happens...there is no denying it...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Low,

No advice here. I am not the best in the sitch's cause I get mad for you and that doesn't help.

All I can do is lend you a hand if you need help getting up.

Good luck the hand is here for you. Heck I will even help dust you off.

Work your plan.

Unreal. I am sorry. You have truly given it your best, you cannot regret that. Please take care - Dru

stand tall. stand proud. Cry if you have to, but never doubt yourself. you tried. The brave may fall but never yield.

Its your call. Dont make rash decisions. give it time.

Be proud of yourself.

Hurting along with you.

Plan B. LO, she is cake eating. You know it, she knows it, your daughter knows it... even while she is 'giving this a try'(the relationship with the dentist...) she knows, she can fall back on you. WHY GIVE HER THAT SECURITY?

It's about time she starts to think of the long term..life without LO. I have a feeling she has no worries about that.

-hang in there

Dear LO,

I'm sorry you are in a bad place right now.

Please remember that it's all "obvious" for anyone who has read up on MB that a relationship like your W will start with this man has little chance for success.
But your W doesn't know that.
She probably needs to be needed..
And I don't think she knew/knows that you were interested in rebuilding your M ?
Did she read your signals right ?
If she's deep in the fog now herself from her A and all the problems it entails..
How could she hear you and understand what you are saying?

I hope you'll feel better soon.

Sorry to hear this LO! I know that must have hurt like crap to hear that and it ticks me off for you.

"Give the R a chance"...it has no damn chance!

stay strong.
HTW

There will be days like this. just hang in there.

wait a bit.

You are the stronger of the 2 . Just wait.

call Mrs dentist

let her know

information from your wife is suspect

expose

Pep

Hi LO, I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling.

When ex told me for the second time he wanted to D, after a one year false recovery, I felt that horrible pain too. I felt something elso to though. The pain was familiar, it didn't take as long to process what was going on & I knew this was more about him than me. I knew I'd done all I could (aside from confirming an affair & expossing it) to save my marriage.

As it turned out ex wanted a new life. He wanted one away from me & with his gf. I didn't know how to fight that fight. He was already half way gone mentally the first time he said he wanted to D. I think he only stayed to say he'd done what he could but he was only physically there, not emotionally or mentally. Does this sound like your W?

(((((LowOrbit)))))

I hope you're feeling a little better today LO.

Something else I wanted to share with you too. As time went on it & the fight to save the marriage was clearly just a one sided effort I was able to see ex more clearly for the person he is. Not the one I married, or the one I'd hope he'd be, but who he was at that point in time. I didn't like that man, I didn't want that man.

To have an affair, to not fess up, to only think of yourself, not your vows or your commitment to your family, to be physically present for fake recovery but not emotionally or mentally, on & on...Is that who I wanted to be my partner? No.

All this doesn't mean there weren't moments where I would have had him back before the D was final, I would have. The closer we got to D the more clearly I was able to see him & become a stronger, better person, one who will make the next man in my life a good partner. I deserved better than H could give me, now I'm in a position to get that.

Here's a question for you: How do you try out another person within a marriage?

I guess, in the end, that's what I couldn't do. Allow that to be OK with me (though I'd basically offered that) & still have love for him & me. Maybe that's when I really started to let go of the desire to save the marriage.