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I realized today that I no longer even think like a former wayward , I am just me . I have a hard time posting to waywards at times because I cannot remember the mindset very clearly. No the A has not suddenly disappeared from my memory, it is a state of mind or state of being that is different. That person is dead, gone and buried. It is a good feeling. I remember when a MB friend called herself a Recovered WW and now I get it. I don't even think of myself that way anymore. My mind thinks so much like a recovering BS now. So BS's take heart that the caterpiller can turn into a newly shaped life form of a beautiful butterfly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by faithful follower; 08/18/06 04:50 PM.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Maybe it would be a good idea to use RH or RW in cases like this.
I would like to change mine from FWW to RW but then again I have to deal with BS, um?
Congrads!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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I would like to change mine from FWW to RW but then again I have to deal with BS, um? Then if you feel like a BS only change the F to a R. Good for you Rinderella! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Hugs [[[[[[FF]]]]]] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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That's awesome FF!! I wish I was there. I don't think I am yet. I mean, I'm clearly a *F*WW... have been for 3 1/2 years, but I don't think I'm where you are at, because it still in ways seems like yesterday. I was disappointed with myself the other day, because I woke up, and remembered it was xom's bday. I thought, wth is wrong with me?!?... because one year ago, the day passed, and it was several weeks before I thought of it, and was SO PLEASED I had forgotten. Thought, WOW... I'm making good progress!! Then this year... when I'm a whole 'nother year away from it all... I remember. In my kinda sorta defense.. his bday is a few days after mine, and a few days before OC's. Sucks. Sorry to be a downer on your positive thread. I REALLY AM happy for you!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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((((FF)))) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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also, Autumn Day... I understand... I didn't remember OM's BD this year either, and I was soooo pleased as well. I'm sure next year I'll remember it, and feel as you do. However, when I was in high school, I was in love with Joe Elliott from Def Leppard. Every other year or so, I remember HIS birthday. So maybe remembering birthdays doesn't really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Here's hopin'. Long live rock and roll... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> KM
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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And what a wonderful you you are, Faith!
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FF,
Wooo Hooo! This is great news! Congratulations!
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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FF, thanks so much...I really apprecaite your insight in the matter!
Congrads...again!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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{{AD}} For me it is a state of mind. I still am in the back of my mind aware of things like xOM's bday because I knew him for years before the A. Just sort of like my friends I no longer talk to the awareness in the back of my mind is there BUT I DON'T CARE! I don't care how he is doing. I am not the woman I was that allowed me to cross the line, that allowed me to lie to my H for years. That is why it took me so long to get to this point. As they say "the truth shall set you free", yes it does. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
You have come a long way, AD.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Hi ff - congrats! I have a hard time posting to waywards at times because I cannot remember the mindset very clearly. Please do not shy away from revealing your prior abducted state! This forum could not be nearly as valuable, IMHO, without the participation of former abductees - for both the betrayed and the wayward. I don't think this is what you were suggesting, but I just wanted to make a pitch for the necessity of FWSs posting here. WAT
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Absolutely WAT! I still post to them but it gets harder as I only feel like a BS anymore. The pain of being a wayward is gone except for the remnants of the shame for how badly I hurt my H.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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No disrespect, but let me know when you husband agrees with the no longer FWW part. That is probably when it matters most 'for the marriage'. For your personal growth, it absolutely awesome that you have grown so much. I'm sure God is smiling on you for that.
9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.
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My mind thinks so much like a recovering BS now. So you were originally a WS and then became a BS? And you went through the transition of WS -> FWS -> RWS -> BS -> RBS? Am I remotely close?
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So you were originally a WS and then became a BS? And you went through the transition of WS -> FWS -> RWS -> BS -> RBS? Am I remotely close? Close, Todd. It was WS, FWS, BS, BS, BS and during the last two of his A's I became a RWS and now I am just ME. Rookev, my H totally agrees. He probably would say he thought so before I did. He has no issues trusting me and he is slowly beginning to earn back my trust.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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FF, I've ALWAYS seen you as a RWW. For Rook and Todd, it goes more like this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> WS - FWS - RWS - BS, BS, BS, WH's OC FF, you are good people <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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Thanks, Jen. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I think I found my integrity again.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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