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I love you..
#1733241 08/17/06 06:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 27
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haf Offline OP
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haf
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 27
Dday over 4 years ago. A year and a half ago he did something that made me realize he still had something for OW. No contact because I intervened. But it caused me to fall out of love. Because of some family events, wedding, graduation, I decided to stay for awhile, through time and WH perservence to make things right, worked. My feelings for him did come back but not as strong as they once were. I look at it like a light bulb, from darkness to 15 watts to 25,40,60 to 75 and hoping for 100 watts. We are happy and doing well. But I have a hard time saying I love you and I don't need to hear it like I once did. It seems when I start to feel close, I want to pull away and protect my heart. Is this normal, Has anyone else felt this way, and is there hope that I will ever be able to say I love you with all my Heart, not half heartedly.
Re: I love you..
haf #1733242 08/17/06 08:05 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256
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DLK21 Offline
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DLK21
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256
Hi haf.

It sounds perfectly normal considering what you have been thru. I believe that putting more energy on discovering and fulfilling each others emotional needs could change how you feel. Your H needs to protect your feelings and develop your trust in this.

DLK21

BS44 XW33 0kids M6“01
DDay8“05 Plan A 8“05 S Harley
XW preg OM due 5“08
D 4"08
Re: I love you..
DLK21 #1733243 08/17/06 08:16 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
USA
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MrWondering Offline
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MrWondering
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Sounds a little like you may have buried the issue and not completed a suitable recovery. That the day to day just took over instead of getting to the root causes of his infidelity and growing together.

You sound ripe for your own revenge affair.

I don't know. I'm just over a year out and I can't relate to your feelings.

I'd suggest getting His Needs, Her Needs on CD Audio version and take a road trip with your husband to listen to it TOGETHER. Cornering your man in the car is the perfect place to have relationship discussions. Men can more easily open up when not having to make continual eye contact and he's trapped in the discussion without suitable distractions.

Good luck...sorry your feeling ignored. Responses and developing relationships with posters that can relate to you and you them takes time. Stick around.

Mr. Wondering

FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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